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  • Your Teen Really Does Care What You Think - Really!

    They have stinky feet and bad attitudes.  They push you away, even as they wish you closer.  They're complicated, confusing, full of drama and full of themselves - they're teenagers, and they need YOU, perhaps now more than ever.

    The Simmons College Longitudinal Study, which followed 400 people from age 5 (1977) to their mid-30's (today), was conceived to search for predictors of good mental health from early childhood onward.  The study was designed to help caretakers, mental health professionals, and policy makers improve early identification and treatment of mental health issues.  Overwhelmingly, the study shows that feeling valued by their families, and feeling that their opinions are considered within the family, are paramount to teen mental health, greatly reducing the risk for depression and suicide.  The study also shows that adolescents who believe that they can rely on family members for advice, or who have parents or siblings they can view as confidants, have significantly increased chances for good academic achievement and overall healthy social and psychological adjustment.

    Though the teenage years are when kids gravitate more toward peers and independent thought, the Simmons Study formally indicates what parents have assumed for generations:  That even as they transition to adulthood, teens need to feel connected to their families, need the guidance of loving adults, and need to know that, even when they mess up (as they inevitably will), they are still loved and valued. 

    Easier said than done - as the parents of teens everywhere are thinking right now - but just as important as it was to you, when you were their age.

     



  • Sad Kids Need One Parent to Ignore Them

    You know how parenting experts are always advising couples to work together to raise healthy kids – get on the same page, align your philosophies, that kind of thing? Well, when it comes to responding to your precious one’s negative emotions, the more the adult response differs, the better.

    Oh, thank goodness, because my baby daddy and I are all over the map when it comes to the kids’ sad times and daily frustrations.

    According to this study, we’re doing better than fine.

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  • The Preschool Bully: How to Protect Your Child

    bullyThere's a really insightful post up at Mothertalkers about a mom dealing with the problem of the bully at her two-year old's preschool. The poor little boy hates going to school now because of the bully, yet when approached the teacher seemed sympathetic yet basically wrung her hands and did nothing to halt the bullying behavior. It's a horrible feeling when you know there's something happening to your child in a place and situation beyond your control, and the people who are supposed to be protecting your child deny there's even a problem, in fact they then turn it back on you. This happened to me when my older daughter was in 1st grade; the bully was the teacher, and a talk with her and the school's principal did nothing to resolve the situation, and I was even threatened with legal action (that was my daughter's first, last, and only year at that school).

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