The first Christmas after Lil E was born, we set the self-timer on the digital camera with the best of new parent intentions (read: laughably high hopes) to take the perfect family portrait for our holiday cards. Fifty-four photos later (I kid you not), we called it quits, tore down the studio (read: Velux blanket thrown over the couch) and settled one where no one's bodily fluids or post-partum jelly belly were showing. Our cards sort of looked like the nativity scene minus the sheep and kings, but at that point, it just did not matter.
The thing is, the photo taking only intensified from there. By Lil E's first birthday, we'd amassed over 4,000 pictures, some tender and amazing and capturing an ideal new babe moment, and others that I just could not bear to delete (even with bodily fluids and bellies front and center). For every digi-camera wielding parent filling up memory cards with not-so-cute pics of the oh-so-cute kiddos, there's a photographer itchy to remedy the situation. It's no surprise that I'm a junkie for the photography tip crack, and perhaps it also is no surprise that I'm often uninspired by what I read.
Here are a few professional tips (with completely unprofessional commentary) that may or may not help you snap shots of your sweet thang:
1. It's never too early to take photos of the baby. This tip clearly falls in the No Kidding category, considering that the child's first shoot took place when half its body was still inside mommy. But just in case you forget to take photos when your baby is all fresh and tiny and still, then I guess this is a good reminder.
2. Don't try to be Anne Geddes. That is, do not place an infant who can't even lift his head up on to an open-faced flower, over a pumpkin or inside a gauze baggie. At least not alone. If you feel compelled to get all kinds of artsy, volunteer to stay behind the camera so you can blame the daddy or grandma if anything or anyone slides off the props.
3. Use tricks to get your baby's attention. Like playing peek-a-boo. Or making an un-loud, non-intimidating sound. Or (this is a real suggestion, I swear) tickling the newborn's face with a feather duster. Really? I can't think of a person on this planet who would not get crabby and over-stimulated (and not in a good way) by getting a mouth-full of ostrich. Plus, every over-anxious, properly scare-mongered new mother knows that gazillions of germy bugs live inside those things and God only knows how many bookshelves that duster's been on.
4. Watch what you dress the baby in. While nakey pictures are clearly a parental favorite, sometimes, for the sake of future therapy bills you must actually dress your baby for the photo shoot. This photographer warns parents to watch out for (gasp) wrinkled clothing. Wrinkles? Ha! I take your fold-lines and raise you a projectile spit-up, long strings of drool and several poopsplosions.
5. Don't forget to include mom. Now this tip, I can get behind. Or rather, in front. Because I'm the one who actually pauses a tender or hilarious or disgusting moment to run for the camera, there are about 1/100th the number of mother-son photos to father-son photos sitting idle on our hard drive. Seriously, what a rip. As cute as all that testosterone is, a mama needs some model love, too.
With that, you should be all set to take gorgeous portraits of your new baby, spend an hour uploading them on Flickr and then forget to ever print them off or look at them again. Happy shooting!
