Alexandra Jamison, vegan chef and wife to documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, gave birth to a supersized baby boy last Saturday in Manhattan. Nine pound, 23 inch Laken James was born at home, after his mama labored for 36 hours without any drugs.
Vegan chef… Morgan Spurlock… nine pounds… 36 hours… NO DRUGS… This lady’s fuckin’ nuts!
But she’s not alone. Other homebirthin’ celebrity mamas include Cindy Crawford, Demi Moore, Meryl Street and Penny Lancaster (she’s the latest 7 foot blonde that geezer Rod Stewart has chosen as host body for his spawn). In fact, homebirths are on the rise all across the country.
I entertained the idea of a home birth with my first daughter for… oh, about half a second. Then I read Ayun Halliday’s take on natural childbirth: “it feels like a red-hot bowling ball is hammering to get out of your anus.” My commitment to the endeavor was anesthetized on the spot.
And wouldn’t you know it – that was exactly what my labor felt like! Except my red-hot bowling ball was also covered in acid and broken glass, and was shot out of a cannon into my vagina. When I collapsed on that hospital bed, and felt that epidural come barreling through my bloodstream, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. My kid’s birth was pretty cool, too.
No, in the end, an at-home, drug-free birth was not for me. But were you able to pull it off? If so, I salute you with my ladybits! And I mean that in the nicest way possible.
Share your homebirthin' stories in the comments!
