Strollerderby

Is he spending time away from his children so that he can spend time with his (alleged) mistress?  And I'm not wholly ready to discount the "bad example", even though his kids are fairly tiny (aren't the twins approaching 8?) in the scheme of things.  He IS setting a bad example, in so many ways, if he is, as alleged, cheating.  (All of the following would be true IF he is cheating, I just don't feel like writing out "if he's cheating" with each example):

He's showing his children that you don't have to respect marriage or their mother, which he isn't doing by cheating.

He's giving his little boys a sorry excuse for a role model; he's giving his little girls some sorry expectation for how men behave.

He's potentially damaging them, as even if they don't know now, they may feel wounded down the line when it comes out.

Granted, I'd question his parenting quality simply because he shoves his family in front of a camera for personal gain.  But that's just me.  (And yes, I question the Duggars on that same front as well.  To each their own I suppose.)

I often say of my own father that he was a horrible husband to my mother, but a great Dad to me. I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. I know of people who are great husbands and lousey fathers as well.

I think you're looking at two different aspects of fatherhood with this one.  In the little picture, day-to-day, a cheater can be a great dad.  My dad cheated on my mom for years, but still came to every school play, awards ceremony, and baseball game.  But it doesn't work over time.  Once you know your dad is a cheater you don't respect him anymore, and that undermines everything fatherhood should be about.  You also know he disrespects your mother, which really screws up how you form relationships in the future.  So if this is true, on a micro level he might be OK, but on a macro level he's really messing up his family.

I think cheating on his wife certainly makes him less of a dad, but like the blogger pointed out, his kids are still pretty small and even the older ones, at 8, are probably not going to notice/understand at this point in their lives.  Far more damaging to the kids, I would imagine, would be the constant humiliation and verbal abuse that Kate subjects Jon to (and intends on subjecting him to for another season despite the fact that he wants out.)  I certainly don't condone cheating, especially when there are kids to think about, but she sooooo drove him to it.  

Are you kidding me?  He is the one choosing to cheat, whether or not his wife does anything.  It is not as if she all of a sudden became the way she is - she has always been like that, and in fact has been better in recent years on the show than in the beginning.  

I find him totally deplorable.  He travels around the country talking about how important his marriage is, and then he cheats.  If he want to be out of the marriage, then leave.  Or go to therapy.  Or do something else but cheat - he is in the public eye (by his own choice) and he should take better care of his relationships.

Cheating and lying to your spouse, in this case your child's mother,  certainly does not make you a good parent.  It's a pretty big lie, it is presumably hurtful to the person being cheated on, it is intentionally deceitful and self-serving.  It is likely symptomatic of other trouble in the relationship and signals a lack of respect for his child's mother and a lack of maturity.  Even very young children can observe and internalize this.  Suck it up and solve the relationship problem(s) through divorce or separation first.

Oh, and the hair plugs!  He didn't even want them: Kate made him!

hmmm the marriage is over you think??? but you step out and realize woooo I'm wrong what the hey I want my life back??? everyone is capable of making large mistakes that is one thing but this year it's Diane & what's her name last year it was Cami and before that Kristen and countless others I think you may just need a a doctor and some meds...what is Jon's story ??? why is Kate a Shrew?? the Chicken or the egg....

But when kids are invovled they need to be protected from this and as a parent you need to do your best to not have cheating be part of their life, so don't do it you are the role model

I agree with Cat. My Dad, for the most part, was a decent father, but when I found out about all of his cheating, it really screwed me up. He also exhibited pretty poor judgement by bringing one of his mistresses on a family vacation (she was a friend of my mom's) and also sleeping with one of my teachers. So yeah, maybe he was an ok dad, but definitely a bad husband and also a crappy human. He did this over and over again. I hope John gets his act together.

Being a good father means being a good husband and partner for the children's mother. That is the number one requirement.  Everything else is second.

I do not think that cheating on your spouse automatically makes you a bad parent, a bad person - yes, but not necessarily a bad parent. There are certain circumstances that could link the two together (as mentioned in your blog post and the comments that followed) but he is still very capable of being a good father despite being a lousy husband, in my opinion, as long as his kids can look past how he treated their mother and listen to him as a parental figure still.

Is it just me, or does it seem likely that Kate knew about the cheating all along and let it happen because their intact family is her meal ticket?

