It's an old dilemma, really:
Love the mommy, hate the kid
(or at least really, really dislike and curse the kid constantly under
your breath). It is the sister-truth to that other dilemma:
Hate the daddy, adore the kid
(or at least really, really trying to ignore the annoying parent-talk
and focus on how in the world those people produced that gem of a
child). To some degree, we've all been there, seething and squirmy in
the precarious land of interpersonal playground relationships.
But
what do you do when you're on the edge of losing a friendship because
you disagree with the way your friend parents? How do you negotiate
your personal connection with a friend who's parenting style causes you
to cringe?
Jill Brooke dips into this murky water,
interviewing parents who have lost friendships over parenting
disagreements. While the offenses range from big time (like one dad
trying to be a cool pal to the kids, to the point of boundary-crossing
concern) to wee (like one mom pulling herself and her kid out of a
friendship because the other family's kid addressed them with "Hi,
poopy face"). Could it be that we invest so much in being good parents
ourselves, in believing in the strategies and principals and
overarching ethics of how we choose to raise our kids, that we find it
very hard to get past that people we've befriended are doing it so
differently? Or is it that once some of us become parents, it is
really tricky to separate that part of our identity from the rest of
ourselves?
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