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• Strollerderby Finishline: Hell in a Handbasket Edition

  And god looked down and saw upon the land a derby of strollers, and he said it was good. And just. And wise. And slightly alcoholic. And then the derby started questioning things, and it all pretty much went down hill from there. Mom strippers. Zoloft snorters. Creation Museums? What the hell has become of us this week? We're all going to hell, but thankfully a few of you fine commenters are coming with us. And offering rides. So, so kind. First, I go and open my big mouth and say that a "museum" dedicated to Creationism is full of more than just audio guides. Alisyn tries her best to take the heat from the inferno of hell off my shoulders, but, alas, I think she'll just make more enemies. Oh well, at least Harry Potter will be close to Disneyworld -- the other heathen bastion. Read More... Posted Jun 02 2007, 04:46 PM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with no comments Filed under: Babble, strollerderby, blogging, bloggers, Stroller Derby, Babble Rules!, Finish Line

• Strollerderby Finishline: One Free Birth at a Time

  Let's be honest here. You're not reading this. You're one day into the summer's first three-day weekend, and the last thing on your mind is parenting. That's why the kids are playing in a van down by the river, or whichever body of water you've taken them to this fine weekend, while you're back at the hotel-lodge-trailer-tent-wherever giving a whole new definition to the term Wi-Fi -- and it doesn't mean finding a connection to read this. Am I bitter? Just because we couldn't manage to slip away for one day? One, lousy day? No, not at all. So if, like me, you're stuck at home with a sick kid and waiting desperately for date night and wanting something to do, thankfully there's always the good ol' SD to keep you company. Though it sounds like a horrible, itchy disease, you know it as something else: the best in parenting writing. Read More... Posted May 26 2007, 03:20 PM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with no comments Filed under: Babble, strollerderby, Stroller Derby, babble best, Babble Rules!, Finish Line

• Hitting the Bottle: "Sleep Through the Night"

  It's 11 a.m. on a Friday, and after a long week caring for the brood, I don't have to tell you what that means. But I will anyway, because after a few of these, you won't be able to shut up either. Then, suddenly, you'll be out -- for the entire night. Goodbye Dora -- hell-O weekend! Thank god for momtails, er, dadtails. I mean dadtails. The best part about the latest drink in Babble's "Hitting the Bottle" series is the sheer number of test runs it required to perfect. But I think I got it, finally, so without further ado, here it is. The "Sleep through the Night." Read More... Posted May 25 2007, 11:01 AM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: Babble, alcohol, bottles, Babble Rules!, hitting the bottle

• Babble Talk: La Dolce Vita con Famiglia

  After getting hitched on a small island in Greece, my wife and I spent our honeymoon in Italy -- hiking through small towns and drinking wine for five straight weeks. It's a fantasy of ours to bring our daughter there someday and show her all the people we met, all the romantic villages we explored as newlyweds, all the hotel rooms where we ... well, she'll figure it out someday. We've put it off, however, because while we might enjoy a tour of a prosciutto factory or the romance of a truffle hunt, Emmeline would probably be bored to tears and tantrums. Thanks to a handy new Tuscany travel guide from Babble, we may not have to wait as long as we thought. From easy bike rides (I would never, ever bike on those crazy two-lane roads where people drive 90 mph, however) to fantastic public parks, the Babble guide to Tuscany offers a million things to do for families in five towns -- from Lucca to Sienna. If you're planning a trip in the near future or just want to relive a little romance with a tike in tow, check it out. Posted May 16 2007, 02:11 PM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with no comments Filed under: travel, babies, travelling with kids, tours, babble talk, Babble Rules!

• Babble Talk: To Swaddle or Not to Swaddle?

