In a soon-to-be-published book, "Lube Job: A Woman's Guide to Great Maintenance Sex," Debra and Don McLeod write about the importance of maintenance sex in keeping a monogamous couple happy, healthy, and out of divorce court. As the authors of a blog on marriage, monogamy, and the challenges therein, these folks seem to know what they are talking about. If successful marital lovin' has less to do with clothes-ripping screamfests and more to do with quiet quick and thorough, then count me in.
In an age when Tantra is the new missionary position, and the practice of light bondage, dress-up and fantasy role-play is as common as inappropriate Republican text messaging, it is truly a wonder that any of us can manage a kiss let alone a sinful romp. And that's not even counting the stultifying, passion-killing wear and tear of childrearing, jobs, housecleaning, laundry and the extra 10, ok 15, pounds some of us are carrying around. Sex is everywhere. And it's exhausting.
The popularity of books such as "Confessions of a Naughty Mommy" and "How to Have Great Sex Using Common Household Items" (not a real book), would lead us to believe that we're all just several sit-ups, an attitude shift, and some edible lube away from experiencing mind-blowing sex with great regularity.
But who are we (parents) kidding? How can we realistically expect to have the energy and drive to carry-on as we did in our 20s when there are so many distinctively unsexy things going on in our lives? I don't think we can.
And I'm well-nigh convinced that the only way out of this asexual diaper-filled morass is to lower expectations, and get used to more meatloaf and less caviar. More convention, less invention. Let's leave the acrobatics to the single and childless --at least until colllege.
