Strollerderby

It's always scary to have your infant sleeping next to you.  That is a huge chance to take because if you accidentally fall asleep you can either roll over on the child or the child may roll over and suffocate.  People got to be careful with little ones.

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Okay. If you're irresponsible enough to get that drunk while caring for your infant, then I don't call it "co-sleeping" I call it "too soused to put the baby in its own bed."  I don't care one way or the other about co-sleeping (we did it sometimes, like when the baby was sick and fussy) but I sympathize with those who do care, and stories like these are unfair.

Madeline- I totally agree with you. I think if you polled families anonymously, you would find a HUGE number who are co-sleeping or did co-sleep at one time with their infants. It's the not talking about it and not providing safety guidelines that makes it dangerous.

I feel incredibly lucky to have a family doctor who told us that co-sleeping could be safe and talked with us about precautions to take. She said several times throughout our conversation that the AAP advises against it, but that most parents do it. Being able to talk with our family doctor openly about it and not receive a lecture made a big difference for us, and I think it made our little one safer.

It doesn't seem like co-sleeping is to blame here, just irresponsible parenting.

I co-slept with each baby from the day we came home from the hospital until they were weaned - I never thought I would until I was so exhausted from nursing that first night in the hospital that my midwife suggested it and gave me a quick lesson on positioning along with a safety tip talk.  I agree with Madeline that it would be immensely more helpful to say "If you *are* going to co-sleep, please remember not to drink/do drugs/etc/etc" than to just forbid it with a blanket statement.  I never felt nervous about having an infant at my side (between my husband and me, actually.)  It felt cozy, secure, safe and convenient (nursing.)  I loved it.  And they had no trouble graduating to big kid beds when weaned.  

i co slept with my daughter for about a month. we had gotten a bassinet as a present, and because our apartment was not that big we decided to wait on getting a crib until she really needed. turns out we really needed it. She hated the bassinet, not that i can blame her. the pad they put in those things is not even 1/4 of an inch thick. she just liked the mattress. but i was so happy when we finally got the crib. I dont have a problem with co sleeping (as long as people are doing it right, other wise it is dangerous and stupid) , it just wasnt for me. I move when i sleep, and i was always terrified i was going to wake up on top of her. i never did though, i never moved in inch while i slept for that month.

Of course i never got drunk before going to sleep either.

I have no problem with people co-sleeping responsibly, but just an FYI, my daughter rolled from her back to her stomach the first time at 6-weeks-old, so it is feasible that a 2-month-old could roll onto his stomach and then not be able to get back to his back.

I believe it comes down (as generally is the case in US medicine) to a liability issue.

A few years back I read a metaanalysis of co-sleeping vs seperate sleeping research and it showed that as long as a few basic safety guidelines (including no drinking or smoking) are followed that co-sleeping is no more dangerous than seperate sleeping. The liability issue comes into play with the American Acadamy of Pediatricians because if a Dr. lists the safety guidelines for a patient but forgets to include one such as avoiding the danger of entrapment between a headboard and mattress, then that patient can sue the hell out of the doctor and what jury isn't going to sympathize with the poor parents who just lost their precious baby. So basically it came down to the analysis that it was safer financially to just tell everyone to completely avoid co-sleeping versus actually doing the right thing and trying to teach people how to do it safely.

That's the only conclusion that I can come up with to explain the AAP's stance on the issue considering that the research doesn't support it.

There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping, if done safely. Philadelphia also had an anti-cosleeping campaign after so many infants died as a result  of cosleeping. However the city would not say if alcohol or drugs were involved and lumped together cases of SIDs with cases of co-sleeping. It's also worth mentioning that Dr.Sears only recommends co-sleeping for breastfeeding moms.

Until my son was six months old, I removed the comforter and all but one small pillow from the bed before going to sleep. I just bundled us up extra cozy before bed. Even after that we only used a thin crocheted blanket for extra warmth on chilly nights. And, of course, I never drank or took any sleep inducing medication before going to bed. Most co-sleeping deaths are the result of parents engaging in irresponsible behavior, not because of the co-sleeping itself.

I co-slept a couple of times when my kids were infants.  Mostly it was inadvertant... falling asleep while nursing.  No drugs or alcohol was ever involved.  I would like to think that I would have woken up if I rolled over onto my babies but I was so tired, I was never sure.  So I never felt comfortable doing it.  The times I tried it on purpose, I never slept well worried about how I might move when asleep. Really, if you're totally exhausted, how can you be sure you won't move wrong?  I felt it was too big a chance to take and the consequences too dire if I chose wrong.  

Isn't this a little like saying all crib sleeping is unsafe if an infant suffocates on stuffed toys, blankets and pillows in a crib? It seems like the real message should be about setting up a safe sleeping environment, and there really is more than one way to do that.

My twins started sleeping with me when they were 6 months old. It made life so much easier, especially because I was nursing a lot at night. We got rid of our entire bed frame, and had just a plain mattress on the floor. We also followed the other common safety precautions. I really enjoyed that time cuddling in bed, and it helped all of us get more sleep. I actually wish I had given in and brought them to bed sooner.

Hmmm...sounds like it isn't co-sleeping as much as irresponsible parenting that is the problem.  What a shame.

Our little one slept in our bed on occassion simply because we both have to work, and working on no sleep was in nobody's best interest.  All covers and pillows were removed on those nights.  

I was not a fan of "the family bed"  for our family. My daughter had an arm's reach co-sleeper. I felt that was a safer option. When she was new it was just too scary to have this tiny girl sandwiched  between me and my husband. We were just so exhausted! The thing that gets me with the above story, and those that follow as earlier cases, is the fact that almost all of them involve alcohol but what's worse is that they seem to involve people who can't be bothered to put their babes down to sleep in a proper bed. Almost every health clinic provides info about safe co-sleeping. Inside these write ups it states clearly that chairs, couches and the like are not safe places to fall asleep with a baby.

