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• How to Discipline Your Child -- Finally, Some Answers!

  When your kids misbehave, are you a ranter or a reasoner? Genetically, I'm a ranter who, until now, has fought hard to become the calm reasoner. I've tried (unsuccessfully) to recreate myself into the kind of mom who, in the heat of a child's blatant disregard for the sanctity of a peaceful home and/or the delicate nature of my own sensitive nerves, could quietly make "I" statements, talk about feeeeeelings and sensibly redirect the defiant child into more acceptable actions or self-expression. You know, so my kid could make better judgments, make better choices, change her own behavior without so much damn intervention (and talking and feeling and discussion -- or ranting). But guess what? Not only are ranters barking up the wrong tree, reasoners aren't getting anywhere either.   Read More... Posted Apr 12 2008, 03:13 PM by Madeline Holler with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: discipline, parenting philosophies, spanking, hitting, parenting styles, hitting kids, abusive parents, relationships, parent behavior, defiant child, positive behaviors, "I" statements

• Badass Japanese Mom

  Tough talk from a badass 44-year-old Japanese mom: "I wanted to show my children that if you give up, then you're washed up!"   Read More... Posted Mar 01 2008, 12:13 PM by Madeline Holler with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: parenting philosophies, parenting advice, Japan, parenting styles, boxing, sport parents, athletes, japanese boxer

• Spanking Leads to Sex Problems

  A new study claims that children who were spanked may be at a higher risk for sexual problems later in life. Initial findings of the study suggest in addition to being spanked, kids who were slapped or hit, had objects thrown at them are at a greater risk for being coercive with a sexual partner or engage in masochism (or get aroused by spanking). Yikes! Generations of parents flogging themselves from shame after reading this report. The good news is ... Read More... Posted Feb 29 2008, 08:06 AM by Madeline Holler with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: discipline, parenting philosophies, spanking, abuse, hitting, parenting styles, hitting kids, abusive parents, parent behavior, abusive relationships, abused children, sexual problems

• Playing With Your Kids May Not Be Good For Them

  Parenting philosophy is a lot like fashion: if you wait long enough, everything comes back into style. Looks like our friend Christie Mellor was on the cutting edge of a trend that might emerge from latest reseach indicating that playing with your kids is not only not the natural order of things, but it might not even be very good for them. Which means it could very well be that my exasperated pleas to "go play. With anything. With my makeup. In my wedding dress. I don't care, just GO AWAY" mean I'm doing exactly what nature intended. One problem with the whole "play with your kids" directive, it seems, is that parents feel guilty if they aren't really into it. And of course, guilty parents are crappy ones, because getting back to biological basics doesn't mean shaking off centuries of accumulated pop-psychology wisdom. And another problem is that kids raised with the modern idea that they need to be played with by their caregivers grow up spoiled and unable to entertain themselves. Which...yes. I'm going to go on a limb here though, and say that balance is probably the key. Posted Jul 24 2007, 03:04 PM by Patti with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: parenting, parenting philosophies, playing, experts

• Attachment Parenting: Giving Kids a Sense of Security or Entitlement?

  Attachment Parenting is becoming pretty mainstream these days - the slings-wearers, the breast feeders, the co-sleepers: they're everywhere!  AP is an idea that is so old, it's new again, and most parents today practice AP in some form or another.  Thanks in part to mainstream magazines like Mothering, HipMama and good ol' Dr. Sears, it is now fairly common to breast feed on demand, co-sleep, and wear your baby.  These are all positive things.  But what happens when attachment parenting lets you down?  BadBadIvy, over at Love Shak, Baby recently posted a rarely-heard take on attachment parenting that I feel like I could have written myself.  In her post, How the AP Movement Gave My Daughter a Sense of Entitlement, Ivy explores the idea that perhaps anticipating her daughter's every need, and rarely separating from her until the age of 3, may have contributed to her daughter's evolution into a demanding little diva.  Ivy is quick to point out that she doesn't blame AP, so much as she wonders how much attachment parenting, combined with her daughter's innate personality and temperament, played a part in her growing into "the exact definition of diva. She expects things to go her way, and she wants that to happen right now. She also wants to be with me every second of every day." Read More... Posted May 08 2007, 09:33 AM by Alisyn with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: baby, parenting philosophies, attachment parenting, love shak

• Will Babies Make Great Lovers?

