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• Laughing At, Not With, Yo Momma

  It'll be years before I send text messages to my kids and a cold day in hell when I exchange them with my own mother. Not that I'm opposed to it, I just can't see it happening, what with her arthritis and the fact that she never remembers to turn on her cell phone. But we do email. So I totally get what inspired this great new blog/side project by an editor over at an SD fave blog, Jezebel. Called Postcards From Yo Momma, it's a collective demonstration of the universal dorkiness of moms. And I know we're the cool generation of parents. But I suspect I'll fit the bill in 2022. Sigh.   Read More... Posted Mar 31 2008, 05:36 PM by Madeline Holler with | with no comments Filed under: computers, moms, Mothering, postcards from yo momma, dorks

• Which Age Do You Like Most -- Newborns, Toddlers, Teens?

  I totally get how mothering newborns can be a real downer, but truth be told, I loved the entire baby phase with both my kids. From newborn to that first birthday, I had little to complain about -- that includes the crappy sleep, feeling like a milk truck, the soft belly (oops, still got it), the showerless weeks. Loved it. Then the kids turned 1 and sure, still nice, but that was when the whole "mommy" and "precious baby" thing starts to wear thin. But the kids still napped, so I persevered.  And then.   Read More... Posted Mar 11 2008, 05:02 PM by Madeline Holler with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: parenting, newborn, teens, toddlers, Mothering, baby phase

• Tips for Better Parenting (Are You Reading This, Britney?)

  I have lots of New Year's resolution -- some for others, the rest for me. There's so much I'd like to change, I even made categories for myself: health (daily flossing); career (get organized); family (more travel); wealth (more aggressive investing). And, of course, the biggie: parenting (be a better mom). Oh, but what does that last one mean, "better mom." More homebaked pastries? A higher-end laundry detergent? Patiently listening to stories after the lights go out at bedtime that never, ever, ever end (ever)?  No? None of that? Really? Not according to ...   Read More... Posted Jan 01 2008, 12:37 PM by Madeline Holler with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: mothers, New Year's, resolution, Britney Spears, Mothering, tips and advice, better parenting, parents magazine

• Mom Jeans, Mom Genes: You Either Have Them or You Don’t

  Don't let the latest genetic research get your mom jeans in a knot: you might not have a natural drive to be a mom. Apparently, some women’s desire to procreate is as genetically programmed as their green eyes or deeply carved dimples. I guess the rest of the moms are just faking it. A genetic predisposition is the best researchers could come up with for the fact that many women in wealthy nations are choosing not to leave their legacies in the form of little packets of their genetic information, also known as children. Instead, these modern women want their legacy to be in the form of career, fame and fortune (narcissistic hussies!). But don’t worry. Those women lacking a “mom gene” won’t be around for long. Read More... Posted Sep 26 2007, 09:24 AM by Madeline Holler with | with no comments Filed under: research study, Mothering, only children, good mothers, mom jeans, gene science

• Balancing Praise: Let's Not Celebrate Mediocrity

  Emily Bazelton ponders how we praise our children wondering what kind of praise is valuable and what kind is unhelpful. Current opinion looks down on parents creating situations where even the most benign accomplishments, like 'graduating' from 5th grade, are lavishly praised as true accomplishments. A study of college students given a personality test for narcissism each year shows that today's students are 30% more narcissistic than the students of 1982. If these students were actually more self confident, this would be wonderful news but Bazelton says kids know that graduating from 5th grade isn't really all that difficult to do and so they eat up the praise but it's not making a generation of more confident adults. Bazelton argues the kind of praise we give our kids is the problem, not the quantity of it. She points out studies by Claude Steele and the New York magazine piece by Carol Dweck, "How Not To Talk To Your Kids." I agree with the piece that there's a balance between truly believing your child is a version of your best self and encouraging them to live up to that and on the other hand raising a child into an adult who believes showing up to work on time is worthy of praise from a boss. It's a tricky balance and that's why I'm cancelling that "You've Finished Third Grade Gala" I was planning for June. Posted May 13 2007, 08:03 AM by Melissa Summers with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: kids, families, Mothering, praising children

• Cocktail Playdates: What's the Big Deal?

  Did you catch the Today Show this morning?  Melissa Summers was on with Meredith Viera discussing the "cocktail playdate" phenomenon. When Melissa told me she was going on the show, I was worried that the producers would try to paint those of us that might like to have a cocktail or glass of wine at playdates (no, not every one, and not at 9:00 AM although some days...) as a bunch of irresponsible alcoholics, but my impression was that it was a very balanced segment. Read More... Posted Jan 26 2007, 01:15 PM by Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) with | with 19 comment(s) Filed under: parenting, The Today Show, Meredith Viera, Mothering, momtini, Melissa Summers, moms drinking, Suburban Bliss, cocktail playdate