If there was any parent who might have taken exception with Kate Haas' piece on being TV free right here on Babble, it was one who penned a piece about letting her daughter watch a heckuva lot of TV.
Yes, that would be me.
Honestly? I loved it. Because while Haas shared all the wonderful reasons her family's TV-free (similar, actually, to my own completely TV-free upbringing), she focused in on something that a lot of parents today just don't get. She doesn't make parenting decisions because she wants you to make the same ones. She makes them because that's how SHE wants to parent.
Imagine that. It isn't about you.
What first attracted me to Babble's Bad Parent column, back before I started writing for the site, was the fact that parents could tell the stories of alternate ways they've found to parent. Not because they think EVERYONE has to do it that way, but because there are too darn many people out there who think it's their way or the highway. Bad Parent has opened up an avenue for really not so bad parents like me (and the dozens of other Bad Parent writers, including several of my colleagues here on Strollerderby) to very simply offer another option. Haas can keep the TV out of the house. I can leave it on all day.
Do we talk about the benefits of our way? Of course! If we didn't think there were benefits, frankly, why would we be doing it? It's why I've shared the story of how I juggle sending my kid to daycare a few days a week and taking her to work with me other days, the reasons I won't use the "v" word with my kid, the reasons I refuse to make holidays into an extended family hell.
Often writing about these choices draws criticism, offering you all a computer-side seat to the so-called mommy wars, where judgement reigns supreme. It happens. As a writer, that's what happens when you share your words with other people. Sometimes, judging people is OK. We all do it.
But a comment on a recent Bad Parent compelled me to answer back for the first time ever. The reader took issue with the use of the word "park." As in parking my kid in daycare.
"Why can't writers explore these issues without insulting those who have chosen differently," she asked.
My question? Why is expressing an alternate opinion an insult? The true mommy wars come from parents who are unable to simply say "eh, they do it that way, I do it my way."
It's a point Haas makes very clear in her essay this week. She's TV-free by choice. She's not walking into other people's homes and yanking out the cord on their idiot boxes. Sure, she'll tell you all the benefits. But at the end of the day, she's not going home to her husband to say "Oh my Gawd, can you believe those people let their kids watch Dora?"
As Haas says, "Believe
me, I'm not sitting in judgment. Isn't raising kids hard enough without that?" So why don't you take a gander at some alternate parenting choices over at our Bad Parent Column? You might find some new ideas about how to parent. Or you might just get annoyed.
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