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8 "PG" Movies Way Too Scary for Kids

Posted by Cole Gamble

 As you may know, I'm a big fan of traumatizing kids movies. So when I came upon Brian Hanson's article, The 8 PG-Rated Movies That Should Not Have Been Rated PG, I knew I'd need to post a bit of it. Here's a smackering of freaky-ass movies that somehow got the same rating as Shrek.

 

Gremlins (1984)

 

 

It's been widely acknowledged that both Gremlins and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Steven Spielberg's one-two 1984 punch of darkly comic blockbusters, directly led to the creation of the PG-13 rating. Gremlins is chock-full of wanton puppet terror and gore, with the titular hellions getting stabbed, beheaded, and exploded in wonderful blurts of green and brown. Of course, despite creating the PG-13 rating, neither Gremlins nor Temple of Doom were ever submitted for re-rating, so the PG rating still stands to this day for both movies. So Gremlins, with its graphic tale of Phoebe Cates' character's father decaying and rotting in a Santa suit after getting stuck inside the chimney on Christmas, gets the PG pass.

 

Wizards (1977)

 

Yay, a cartoon set off in a magical land! Sounds like Shrek again.  Hold up, this baby's directed by Ralph Bashki, the guy who made edgy, X-rated cartoons like Fritz the Cat and Heavy Traffic (and the controversial Saturday morning update of Mighty Mouse). Wizards is a certifiable, goddamn mess, full of lame rotoscoped animation and tasteless invocation of Nazi imagery, but even for a PG-rated movie in 1977 it feels a little grotesque. There's a seemingly endless battle scene chock full of crudely-animated orcs and elves disemboweling each other, lots of cartoon characters saying naughty words, and a buxom nymph whose nipples seem incapable of being properly contained by her sheer clothing.

 

Watership Down (1978)

 

 

I touched on this in my own traumatizing kids movies article, but not enough can be said abut the movie in which cute fluffy bunnies rip the bloody hell out of each other.

It's pretty much a cartoon bunny horror film, as a small, ragtag group of rabbits are slowly done in by a variety of nasty enemies—owls, hunger, disease, bloodthirsty hounds, and even each other. There's another animated version that exists that would've saved me from the week's worth of nightmares and tears, but unfortunately it arrived nine years too late.

 

You can check out the rest of Brian's piece here.

 

More Good Stuff:

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10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Children


 


+ DIGG + STUMBLE

Comments

 

Sam said:

It's not really his place to judge what is way too scary for kids. They are all different. Maybe these movies were too scary for him, or his kids, but they weren't scary for me. This is why I hate movie ratings.

May 21, 2009 1:37 PM
 

TolaniLucia said:

I love Wizards! at the time my Dad thought it was too scary for me. I fell into a deep funk and continued to bring it up until he rented it for me. It is still one of my favorites. Where are the rest?

May 21, 2009 4:57 PM
 

lydia and megan said:

we are best friends and all ways be

June 16, 2009 11:36 AM
 

Rebecca said:

My parents bought me Watership Down when I was in elementary school, because they thought it was a kid's book. I never got around to reading it then, but as an adult it is one of my favorite books. It definitely has some very scary parts though.

June 16, 2009 10:17 PM

About Cole Gamble

Cole Gamble’s writings on the crimes of Willy Wonka, man-eating beds and tales from his cringe-worthy life appear here on Babble, the humor site Cracked, The Daily Beast, The Huffington Post and Salon. He is working on a book entitled, Conquer Everything! A Self Help Book to Destroy All Other Self Help Books and Grant You Mastery in Everything.

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