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• 5 Parenting Hacks You Might Be Embarrassed to Admit You Use

  Certain kinds of parents (ok, people like me) like to show off our successes and humorously and cleverly downplay our conundrums or heartaches.  We chortle over school success, toddlers completing chores, and light but troubling sibling rivalry.  A magazine like Babble is a breath of fresh air because it provides an outlet to unconventional (sometimes controversial) approaches to parenting that many of us might be afraid to admit to others (without the relative safety of an alias or anonymous login). Here are a few that may be embarrassing, but that definitely work:   Read More... Posted Mar 16 2008, 03:16 PM by Rachael Brownell (Redsy) with | with no comments Filed under: discipline, Parent Hacks, fighting, sleep, rewards, tricks, parenting tricks, shoving, pushing

• Dispatch from the Parent Wars: Who is Right?

  Take a look at this picture.  Slim lines, sweaty and taut, probably post-coital.  Perhaps Mom and Dad after fighting about who needs to pick up Billy from daycare?  Likely not...   Everyone knows the only people fighting about parenting philosophies are mommies. Not parents (and certainly not parents who look like this).  Mommy Wars imply that the only people fighting and disagreeing about raising chilluns are women, when in fact the real war is between parents.   Read More... Posted Mar 03 2008, 07:05 PM by Rachael Brownell (Redsy) with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: parents, Babble, mommy wars, fighting, strollerderby, Slate, parent wars, sexy parents

• Ways You're Probably Not Wrecking Your Marriage

  If you're married, you've heard this one: "Don't go to bed mad at your spouse." Were that in fact true, both of us would have had to remain sleepless for the entire month of October 2007 (the month of the Kitchen Project From Hell).  Luckily, turns out it's not.The article talks to marriage experts about the biggest myths out there about marriage and parenting.  The whole "Don't go bed mad" thing? It turns out that if you are both tired (and perhaps are ready to stab each other with a spackling knife) and there's no resolution in sight, it's actually wiser to go to bed, even in different rooms, than to keep fighting on. A decent night's sleep and some time away from each other, and you can see the problem with fresh eyes. Read More... Posted Jan 29 2008, 06:07 PM by AmyinMotown with | with no comments Filed under: parenting, marriage, fighting, sex after kids, marriage myths

• Married Ladies: Speak Up Or Die Young

  The next time your husband gives you a hard time for complaining or fighting, tell him: "I'm saving my life, jerk. Gawd, you are so selfish!" A study of married couples found that women who stay silent during marital tiffs are more likely to die from heart disease and other badness than women who let it all hang out. Interestingly, men had the same life expectancy whether or not they spoke up. Yep, science is telling us that husbands should keep their yaps shut while the ladies rail. I knew it.  While they say marriage is good for the health and life expectancy of folks, it turns out...   Read More... Posted Sep 24 2007, 08:34 AM by Kelly Mills with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: divorce, marriage, fighting, unhappy marriage, men and women

• Who's Afraid of the Mommy Wars?

  Had enough of the mommy wars?  Despite the fact that many of us claim to be all done with the fighting, arguing, judgment, slings and arrows, there seems no way around the fact that motherhood is incendiary.  Newsweek's article "Enough with the Mommy Wars" is case in point.  Mojo Mom takes author Kathleen Deveny to task for neglecting the deeper issues and sticking to the shallow end of mom-theory typified by mommy lit lite. Read More... Posted Aug 13 2007, 11:49 AM by Rachael Brownell (Redsy) with | with 20 comment(s) Filed under: mommy wars, fighting, newsweek, expecting, mojo mom, motherhood under fire, arguing

