Forget
sack races and girls outings and mommy-and-me music classes: The CW
network has just killed the sweet, innocent joy in every mom-and-girl
activity by taking the most grotesque thing ever and televising it.
Tonight is the premiere of Crowned.
Mom and daughter teams live in a house, hiss at the other family units,
and compete in--ta da!--a mother-daughter beauty pageant. Because
beauty pageants and stage moms and women who fairly panic about losing
their looks aren't nearly sad enough on their own: We have to see a
combination, and then some. As Jessica said, "I just can't wait for the
stretch mark montage where the moms cry about
how their 'badges of honor' have all been worth it now that their
daughters are anorexic and compulsive exercisers with tiaras and
sceptors and then the daughters cry about how they hope they never get
stretch marks like their moms even though their moms are like,
otherwise, totally awesomely cool people." Sure enough.
In case you were wondering what the critics think of the show...
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