Strollerderby

I agree with your commentary.  One thing I'll say (not in defense, just to clarify) about Jon is that he's something like 32 (not 40ish) and one thing that pattered across my narrow mind when this story first broke was that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't ready to get married ten years ago (sorry, my People mag keeps me a little too informed about this stuff.)  Maybe there's a youthful Jon trapped inside father-of-eight Jon who regrets tying himself down at an age when most guys are still bed-hopping.  Again, I do not excuse him - he made a vow and a commitment for better or worse.  He is a wuss.

I agree that they both have ownership over this situation.  Jon makes a lot of comments about wanting to be free or feeling like he's trapped.  But I don't think Kate is doing "everything she can" to provide for her kids.  If they'd put the money away when they first started, they could have retired by now to work on their marriage.

And Jon did work during the first season or so.

I don't excuse him either, but I also feel compelled to clarify that Jon Gosselin only quit his full-time IT job 2 years ago. He worked full-time and Kate was home full-time until the sextuplets were 3 or so. That has been made clear in all the books, documentaries, and early episodes of the series.

Secondly, I have many problems with this saga, but I think it's unfair to vilify this couple for using fertility treatments and ending up with 8 children in total. If you are familiar with the details of their history, you know that they were a young married couple who desperately wanted a baby but were unable to do so due to infertility. They had 1 IUI (a relatively noninvasive treatment, nothing like in vitro, and one which very often results in one baby) and ended up with twins. Two years later, they strongly wanted a sibling--ONE sibling--for their twins, and underwent another IUI. They had no reason to believe this IUI would result in 6 embryos--it was truly a freak occurrence.

I don't think there's anything too terrible or unusual about desiring 3 kids, which is what this couple actually wanted. Once faced with 6 embryos, they reportedly were devastated and shocked, but their religious beliefs dictated that they refuse to selectively terminate. I don't agree with those beliefs, but I don't think it's my place to tell anyone else when it's right to selectively terminate in a surprise situation like this. When I read their story, I actually felt really sorry for them: can you imagine wanting 3 children but ending up with 8, because you honestly felt it would be morally unimaginable to terminate any of the embryos? That, to me, sounds like a nightmare, and I truly can't imagine how I'd behave in that kind of stressful situation.

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Did the 10 minutes you watched include the ugly scene in Toys R Us? Because that's the kind of example that Kate set and it got progressively worse, and stuff like that is what catches people's attention.

If a man had treated his wife even once the way Kate consistently treated Jon, women everywhere would (rightly) be howling abuse. And if that were the case, would someone who says, "The woman is responsible for the way she is being treated by her husband, the abuser," be applauded or shouted down?

I totally agree that they're both famewhores who are selling out their kids - I'll even go so far as to say that I believe these two people should never have gotten married or had kids in the first place - but Kate's roll as monster is not unwarranted. She was aware all along how she came off on TV, and she has said that she would make no apologies for it. Now she is feeling the consequences of HER actions.

I just have one little thing to add....When they signed up for the show, they signed up for a profile of their lives on The Learning Channel, not E Entertainment or VHI. It was hardly the network it has seemingly become. I can't imagine someone from A Baby Story ending up in People magazine. It feels to me like they got swept up the current. Sad.

And by the by, anyone who has been married with kids for more than 10 years, that says that it's not a mindf**k is a liar or lucky.  

I don't even LIKE Kate (although I admit I used to - the first season of the show was adorable) but some of the examples of her "terrible" behavior are ridiculous. Going to the store without her children? If that's a crime, lock me up - and my baby's only 2 months old. People who report she wasn't grateful "enough" when she got donations from the community or the church? Who gets to decide what "enough" is? And all the articles and websites that complain about Jon & Kate accepting freebies need to just shut up already. Their free stuff isn't hurting anyone and most of it actually benefits the children, who are sadly the real victims of this whole situation. I think it's time for the show to be over, both parents to focus on their family...and the rest of us to MYOB.

Eh, they're both famewhores.  One's passive aggressive, the other is outright aggressive.  But neither has a nice personality it appears.  

And "if" I were married to someone like Jon...doesnt apply, because I wouldn't...

Can someone please explain to me what they think these two (relatively unaccomplished people) could do to make enough money to provide everything 8 children need?  Once they ended up with 8, there are very few jobs that will compensate well enough and I'm pretty sure neither of them have the resume to get them those positions.  Not many people I know who need the money go around saying, "I'll take that lower paying job vs. this higher paying one".  Once you decide to work, generally you attempt to get paid the most you can get.  Especially if you'd have to take two jobs to make as much money as you'd get at one...even if the one isn't as ideal.

As much as Kate is a total bitch, there's a part of me that can relate to her. My husband has a much stronger character than Jon, but there are times when I'm making dinner and cleaning (after coming home from my full-time job), running around getting stuff done, with a toddler on my hip...while he plays Xbox. That kind of thing is enough to make me go completely insane and usually leads to a "come to Jesus" moment with my husband. Jon has always seemed (from the beginning of the show) to be one of those people who really has to be given specific instruction for everything, because otherwise he'll just be sitting around doing nothing. Again, I don't think Kate is an easy person to be around, but he did choose to marry her and now everyone feels sorry for him and blames her for everything.  Ultimately, the only people who know the truth about their relationship is them. I'm not defending Kate. Just saying I could see how being around someone like that all day and night would bring out the worst in my personality and make me aggressive.

