There's an interesting article in New York magazine on lying.
While parents cite honesty as the trait they want most in their kids,
there's a few set-ups that encourage telling tales and denying facts.
The author notes that children observe our socially polite "white lies"
and essentially get the lesson, "It's okay to lie to avoid hurting
others," which they then extend to stuff like telling us falsehoods
about their activities to spare our feelings. There's also an
interesting discussion of how teens perceive open conflict with parents
as bringing them closer to the 'rents, while parents view it as
destructive. You can see how this difference in perspective might
encourage kids to at least withhold information. Even tattling gets the
spotlight: We essentially punish kids for being honest about someone
else's behavior, and send the message that we don't care about their
problems.
But are all lies created equal, and are all liars just
doing what they learned by watching you?
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