Do You Leave Your Kids Alone in the Car?
When my oldest son was a baby, I sometimes stopped at Blockbuster with him in the car. If he was sleeping, I would use the automatic car starter (a Hanukkah present from years past) to start the car, turn on the heat, then lock the doors (keys in hand). With baby Declan tucked safely inside, I was free to browse the New Releases, unencumbered by my offspring.
What the hell was I thinking?
My sister and I have argued about this before: I am a reformed leaver of kids in the car, she a proud leaver of kids in the car. She doesn’t actually do it often, but she is a vocal proponent of it–under the right circumstances.
My sister’s also a devoted poker player, but not even she would do what this Pennsylvania woman did.
Police say that 26-year-old Naomi Bryant left her two children in the car for two hours so she could gamble. That’s right, Naomi left her 6- and 8-year-old daughters in the car while she went into the casino, from 7:37am to 9:30am last Thursday. What, you thought kids were in school at that time on a weekday?
For the record, my sister insists that she would only leave her kids in the car (with the doors locked and windows up, natch) if the car was within her sight at all times and the weather fairly temperate–not too hot or too cold inside the car. She’s not too particular about where she does it, though; she’s okay with it at the bank (when you really need to deposit your paycheck) or at Starbucks (when you really need a double latte).
But not at the casino. As for Naomi Bryant, she’s been charged with two counts of endangering the welfare of children.
Do you ever leave your kids alone in the car?
Related Posts:
- Can Autism Be Diagnosed in Infancy?
- More Stuff Hip, Urban Parents Like
- Graphic Video Aims to Scare Kids Out of Teen Pregnancy
- What Happens When Looney-Warde Marries Butts-McCracken?
- Mom Spends $20,000 to Look Like Daughter
I will now leave my kids for a few minutes at a time now that my oldest is of babysitting age. She has been thru the Red Cross Babysitter class and is certified in CPR. Would I ever do it when they were little…NO!!! My husband did once and learned his lesson very quickly when I found out. To many things can happen to leave little kids in the car. It is so not worth it. It can be a pain to drag around your kids but it beats not having them! I have 4 kids so yes I know it can be hard, but what would REALLY be hard is living with yourself if something happened to your kids and it was your fault!
to Andrea: I’m so sorry you had to go through that. How horrible. I’m fuming as I type… what the hel! is wrong with people today???? Why is calling the cops instead of TRYING TO HELP the first and only response to this situation???
My son is five. He asks to stay in the car when we run errands. I let him IF:
1. I can see him the whole time.
2. It’s between say 50 and 80 degrees
3. Car is off, I have the keys.
Besides giving us both a break, I believe what he gains from these little jaunts (self confidence, risk assessment skills AND the assumption the the world is basically a good and decent place) is worth it. Period.
Anyone wishing to give their kids more freedom without freaking out should check out Lenore Skenazy’s Free Rang Kids blog.
I ran into the store because I forgot my wallet today and a lady called the police on me. I was searching everywere in the store for my wallet..my son was sleeping in the car (windows rolled down and the weather was neither hot nor cold..) I had my infant daughter with me while I searched..A police office came to the scene and told me that he has kids and knows how difficult it can be to tote them around but I shouldn’t leave my son even for a second in the car. I didn’t get in trouble (thank god) but there was an accident that he needed to tend to that was a little more important I guess…the lady who called the police was scared for me and my son and told the police office ‘Her husband is away and she has no family here..please don’t arrest her..i just want her to know how dangerous that was”…thank god..it could have been a lot worse..I’m NEVER leaving my kids in the car again…that was so embarrassing and stupid..
I am the mother of 6 and all my children have been left in the car at one time or another while I…
Walk another child to the gate at school
Pay for Gas
Throw a movie in the outside slot at blockbuster
Make a deposit at an ATM
Grab a pizza from Papa Murphys
Run back into my House for something
When they are sleeping when we get home
The van is always in sight and earshot and I have the keys with me.
For those of you who would never do it…good for you! But please do not think we are bad mothers because we do it differantly.
Each of us have a differant standard of care and as long as the children are safe and look after then let it go.
Personally I breastfeed and know its the best but I would not think a mother who formula feeds her child was irresposiable even though there have been deaths attributed to allergic reaction and poisoning with formula feeding.
We all do the best we can with the information and knowlage we have.
Reality is bad things happen no matter what.
Dont you think Elizabeth Smarts family thought she was safe IN HER HOME IN A ROOM WITH HER SISTER NEXT TO HER??? You bet they did but still she was taken.
We can not keep an eye on our children every second of everyday, but we can do everything in our power to create safety and to some of us that means, car in sight and gone only for a minute or 2.
You can’t live your lives in fear that if you turn your head for a momment, something bad will happen to your children. It’s highly unlikely that if you run in to pay for your gas for two minutes, someone will come along and take your child. In Europe as they go in for a cup of coffee, they park their strollers outside with the kids still in them. Kids in a locked car with no heat or cold danger will be fine for a few momments. I would do it if I was sure no one would call child protective services.
Amen, Eric.
