Strollerderby

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• In Praise of the "Manny"

  After Amy Kuras posted this piece about Boy Scouts getting training to be baby sitters, I was surprised to see some of the comments assuming that male caregivers are de facto abuse risks to children.  Not only do I think this is a woefully discriminatory way of viewing half the human population, I think there might even be some benefits to male caregivers that female caregivers don't offer.  I propose that it can even be dangerous to exclude boys and men as boys and men from childcare and that using them as caregivers can even help prevent abuse. First let me address the discrimination aspect.  I am sure that many Strollerderby readers have fathers, husbands, brothers and perhaps old-enough-to-baby-sit sons who aren't abusers and could never be abusers.  Of course they do.  So I have to scratch my head at the knee-jerk fear some women express about the idea of a male baby sitter.  To categorically dismiss all boys and men as potential abusers doesn't make sense.  Yes, statistically, most abusers are "heterosexual" men, but statistically, most abusers are also related to the children they abuse.  In fact, some statistics show that one third of sexual molestation is perpetrated by a parent. But I bet most moms don't refuse to allow their children's fathers to be alone with their children because of the statistical probability that they will be abusers.  It would be ridiculous to use statistics that way, right?  Relying on statistical percentages rather than actual knowledge of an individual baby sitter applicant would be similarly foolish. I think categorically mistrusting male caregivers and categorically trusting female ones is in itself dangerous.  Why?  Because Read More... Posted Feb 06 2009, 11:00 AM by Shannon LC Cate with | with 23 comment(s) Filed under: child abuse, childcare, incest, babysitters, nannies, mannies, Shannon LC Cate, boy baby sitters, male role models

• Do We Teach Kids To Be Scared of Men?

  The majority of sexual predators are male, so it certainly makes sense that we train our kids to be wary of strange men. But is the end result that we are training our children to be afraid of guys? The author of this excellent bit on MomSquawks thinks so, and I think she's got a good point. She notes out how we tell kids if they get lost, they should look for "a mom with a stroller" or other child-friendly female. But she reminds us that women aren't always safe either, and that by casting the net wide, we arouse suspicions about great guys, since the majority of men aren't preying on kids.   Read More... Posted Aug 31 2007, 08:32 AM by Kelly Mills with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: dads, men, mannies, stranger danger