  It was about 4 in the morning when I first considered using duct tape on my daughter. She had, finally, learned to break free from her swaddle, not only earning her the all-too-cheesy nickname 'Dini but also moving her one step closer to the hard knock life. The kid simply would not sleep without a full swaddle, and it was driving us mad. A little duct tape around her mid-section, I figured, wouldn't hurt her. Would it? In the end, I was too tired to make it all the way to the kitchen for the tape, so I just readjusted her swaddle and went back to sleep -- hoping for at least 10 minutes of peace before she broke free again. Still, the swaddle was great while it lasted -- allowing her to sleep soundly for much longer stretches than we could have hoped for. We were turned onto the swaddle by the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" (which actually included an anecdote about a dad who used tape) but didn't do much research beyond that. Turns out pediatricians approved anyway. According to a new Babble survey, 80 percent of pediatricians say the swaddle is just dandy, while 19 percent really couldn't care less either way. What do you think? According to the poll, 77 percent of parents say "yes." Cast your vote here. Posted May 14 2007, 02:19 PM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: baby, Babble, sleep, sleeping, babble talk, Babble Rules!

• Finish Line: Drunken Parents Rule the World

  Bear with me -- or is it bare? I can't never remember -- but I am two "choking hazards" into Strollerderby's latest and best creation, so this post may be a little more unintelligible than all my others. (Didn't think that was possible!) The point is, there is reason to celebrate. Strollerderby rocked the sandbox this week -- and I feel like sharing. First, and sticking with the vein of parents who like a stiff drink, Sarah puts the smackdown on the most ridiculous anti-teen drinking campaign ever. What won't work for teens, she says, will cause a laugh riot for their parents. And when we're not smacking down stupid campaigns, we're smacking down bullies. Karen provides some excellent tips for beating bullies -- even when your school doesn't do a damn thing to help. CityMama Stefania warns parents about a looming storm this summer ... when the new Apple iPhone debuts. Turns out kids are already gabbing about the thing and parents are about to be hit up for $500 big ones. Get a job, she says. Agreed. Alisyn provides the big ideas this week with a touching post on gender and identity and how, sometimes, one doesn't determine the other. A must read. So get crackin'! SD newcomer Jessica Ashley starts out strong with a scathing report on rampant child abuse. Everywhere, it seems, children are being forced to wash their hands! The humanity of it all! When she's not using your favorite kid names for her car, Patti comes to the conclusion that you just can win in the name game: "Just pick a name you like, and don't tell anyone so you won't have to listen to them try to talk you out of it." Again, agreed. 100 fuggin percent. And CrankMama Rachael again very astutely -- and very hotly, I might add -- gets at the crux of the hipster parenting phenom and finds there is, gasp, other shit to worry about than $800 strollers and lame-ass TV shows. My oh my, it was nice knowing you Pierre aka MetroDad -- but mocking Scientology? I just don't have the, um, guts -- even if the idea of a desperate Katie Holmes using her daughter's birthday party to send for help is kind of funny. OK, really, really funny. And finally, I tell the world that a kidless, college-age know-nothing is, well, a kidless college-age know nothing. Except I do it with panache ... and a "choking hazard!" Mmmmm. That's good parenting. Posted Apr 14 2007, 11:26 AM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Cry it Out, Sarah and the Goon Squad, CrankMama, Karen Murphy, Alisyn Cobb, Patti Nichols, MetroDad, Babble Rules!, city mama

• Bourbon Baby

  It's no surprise that I hate UrbanBaby (the parenting website with a self-proclaimed "cosmopolitan sensibility.") If UrbanBaby were a parent, they'd be the annoying ones cooing all the time about how having a baby is just so "peachy keen" and how they never realized just how gosh darn jolly life could be until they had children. They'd also be the ones buying pink cashmere sweaters and baby blue jumpers for their precious progeny. Their message boards are even more annoying. Listening to the babbling of idle SAHMs makes me want to puke. All day long, they talk of spending $150 for b-day presents for a friend's kid, guilting their husbands into buying push presents, or giving expensive gifts to their kids' teachers. Are you fucking kidding me? So why am I writing about them? Because their daily e-mail today was a list of professional photographers in the NYC-area who specialize in capturing those "precious moments." When the StrollerDerby crew saw the subject heading, we had an informal contest to guess which mushy words/phrases UrbanBaby would use in the descriptions: whimsical, sassy, celebration of life, ethereal, the Hamptons. Want to hear something hilarious? We were right on the money. Aren't you glad you read Babble? Posted Apr 11 2007, 05:11 PM by MetroDad with | with 10 comment(s) Filed under: Urban Baby, Babble Rules!