Okay. First, let's make sure we have enough water and nonperishable foods, and send someone down to the bank to get some cash to keep on hand. We're going to need to cover the windows with duct tape and plywood. People, we're going to the mattresses here, because Kidz Bop is going on tour this year, and we must remain vigilant. We must protect our young.
Those of you unfamiliar with the phenomenon of Kidz Bop are either lucky, or you don't occasionally just leave Nickelodeon on during the commercials. It's an insidious marketing scheme that involves a chorus of children singing on—what is it now, twelve CD's? And then there are videos and it's all very catchy and obnoxious and even a preschool child may turn to you and say "This song is good!" and then you realize it's a bunch of nine-year-olds destroying Modest Mouse's "Float On" and you bury your head in your hands and weep. If you have kids in the actual Kidz Bop demographic of 6-11, it may be too late to save your family.
(via Idolator)
