Strollerderby

Are You Mom, Mommy or Mother?

Posted by Madeline Holler

Long story, but I was reading an email from Ann Coulter the other day. In it, she was mourning the death of her mom, whom she referred to as "Mother." She also brought up her dad, or as she put it, "Father." Of course I thought, "Sure, that sounds about right." This hate-mongering, sexist xenophobe with obvious attachment issues had to have been raised in an emotionally cold home, one in which the parents were referred to in the distancing and overly formal monikers: Mother and Father.

Ahhh, but my colleagues here corrected me. More than one of us at Strollerderby calls the parentals "Mother" or "Father." There's also a prevalent Mother and Daddy combo, which, we all figured, comes from somewhere in the South.

So now I'm wondering what other people call their moms and dads. And what our kids call us.

In my white-bread Midwestern upbringing, most friends used "Mom" and "Dad," except those who spoke a language besides English at home -- and even some of them went with Mom and Dad anyway.

My own kids call me "Mom" or "Mommy" (or when they're getting all snuggly/manipulative "Mama") and their father "Daddy" (though lately the 8-year-old has been employing the oh, so mature version "Dad.") 

What do you call your parents? What do your kids call you? Did you tell them what to call you or did it just happen? There's nothing sadder than a mother trying to get her kids to call their father "Papa," but they'll only use "Dad." Has it happened to you?

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Comments

 

feefifoto said:

That's funny -- my son calls me Mama when he's being cuddly or manipulative too.

May 5, 2009 9:42 AM
 

denise said:

My preschooler is bilingual so she calls me 'Mommy' and her father 'Daddy' when we're speaking English, mostly at home, and 'Mamma' or 'Papà' when we're speaking Italian, with friends and family.  This came about without any prompting from us.  As for my parents, it's 'Mom' and 'Dad.'  I do hope my daughter will switch to 'Mom' and 'Dad' when she gets older.  

May 5, 2009 9:48 AM
 

CV said:

We grew up in a household where it was Mommy/Daddy or Mom/Dad.  Mother and Father were considered too formal for everyday use; they were titles that appeared on legal forms and such, but weren't used every day.

A friend who grew up in the US as a relocated Brit did refer to her parents as Mother and Father.  It sounded odd to my ears, and I'm sure that my Mom and Dad did to hers.  

Our son is not talking yet but we refer to each other as Mommy and Daddy so I would imagine that that is how he'll pick up on it.  

May 5, 2009 9:50 AM
 

Anonymous2 said:

I called my parents Mommy & Daddy when I was very small and then switched to Mom & Dad once I was a bit older.  Our 5-year-old calls us Mommy & Daddy most of the time, sometimes Mom & Dad, although I'd be quite happy to remain "Mommy" forever.  Mama makes me gag for some reason...

May 5, 2009 10:51 AM
 

e said:

When people find out we're a two-mom family it's the number one question they want an answer to- what will he call you? Right now we're both Mom. As he gets older he might find different names for his different moms, but we also know some adults who grew up with same sex parents who call them both Mom or both Dad.

My partner and I laugh about it frequently.... that when people are concerned about our son and his future they worry about what he'll call us. So silly, isn't it?

May 5, 2009 10:55 AM
 

janey said:

both my boys call their dad 'papa'. our 2nd grader has begun to get teased at school for it though, and try as he might he keeps forgetting to say 'dad' around his friends. poor kid.

May 5, 2009 11:39 AM
 

elohveeee12 said:

i call my mom and dad, mom and dad. My daughter is only 18 months and she calls me mama or mommy. Sometimes mom, there is a commercial where the kids keep yelling to their mom because they cant find anything, and she picked up on that and everyonce in a while she will do a "Mom! Mom! Mom!" just for fun. But her dad is always daddy. I assume that at some point I will become just mom, and he will be dad. I hope it takes a while though.

May 5, 2009 12:54 PM
 

HDCS said:

My little one always calls me Mama. Dad is just Daddy. Though he has picked up copying me after always saying "Where is your father?" when his daddy is late getting home. So when in the whiny mood that often strikes a three year old it's " I want my FAAAATHER!".

May 5, 2009 12:54 PM
 

TolaniLucia said:

Nothing! Right now much to my dismay nothing. But my girl calls her father Daddo.