Do you all realize that it would only take 30 seconds for violent criminal to smash your window and kidnap your child, less than 3 seconds for a psychopath to pull out a gun and shoot your child, and less than .000003 of a second for lightning to stike your child? Let’s get real. If you want to spend 5 minutes strapping and unstrapping you child everytime you have to run into the store, I’m not going to fight you over it. Let’s not castigate people for their decision to leave their kids in the car for 2 minutes at a gas station.
I always feel guilty but I do leave my kids in the car if I am only a few steps away. For instance, if I can park directly in front of the ATM I do it there. I also leave them in the car to put library books in the outside drop box or return videos in the outside drop box. If it is really hot, I leave the car running so the air conditioner is on. Most of the time I try really hard to only go to gas stations with ‘Pay at the Pump’ and drive-up ATMs. It is really, really difficult to use an ATM with a toddler squirming around and sometimes you just have to have cash.
Do you all realize that it takes less then 2 minutes for a car theif to steal your car, less then 5 minutes for a tow truck driver to hook up your car and drive off with your child in the back (yeah it happened), and less then 6 minutes for your child to suffocate and die in a too hot car? I have left my child in the car while I pump gas….but I use a card so I am right there….I have left her there to grab the mail from the mailbox, again right there….I would never leave her in the car to run into the store (wth is that, Shannon? Are you nuts?) Like Karen said, what if something happened to YOU? NO ONE knows your children are outside!
And what do you do if you are a parent alone with twin infants and are physically able to carry only one child from the car to the house at a time? Every time I need to get the kids to/from the car, am I guilty of a misdemeanor?
I am another never left them, never will, and here is a very good reason. My boss’ daughter pulled up directly infront of the Chinese Take out place, parking next to an empty police cruiser. She left her two boys (2 and 4) ran in picked up her order and ran back out, probably LESS then 2 mins. The officer was stnding next to her car, read her the riot act and issued her a summons. She had to go to family court, pay for a lawyer, and attend two weeks of parenting classes. Yep, just not worth it. You can check your states law here http://www.kidsandcars.org/legislation.html
What are you people CRAZY? Leaving your children even for a minute in a car running? Like Karen suggested, what if you got held up, long line , etc. no one knows your child is alone with the car running nor does your child! You moms that do this need to re-think what you are doing even if it’s for a minute! That one minute is not worth a lifetime of your kid missing on the back of a milk jug!!!
Thanks for the added worry, Karen
Seriously though, I had never thought of that. I never leave my daughter in the car alone, as tempting as it is, but now I have another reason to take her with.
i agree that if the car is in line of sight, and it’s 2 minutes – it MIGHT not be terrible… but have any of you considered that while you are in the CVS, gas station, etc., something could happen to you – faint, heart attack, other unforeseen event – while authorities are attending to you – NOONE knows your children are outside the building in a car? most people think nothing will happen to the children, but what if mommy can’t return to the car?
I’ll leave my 16 month old daughter in the car to run into the ATM or back into the house if I forget something. In extreme weather I leave the car running and lock the doors (my key comes out of the ignition when the car is running), if not, I just roll the windows down.
She also has no clue that she could probably get herself out of her carseat, so that helps. When she gets older I might not be so ready to leave her in there for a minute or two.
I do it to run across the street to throw something in the mailbox or jump out to the ATM. I lock the doors and turn off the car. Not sure why you would leave the car on or the keys in. I guess the fear is that someone would car jack the kids or pull them out of the car? Either way, with the car locked with them inside they’re probably safer than if I’m standing next to a stroller with them strapped in. Let’s face it, if you have two kids and someone comes along, picks up one and starts running what could you do? you’d have to carry your remaining kid while running after the person who took them. The likelihood is that I wouldn’t catch anyone running with either of my kids in my arms.
See, I live in Texas, so here I think I would be way more afraid to leave kids in the car with the windows up- temperate for us is mid-80s on a good day. Now it’s June? It’ll be in the 90s and up til October.
My daughters are almost 3 and almost 5. We live in a small, safe, family-friendly college town. In the past month I have started leaving them in the car on an occasional basis for a few minutes at a time while I run into a store or gas station to grab something. The car is turned off, the weather is fine, the windows are up, and neither girl knows how to undo her carseat strap buckles to get out of her seat. I can’t imagine anything unsafe about this situation. I’m never gone more than 2-3 minutes and I don’t worry about it.
School was already out for the summer last Thursday.
I’ve done it at the gas station, twice. That’s it.
And now they are old enough to want to “play” car, so my greatest fear would be them putting the car in drive and it actually rolling somewhere.
i have done it a few times, but only under two circumstances. the first is at my moms house. if i am running in to get something, or drop something off, i really dont want to battle through her two dogs while holding my daughter. so i leave her in the car (running) in the driveway while i run in.
the other one is at the gas station. i figure if i park at the closest pump, and i am only inside for 30 seconds, she will be fine. again another situation where it would be more of a hassle to unstrap her, carry her in then back out and re strap her.
however, other than that i dont think i could do it. if i start to think about doing it, my head fills with all the things that could happen if i did. so other than those two situations, its just not going to happen.