• Park Bench Parents Not Popular

  Motherhood Uncensored (love the condoms) has a nice rant about those rowdy kids who smack your child and take away their toy while the parents look on benignly. It's a very self-aware send-up, and she has much more rancor for the parents who sit back and mumble, "Now, now, don't hit" than the actual bruisers themselves. These park bench parents practice only the most ineffectual forms of discipline, and she's is tired of it. I know the frustration of watching some aggressive child try a WWF-style smackdown on my child over a dump truck at the park, so I'm completely sympathetic to this. But can I just take a moment to vent about another side of this issue? I'm mom to a very guileless and sometimes bossy child with a big personality. She is quick to respond, and usually does so at a fairly high volume. And I've watched a few kids practice the fine art of psychological warfare on her, and it pisses me off. Some children figure out at a very early age the power of words, and what gets adult attention and what doesn't. I've observed children start to needle my child, knowing that they can get a reaction out of her. Stuff like, "I like so-and-so better than I like you" and "you don't ever get a turn" delivered in a low voice with a smile. Then when the parents rush over to see what the commotion is all about, the child looks up innocently "I just said it wasn't her turn yet" while my kid howls and looks like the crazy one. Those children don't have to use fists to fight, and they get off scot-free most of the time. I know that it's normal to experiment with power, just like it's normal to go through a biting or hitting phase. But I wish some parents were more attuned to the fact that aggression takes many forms, and just because my child yells doesn't mean she's a terror on wheels. She's responding the way we all might want to when someone taunts or intentionally hurts us. I'm sick of having to explain to my child that when another kid is behaving in an evil way, she should be honest and use her strong words to say, "Stop, I don't like it when you say that." Yeah yeah, life skills and so on, but the unfairness of how the sneaky kids just escape parental notice is really awful. I'm tempted to growl at the the little sociopaths myself. Phew. Now I feel a little better too.   Posted May 06 2007, 01:29 PM by Kelly Mills with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: parenting, children, mommy blogs, discipline, bad parenting, fighting

• Effects of Fighting on Children: Not Good

  Argue in front of your kids? You are a bad bad person.  Well, actually, you're human.  And you suck.  But really, some of the fighting (or "rowing" as the Brits say) might be helpful from the "this is how real people live, Junior" department, only if you don't get out of hand.  Chair-throwing anyone? A study in Wales finds that children often blame themselves for parental fighting and as a result kids frequently experience failing grades and exhibit other stress indicators when they are unsure about causes of parental conflict.  Not surprisingly, the less parents communicate effectively with one another and their children, the higher the kids' anxiety. Lesson learned.  If you want your child to do well in school, at least have the decency to shut the bedroom door before you get your yell on. Posted Mar 26 2007, 11:05 AM by Rachael Brownell (Redsy) with | with no comments Filed under: divorce, fighting, stress, stress in kids, effects of fighting on kids, parents fighting

• Gas To Drive Son To Fight: $8. Cheering As Son Beats On Younger Kid: Priceless

  Renee Honnold of Folsom, CA, must've been campaigning hard for the Mom of the Year Award when she chauffered her son to school, played cheerleader as he beat on a smaller kid, and attempted to take down anyone who tried to stop the fight.  Way to go, Mom! A student caught the whole altercation on video, and cop on the scene Kurt Knudsen said "I [had] never seen anything like this... you can hear her on the tape shouting, 'Hit him! Hit him!' The kid [was] throwing serious punches."  A witness parked in a nearby car attempted to help the boy Honnold's son was pinning down and whaling on, but told police that "[Honnold] told me to mind my own business. She was out of control..." Renee was arrested Thursday on suspicion of two felonies, endangering the life or health of a child and criminal conspiracy, as well as contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a misdemeanor. Her son was cited for suspicion of misdemeanor battery. Both boys involved in the fight were suspended for 5 days, and Renee lost the Mom of the Year Award to Britney Spears.  (Better watch your back, Brit...) Posted Mar 10 2007, 09:18 AM by Alisyn with | with no comments Filed under: parents, fighting, California, violence, folsom

• Moms, Daughters Arrested For Brawling At School

  Am I flattering myself in assuming that two moms from Rhode Island took my advice too literally?  Ana Rivera, 44, and Maribel Santiago, 34, were arrested Monday, after being found engaged in a brawl with their teenage daughters, who were well known rivals.  Rivera allegedly drove her daughter - who was supposed to be home on suspension - to school specifically to fight Santiago's daughter.  Santiago claims was on her way to pick her daughter up due to recent threats, and  jumped into the fray in defense of her daughter.  Both moms were booked on assault charges, with the girls being booked on disorderly conduct charges.  Rivera's case is being reviewed by the state's Department of Children, Youth and Families.   I can totally understand a mother's need to physically defend her daughter - but this?  This sounds insane. I can hardly imagine the circumstances that would lead to two mothers being involved in a full-on, G.L.O.W.-style girl fight, handing out beat-downs on school property, side by side with their kids.  If I think about it too much, it makes my heart hurt.    Posted Jan 12 2007, 07:30 PM by Alisyn with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: teenagers, fighting, G.L.O.W., rhode island