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  • New Dads Are Brainless Morons from the Planet Stoopid

    Every once in awhile we run across some precious bit of parenting advice here at the Derby, and while Bill seems a little put out by the catastrophe known as a “cozy hospital bag” for expectant fathers, I think it’s a fantastic idea.

    Yes, as Bill mentions, moms-to-be have to put up with a lot of crap for nine months and then at the end of it all suffer through the blistering pain of childbirth; dads, on the other hand, need to feel like a part of the process, too, hence the need for freshening wipes and an iPod with their favorite songs – because really, what’s a new baby without a soundtrack?

    That’s just a glimpse at the handy checklist from an “Expert Baby Coordinator,” who apparently took the time to remind moms that the people they’re having babies with are just. plain. morons. 

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  • Husband Delivers Baby on Bathroom Floor

    bathroom birthI wish I had a dollar for every I-delivered-my-baby-on-the-bathroom-floor story I've heard. Well, maybe a thousand dollars. I guess there haven't been that many. But here's another one! Poor Jet Malong of Bath, England had to deliver his wife's baby (on the bathroom floor) because medical workers failed to respond to the pager the couple had been given to contact the birthing center when labor started. But things happened quickly, the medics never came, and Mr. Malong had to step up along with their four-year-old son (who has an awesome story to tell in preschool now!).

    All this would be not really a story except that because of cultural preferences, Mr. Malong had had little to do with the pregnancy. In the Phillipines where he is from, he says that men rarely even attend a birth (let alone deliver their own babies!) "out of respect to the woman". Okay. The guy knows his job, which in his mind is to stay out of the way. He must have been freaking out, then! The couple is urging parents to rethink the whole home-birth option, which was encouraged to them because of a shortage in midwives. As a home-birth proponent myself, I hope that women who are low-risk do continue to consider the home birth option. But that's just me.

    But what I really want to know is, why the bathroom floor?  Me, I think I would opt for the kitchen: it's bigger and has snacks.




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