I've never watched the show, but that was just the first thing that occurred to me - that they're both all about the moolah, rather than the marriage or the kids, and that it's in both of their best interests to just pretend everything is dandy and keep collecting.

While I'm inclined to agree that cheating (I mean, provided that sexual/emotional exclusivity was part of the terms of your marriage/partnership) is way wrong, I can't help but sympathize with Jon. His wife treats him like total crap and they're all but contractually obligated to be together for their livelihood. I would be hard-pressed to do anything but the same in his situation. Kate doesn't seem the type to take kindly to a discussion about the marriage in which she doesn't have complete conversational control.

I think he's a horrible father because he exploits his children to make $$$ on a TV show.  His cheating may or may not impact them, but most certainly doesn't impact them as much as having what should be their private lives broadcast as "entertainment."

Knitty: I agree with you that the show completely exploits the kids, but the thing is, Jon doesn't even want to do it anymore.  From what I understand, Kate has gotten her way (I know, big surprise) and they'll be doing another season--if they're still married by then...

I don't know.  I just read that they are scheduled to appear on the Today show and Larry King's show and on and on and on.  I'm beginning to suspect that this "cheating" story is just something they drummed up for more publicity.  

If Jon doesn't want to do the show anymore, can't he just say "no more"?  I don't think that Kate could bring a camera crew into their house without his consent.

Cheating makes you a bad parent because if you cheat you are willing to risk breaking up your family. You are willing to risk only getting to see your children 1/2 time or less. And that's different from deciding to get divorced because you've exhausted other options or if you're being abused or something like that.

I can't imagine a woman having an affair with a man who is married with 8 kids! She's got to be out of her mind. My new book deals with that subject matter, to a degree. "Beth:Love Along The Way...by B.G.Sanford," and just released by Eloquent Books deals with one woman who overcomes all odds and a couple of ugly divorces to find real Love.......Along The Way. For those so inclined, my book can be purchased on line or have your local bookstore order it for you. Either way, the reader is in for a real treat!  

Good reading my friends,

B.G.Sanford

www.eloquentbooks.com/BethLoveAlongTheWay.html

Kate is such a high-strung bitch that it is no wonder Jon is looking for something else.

My opinion is that when a spouse cheats they cheat on the whole family. If Jon and Kate divorce I think it will be devastating to the kids.  I hope, for the sake of their children, that Jon and Kate can repair their marriage.  But, I think to do so they will have to step out of the public eye and concentrate on being a "real" family without the cameras. But, are they willing to do that? Kate keeps saying she is having fun, but at what cost to her family?      

Are you out of your mind? Obviously, these children are much better off with their Father. His wife wrote him off much earlier (and I used to call myself a Feminist). Obviously, no one here has watched the show.  My only satisfaction is to know that TLC will be sued out of existence in 10 years or so, when the kids are old enough to emancipate themselves.

Is it cheating if Kate knows about it and endorses it via a written contract, as has been alleged by her own brother and sister-in-law?  It's only cheating if the wife doesn't know about it, not if the wife is willing to do anything, including giving her husband extra-marital rights for comfort and affirmation so he will continue to play the fool and accept her emasculating, demeaning and abusive behavior toward him before an audience of millions.  

As a duped wife, I do NOT condone cheating.  Neither do I condone Kate's treatment of Jon.  Kate's brother said that there was so much fighting going on on the set that the crew was lucky to get 15 minutes of footage out of 8 hours of filming.  If Jon did not stay quiet, they wouldn't have even gotten those 15 minutes.

For those who claim that Kate is a strong woman and that her behavior is only being criticized because she is a woman, you are missing the point.  Those of us who find her behavior abhorrent would find it so whether it was committed by a man toward a woman, a woman toward a man, or an adult toward a child.

Okay, Jon.  Are you a good dad?  Are your friends right?  If so, protect your children.  You should know where the money is and how much there is to raise the children.  If you truly love your children, learn to live with less perks and more love, time, and attention and parenting for those lovely children of yours.  Undo the damage that has been done.  Take the time to teach them ways of peace and kindness toward others.  From all reports, that is how your father treated others.  Be your father's son.  Try to save your marriage.  If Kate is unwilling, then take your children and save them from becoming mini-Kates.  Those children love you.  Protect them.