Rebecca Kelly feels very sorry for today's youth. We had it better. According to her, "back in the good old days, being a kid was awesome, but now today's
youth is choking on yuppified bulls*** like organic nonsense, parental
controls, and more."
1) Food is No Fun
When we were kids we had lunches packed with Fruit By the Foot,
Teddy Grahams, and Squeeze Its. Now kids get organic crap like fruit
leathers, vegetable-flavored “chips” that have the texture of packing
cellophane, and sugar-free, 100% juice. What ever happened to “3%
juice” juice that you could squeeze out of a cartoon face? Sure, some
kids nowadays still have gloriously unhealthy lunches, but yuppie
parents regard these children as contagious chunksters who could pass
the “fat” virus onto their precious kids via direct, sticky-handed
contact.
2) Clothing Has Gotten Ridiculous
Young girls have belly-baring shirts, kid-sized halter tops, and
rhinestones on everything, while young boys look like mini
douche bags with their youth-sized rugby shirts and cargo shorts.
Pre-teens are just as bad: girls are pairing leggings with everything
and boys are popping every collar they can get their hands on. What
happened to Osh Kosh overalls and cute crap like duckies and froggies
on little kids' shirts? Why the hell would you want your 7-year-old to
go to school wearing a t-shirt that says “spoiled brat” and hot pants
that have the word “princess” emblazoned on the butt?
3) Parents are Too Paranoid
In the good ol' days, we could go exploring in the woods behind our
house, climb the tallest tree in our yard, and sled down the stairs in
our house using a blanket or a laundry basket. Our parents didn't care
as long as we came for dinner when they shouted. Now everything in the
house is childproof, kids are on leashes so they don't stroll more than
two feet away from their parents, and parents go insane if their kid
gets a single scratch or bump. Cuts and bruises gave us character, and
they taught us valuable lessons that we were able to learn for
ourselves (e.g., stoves are hot, roofs are high, table corners are
pointy).
Now that I come to think of it, I don't know why I didn't perish as a kid in a roof-jumping off accident or from obsesity triggered juvinle diabetes. Man, we do parent our kids like wussies these days.
To read more of Rebecca's article, go here.
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