May 5, 2009 1:02 PM
 

rootbeerjunkie said:

my brother and i actually called my mother "mom" and my dad "hon."  that was what my mom always called him so we did not know better.  i thought it was like Attila i guess.  i think it was sometime in high school i switched to Dad, but there were many father's day cards where i crossed out "dad" and wrote in "hon".  funny in hindsight i guess.  but seemed normal for us.

May 5, 2009 2:17 PM
 

anonomama said:

It's Mama and Daddy for our kiddo here.  It's what my adult brothers & I still call our parents, and what my dad and his brothers still call their octogenarian parents, and what my 85 year old grandpa still uses to refer to *his* parents.  I got a chuckle out of the comment upthread on "Mama" making the poster gag -- I have the same reaction to Mommy!  Just a different family culture I suppose.  

May 5, 2009 2:31 PM
 

Robyn said:

I went through phases. I started with Mommy & Daddy, went to Mom & Dad, and then did Mother & Father throughout high school.

Now, I call my parents Nana and Grandpa most of the time. :0) I do still call my Dad "Daddy" these days, sometimes.

May 5, 2009 5:47 PM
 

katlady500 said:

We're mom-mom and dad-dad and for some reason the 4 yr old is very adamant about it. If someone makes the mistake of referring to me as his "mommy", he'll angrily inform them that it's actually "mom-mom."

May 5, 2009 5:51 PM
 

Bunny said:

While we are quite American, oddly, my sister and I went through a British phase and started calling our mother "Mum" sometime around middle school, and she has remained Mum. Our dad was always Daddy, even through my college years.

May 5, 2009 5:56 PM
 

Manjari said:

I called my parents mommy and daddy when I was very little, and I switched to mom and dad when I was about 7. Sometimes my mom will still refer to my dad as daddy or herself as mommy on my voicemail, and it really disturbs me (a lot).

My kids are 2.5. They started with Mama, now it is Mommy and sometimes Mom. I think it's early for them to call me Mom, but I guess they hear me calling my mom that way.

May 5, 2009 6:16 PM
 

Shannon LC Cate said:

My parents are Mother and Daddy (they're from Arkansas!).  My partner and I are essentially Mama and Mom, plus our first names.

May 5, 2009 6:56 PM
 

leahsmom said:

I was the only kid in my family for a long time, and so I didn't hear "mom" and "dad" - for the first few years, I apparently called my parents Ben and Sarah, because that's what everyone else called them!  But my grandmother then taught me to use "mom" and "dad".

May 6, 2009 12:38 PM
 

beeper said:

I call my mother Mom or Mum and my father Dad or Pop.  Our daughter calls us Mama and Dada but she is only 18 months so that will probably change.

May 7, 2009 1:15 AM
 

Amber said:

My sons call me mom (mommy sometimes for the youngest one)and their dad is called "papa" or "pop" (he's Italian and prefers this).

My own mother was called "mom" but my dad was/still is called by his first name. Yes, he's my biological dad. As a little girl I'd call out "daddy" at family functions and the park and many heads would turn. I figured out at around 4 that if I yelled "Arnold" my dad would also respond! So it just stuck!

May 8, 2009 2:22 PM
 

Michelle said:

I am 37yro and I still call my Mother "mommy".  My sons 3&5 use a combo of mom and mommy.  And my 3yro daughter has added mama to her combo.  I think it would be weird for my adult sons to call me mommy but I hope daughter is like me and never stops calling me "mommmy"

May 11, 2009 5:30 AM
 

Danielle said:

I usually call my parents different names depending on my mood and stuff. My Father is always Father, because I have a bad relationship with him and everything is usually stiff and formal. Hence, Father.

My Mommy, is usually Mommy or Momma (with a Texan accent) or Mum (with a British one). Usually I only call her Mother when I am annoyed with her. Or trying to find her ("MOTHER?! WHERE ARE YOU?!").

May 27, 2009 2:58 PM
 

Mira said:

I called my parents Mamaand Daddy until I was about five, when I read the Little Princess, at which point I started calling my dad Papa, which has stuck (I'm now 24).  Like the kid of a previous poster, I did get given some grief about it, but I wasn't teased too badly.  The really weird thing for me is that my husband called his grandfathers "Papa."  No kids yet for us, so we'll have to wait a while to see what they do!

May 29, 2009 4:10 PM
 

Serena said:

For some crazy reason, my grandmother and grandfather on my mother's side are Nana and Papa. Our son calls me Ma, and his father Pa. We are from the north west and I don't really hear that too often. Actually, I don't hear it ever. Maybe we like being different..?

June 2, 2009 8:43 PM

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