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  • Apple Gives iPods to Homeless Kids!

    cult of ipodWhen I first read this headline I was all, "aww, Apple cares about us! Apple gives iPods away to poor homeless kids, isn't that wonderful? And oh, didn't a unicorn just float by on that rainbow, all covered in glitter and fairy dust?"

    Yes, but then Cynical Karen stepped in and read the rest of the article: only 100 iPods were given away, and they were chintzy little Nanos, and they were to kids left homeless by the recent fires in California. Which begs the question, And what computer will they use to connect those iPods to and download music? Assuming the computers were in the homes that burned, of course.

    And, oh, the commenters on that original piece got even more cynical:

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  • Greedy, Nerdy Kids Should Have Taste Too

    So your little Scrooge McDuck just wants more and more expensive tech gear for Christmakwanzukkah to toss in his money bin? Well you might as well get him *good* stuff.

    Michael Rose from The Unofficial Apple Weblog has written a gift guide for kids who love shiny silver and white Apple computers. And don't worry, it's not loaded with crazy expensive laptops and iPhones; the priciest item on the list is the iPod nano at $150.

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  • How Many Godknows, Jupiters, and Hatreds Are in Your Kid’s Class?

    In this space, we’ve dealt with the Swedish baby named Metallica, as well as arguments in favor of forming an Office of Nameland Security to bring some order to the unchecked freedom parents have in choosing names and how to spell them.

    I think we’ve all just agreed to disagree and keep writing whatever we please on birth certificates: Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Suri, Pax. Anything less isn't even an option.

    Now comes this story on names that makes Metallica seem like the next most reasonable thing to calling your son Jack.

    How many Godknows, Lovemores, and Honours go to your kid’s preschool?


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  • Vasectomy Bargain: Snip Snip For An iPhone

     iphone Why do I think Steve Jobs is doing a little happy dance right now? Because he's won built such an army of converts, some folks will even let their baby-making plumbing get operated on in exchange for an iPhone. Or at least one guy did. Spouses, take note: if your man refuses to fence in his little swimmers, perhaps you can entice him with the promise of a gadget. That's totally worth it, right? 

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  • Got A Bored Kid on Spring Break? Apple Stores Host Free Youth Workshops

    Got Spring Break coming up?  Anticipating an onslaught of "I'm bo-ored!s" and "There's nothing to do-oo!s" in March or April?  Your local Apple store may be able to help your 8-15 year old kill some of his/her vacation time.  

    Apple stores across the country are now hosting free Youth Workshops - hands on, interactive, open-to-the-public events in which your kid/s can learn how to compose a song, produce a movie, or create a photo album.  Using GarageBand, Apple's music recording and sequencing software,  kids will learn to compose a song with loops, beats, and even their own vocals in the music workshop.  The movie workshop will teach kids how to import footage, crop video clips, and add special effects to produce their own movie with iMovie. The photo workshop shows kids how to edit, print, and share photos and how to make photo albums and slideshows.

    Visit the link above to register yourself, your kid/s, or the whole family.  Happy creating! 


  • Surprise, Surprise: Trix Not Good for Kids

    Some wingnut non-profit in California is up in arms over the fact that food companies display fruit on their packages but don't actually include fruit in the product. Granted, that sounds bad. It would seem obvious that a box with a giant apple or cherry or strawberry on its cover would also include said fruit in the food itself -- despite the fact the box also features a cartoon rabbit or a peg-legged pirate. But whatever.

    "Parents are rushing through grocery stores with their kids, and a lot of them are relying on what they see on the front of the package. Most are too harried to read the fine print," said one of the non-profit people.

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  • iPhone Jones: The 5 Reasons Every Parent Needs One

    Steve Jobs gave the world a sneak-peak of the new and much-anticipated iPhone today during the keynote address of this year's MacWorld conference in San Francisco. Mixed reviews aside, I want. I don't even care what it does. It's thin and it's shiny and it must be mine.

    An iPhone would make my life as a parent so much easier. You don't believe me? Here are five reasons why (as my toddler would say) I neeeeed it.

        1. It has a 320 x 480 touch screen, built-in wi-fi, Bluetooth compatibility, and a full-touch keyboard. Now while I am waiting to pick up my daughter in school or sitting in the car with a toddler passed out in her carseat, I can (steal wireless and) check email or post to my blog without going blind. Also, when I go to the park, I'll have something to do cuz ain't nothing more boring than having to watch my kids go down the curly slide for the thousandth time look like all the dads.
        2. It has a 2 megapixel camera and the high end model boasts 8GBs of storage. That's plenty of space to store my grainy pictures of soccer dads losing their shit, nannies behaving badly, or cheerleaders acting like strippers...and photos of my kids, of course.
        3. There's no crap specialized mobile phone OS; this baby runs on Mac OS X. Have you tried browsing with the phone you have now? I'm all for anything that removes stress and frustration from my life. And (bonus!) an exclusive partnership with Cingular means I can trade in my shitty Razr (hopefully?) and keep my number.
        4. iTunes integration. Music anytime, anywhere without having to carry an extra gadget. The iPhone will even display album artwork of songs being played. Kids acting up in a restaurant? Chill out to Laurie Berkner or listen to an audio book.
        5. It's a video iPod, too, and you know what that means: "Dick in a Box" anytime, anywhere.* 

        * Okay, that last one might not make my parenting life easier, but I wouldn't mind being in the middle of a tasty JT-Andy Samberg sandwich...even if they are chanelling Color Me Badd. Hey, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.


      • Can I Get a What-What?: Schools Turn To Hip-Hop to Teach Kids About Music

        hip hop graphicWhen I was a kid, we had band and orchestra class in school.  If we wanted to play an instrument, regardless of income or background, we could learn.  Nowadays, unless (public) schools raise their own funds to pay for them, music classes are almost non-existent. Low-income schools have been hit particularly hard by budget cuts, and many feel pressure to focus resources on preparing students for standardized tests.

        But for a select group of kids, things are about to change. "Lower-income kids across the country will soon be getting a free music education through hip-hop and other pop tunes they can relate to. Boston's Berklee College of Music is reaching out to (several) cities with a 15-year-old program that's made instrumental and vocal music accessible to underprivileged local children."

        With technology provided by Apple Computer, Berklee alumni will teach students how to play individual sections of their favorite songs and then to play along with "special computer mixes" of them. If they are learning how create pop songs, I wonder if they'll spend the bulk of their time mastering Ableton Live and learning how pitch-correction software works. (Hi, Asslee Simpson! I'm talkin' about you!)

        Thirty-five kids wanting to learn how to play "I Wanna Love You," fighting over who gets to be Akon and who gets to be Snoop. I hope the Berklee alums learn how to channel Suge Knight before setting foot in the classroom. Still, I hope the idea catches on.

        [via WIFR]



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