"Can someone please explain to me what they think these two (relatively unaccomplished people) could do to make enough money to provide everything 8 children need?"

Lots of people have eight children (or more.)  It's less common in our generation but just one or two generations back families of eight, ten, or even twelve weren't uncommon.  As a nurse and an IT worker, they made more money than 3/4 of the country.  Granted, Kate would have had to accept the "inferior" help from the members of her church and family, and she wouldn't have been able to dress the kids in identical designer clothes, but they could have taken care of those children without exploiting them.  And at this point, with all the money they've made from the show and their book deals, advertising contracts, and million-dollar house, they absolutely could.  At this point it's all about greed and fame-whoring.

I'm totally with you. I really don't get why people are making Jon out to be the victim here. If I was married to that passive aggressive, lazy wuss and had eight children, I would act exactly the way Kate does. If she says nothing, she's a doormat. If she tries to get him to step up and do his job as a father, she's a bitch.

I agree they're famewhores, but I somehow ended up in the camp of defending them, too--Kate in particular. My problem with all the Kate Hate is that a year ago, this family was loved by Americans. Now all of a sudden there's rumors of cheating and the whole country simultaneously turned against them. It seems hypocritical to me. The people who scream out examples of their bad behavior are the same people watching the show every week and buying the books. If you hate them, why watch? If you disagree with their parenting or spousal habits, then turn it off. If these people weren't giving the Gosselins all this attention, nobody would care about them!

It was like the media flipped a switch and America jumped on the bandwagon. Is it just the cheating that bothers you? If so, then why are you screaming about all the rest, such as Kate's attitude (which she's had the whole time... I think?), Kate's travels, Kate's hair, Kate's wardrobe... you see the pattern.

amen.

Enjoyed reading all the comments but had to add my own. I am so glad not everyone is rooting for poor Jon.  Anyone who is married long enough - without having 8 kids - knows you have to work at it to stay strong.  

When the show first aired, I watched it every week but quit when it got to be repetitive not to mention he incessant screaming.  However, with all the media frenzy I started watching again just to catch up what I had missed. It saddens me to see just how much they did LOVE each other; there was no hint of things to come.  

I think John got married too soon, had too many kids & now feels he's missed something so he's trying to catch up. Basically, a mid-life crisis 10 years early.

Would like to see how long anyone would continue to be supportive of someone who does absolutely NOTHING unless told to. Remember at the beginning he went off to work while she was surrounded by screaming kids.  As far as the $5 allowance the media keeps harping about - I guarantee that was BEFORE they started making money. Daily St--bucks would not have been in our budget, period.  Have you seen the "toys" he has now??

Let's not forget how everyone is nitpicking everything from her hair to her shoes but never look in the mirror.  I know I looked better 10 years into our marriage, a bit frayed after the kids, then back to taking care of myself once the kids were older leaving me with more time.  My husband is in politics & absolutely hate not being able to go anywhere with him w/o everyone monopolizing my time with him on the rare occasions we go out so I can identify why she has ppl coming to her house now. But, hey, she does it because she's a bitch.  As far as the freebies - a show does not go by that she does not thank the corporations and/or the fans.

If she IS having an affair with her bodyguard so what; at least she's discrete instead of bringing the sunbather in the FRONT yard while the wife is out working.

If TLC is smart, they won't drop her because the media has decided she's a bad person & the kids are being exploited. Heaven forbid we trade them in for the Octomom because she is a much better role model??!!  I guess getting a "manager" as soon as she had her brood doesn't make her a famewhore.

I'll get off my soapbox now & let someone else have the floor.

I have watched the show sporadically since it began, and I do agree with your post.  I have always though Kate was a serious mega-bitch and Jon was just a pussy-whipped wuss.  However, I too began to see kate's side when the season premier aired.  It's true what she said - even if she is the biggest bitch out there he is still responsible for his own actions.  

Her pain really came through, and it was hard for me to watch.  I've recently been through some trouble with my own husband - he wasn't having an affair, but he was addicted to drugs.  Everything that Kate said I had felt. I know those feelings were real since those same feelings were close to my surface not so long ago.   It's about rejection, humiliation, uncertainty, insecurity, etc.  So yeah, Kate is a bitch, but she didn't deserve this - hopefully she has learned from her own mistakes.

I agree with Knitty.  They could have supported their kids with their jobs.  They wouldn't be rich, but that is part of the "religious conviction" isn't it?  I don't really blame them for trying to do the show, but once it becomes toxic, it's time to stop.  

Jon may be a bit lazy, but the way she talks to him is degrading.  I just don't believe in talking to your husband that way no matter how mad you are.  That's what starts the downward spiral.  They let the show come before their marriage.

One thing that I wanted to comment on was that they didn't "abuse fertility treatment" as the author suggested. As the husband of a wife who has done some small fertility treatment, we looked into various options and what the processes were. Jon and Kate did an IUI procedure where the woman takes medication that stimulates her ovaries to produce more eggs and increase the chances of conception. The IUI is the process of inserting the sperm directly into the uterus and then the eggs are left to fertilize.

The reason so many babies are possible with this procedure is because the eggs are left to fertilize on their own. With IVF the eggs are pre-fertilized and there is a known limit to how many eggs and babies could come from it. With an IUI things are left to chance so there could be one baby or six. This aspect of chance is why my wife and I weren't interested in going this route if needed.