  Babies that turn to their parents for comfort have better relationships down the road, while babies who show off that head-strong "independent" streak might be in for some relationship woes. This comes from a two-decade study of babies and their relationships with their parents. "If you are more insecure when you are 1, you are more likely to experience more negative emotions in your relationship with your current partner when you are 21," said psychologist Jeffry Simpson. Read More... Posted Feb 13 2007, 08:04 PM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: parenting, babies, behavior, parenting philosophies, culture, worried parents, fathers and daughters, study

• Is Wal-Mart Too Evil for Parents?

  Those who travel through the parenting territories of the Blog-O-Sphere know that there are a number of hot button topics, which when brought up tend to lead to discussions bearing an uncanny, almost eerie resemblance to the one depicted here. Absolutism, in case you haven't noticed, is the bread-and-butter of many a parenting blog, and Evil can be found everywhere, from parents who (gasp!) give their babies formula to a certain cadre of happy-go-lucky Australian entertainers who extoll the virtues of fruit salad and New York firefighters. One big (big, as in "makes more money than most of the nations on Earth" big) target of derision is Wal-Mart. Full disclosure: I rarely shop there, for a number of reasons (chief among these - the greeters, with their empty smiles and lifeless eyes...black eyes, like a doll's eyes...when they come at you, they don't seem to be living...), and I don't really have an opinion of Wal-Mart (other than "the greeters, they ain't right") either way. But a lot of parents choose not to shop there, for reasons that are decent ones: the company has a reputation as a low-paying, small business-crushing behemoth that's made its fortune on the backs of sweatshop slaves. Thus we have the argument over Wal-Mart - whether or not it's morally right to shop there. So is Wal-Mart really evil? Read More... Posted Jan 24 2007, 05:34 AM by JasonAvant with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: shopping, anti-consumerism, parenting philosophies, capitalism, Wal-Mart, commerce

• LinkLove: You're Not The Only Parent Doing Things You Never Thought You Would

  I'll admit it: I do things as a parent I didn't ever think I'd do.  I think we all do, right?  (Please say I'm right.)  I mean, it's easy to have principles and philosophies and parenting theories and all that, when you're pregnant, or when you have tiny, sling-bound babies.  But once you have real, live, flesh and blood kids running around tearing up the joint - jonesing, whining, wheedling, arguing, laughing, talking, jumping, oh my! - those principles get put to the test.   Some of those philosophies may start to seem slightly unattainable. Some may even be downgraded to "guidelines" or "pipe dreams."   One of the things I love the most about parenting today is that we talk openly about things like parenting philosophies (or lack thereof), post-partum sex (or lack thereof), baby daddies, babyproofing our marriages, and the cold, hard fact that raising kids is hard; it doesn't always go how you want, or plan, for it to.  And you have to learn to go with the flow. I let my kids watch TV.  Never thought I would.  I also let them eat organic meat.  Never thought I would do that either, as a longtime former vegetarian.  I also - and this drives some people insane - let my kids call me by my first name.  They don't do it all the time, but pretty regularly.  I think it's cute.  CityMama moves her family around more than she thought she ever would.  Gir's Gone Child lets her kid walk around with goose eggs the size of Texas on his forehead. Mom-101 finds joy in her daughter's snotty nose. Lisa Whelchel (yup, she's Blair from "The Facts of Life") takes giddy pictures when her hubz falls off the roof while putting up Christmas Lights.  (Hey, you've got to see the sunny side, right?) Suburban Misfit is realizing that this parenting gig is serious.     Posted Jan 05 2007, 12:57 PM by Alisyn with | with no comments Filed under: parenting philosophies, parenting differently, things you thought you'd never do