You're right.  It's a huge risk to fall asleep next to your child in bed and accidentally roll over onto them.  Just about as much a risk it is that you'll roll out of bed.  Oh, wait, you don't worry about that?  Guess what--it's because MOST people have bodies which are attuned to where the edge of the bed is...or where their sleeping infant is.

And for people who keep espousing the fact that every health clinic or doctor or whatever says cosleeping is unsafe...maybe, in the U.S.  But venture outside of the U.S. and you'd be surprised at what passes for safe sleeping....

I refused to give up my pillow and blankets.  More power to those who can, but I cannot sleep anywhere without about 200 blankets and a very specific pillow.

Plus when we *did* sometimes have a kid in the bed (usually when they were sick) I found I was sleeping so lightly that I couldn't get enough rest to function the entire next day.  Cribs and bassinets in our room, very nice baby monitors, and the playpen were our friends during my kids' infancies.

if you don't drink or take medication that makes you drowsy and you don't fall asleep in a weird place like a couch and if you don't have too much bedding and a bed that's excessively soft, co-sleeping is probably very safe.

i agree with Renee - most parents are very attuned to the infant in their bed and if not drunk or on drugs will be aware of the position of the infant.  i know i was.

that's not to say the occasional tragic accident may not occur, but it seems to me to be very rare if basic precautions are taken

I was always told co-sleeping was the safest thing. One of my friends told me that no mother has ever killed a baby unless they were drunk, or on drugs.  I can't believe this is true, because it almost happened to me!  When my daughter was about 5 weeks old, she was co-sleeping with my husband and me because I was SO TIRED.  We were both very tired from trying to adjust to her routine.  In my sleep, I sat up in bed, and must have been trying to readjust myself because I picked the pillow up and flipped it down in the middle of the bed, where I lay my head on top of it.  My husband (a light sleeper) woke me up, and asked where the baby was.  I remember flipping down the sheets in panic to find her, but didn't.  My husband lifted the pillow, and I had laid it right on her face!  Co-sleeping is convenient, not safe.  Thankfully, my experience was only a close call.  

I personally could never co-sleep.  I have on many occassion woken up in the middle of the night laying on my cat (he's twenty pounds and two feet long).  So I know that I could not possibly do more than nap next to my kid.  Besides, I like the idea of my room being parent territory and the kid's room being kid territory.  And the whole hassle of trying to get them used to sleeping alone just seems unappealing.

But yeah, obviously drinking when sleeping next to a kid is stupid and more the cause of some of those deaths.

I live near MKE and have been hearing these news stories and thought the same thing: drunk or on drugs. Or both.

I co-slept with first baby right away despite nurses' objections that I might harm the baby. I figured that if I could keep from rolling over onto my cat(s) in the middle of the night, I was probably wired to protect my baby.

I am co-sleeping with the second baby (5 mos today!) but not the whole night. His crib is in our room and it's usually around 2 or 3 that I will just give up and let him sleep next to me on his back because he seems to sleep more deeply. I've had one close call with him wiggling close to the edge after nursing on that side, but again--WIRED to protect woke me up out of my light "baby" sleep and I simply scooted him closer to me and moved the pillow to block him.

I love co-sleeping but am looking forward to being able to have my own bed back, and am working on getting him to enjoy sleeping in his own crib.

Co-sleeping is risky in any case.  I think that any activity that is dangerous to my baby is not for us.  Period.  So we dont co-sleep, we dont use slings and I dont drink alcohol.  I have never understood the reluctance of parents to let a child sleep on their own.  If they are in their own bed they are safer.  Just get up if they cry if that is not too much trouble.  Isn't for me!

Co-sleeping has been practiced carefully around the globe for--well, forever.  But it's always so much easier these days to blame someone or something rather than taking responsibility for our own actions (8 beers--yikes!).  Where, oh where, has our collective common sense gone??

Alice, I'm glad to hear that crib sleeping worked for your family, but it doesn't work for everyone. It's not always about what the parents want. I had no interest in cosleeping at all. In fact, I was dead set against it. However, my daughter refused to sleep alone. Period. It wasn't a question of "just get up if they cry" being too much trouble. She would only stop crying if I was touching her or lying down next to her. Ever. I tried and tried to figure out how to get her to sleep on her own. Nothing worked. After a few days, I accidentally fell asleep while holding her out of sheer exhaustion. Then it happened again. And again. Clearly THAT was not safe. Finally, I gave in and coslept. I think that any mom that had a child like mine would end up doing the same thing, unless they were willing to let a newborn scream for hours without picking her up.

I totally agree that medical and public health professionals need to accept that cosleeping does happen, and work to make it safer, rather than just telling parents not to cosleep.

I do have to say that it always tickles me when people talk of something being perfectly fine and safe because it has been done around the world for centuries.

Turn off your television and live your own life.

My son has slept in the bed with me since the day we brought him home from the hospital.  I couldn't bare to not have him next to me.  It bothers his father but it ensures sleep for everyone. I breast feed and it's nice to be able to just roll over and feed him. I am a very conscience and aware sleeper and we have never had a problem. I also recently went back to school so I already am unable to spend alot of time with him...between working full time and going to school full time.  So sleeping together is just more cuddle time I get to enjoy with my little man. The hard part, I believe, is going to be getting him out of the bed and into his own crib on a regular basis.  He is 9 months and I would like to do this before he is 1 year old.