For the last year, I have rarely met a girl under the age of
eleven who has not, upon learning my first name, immediately burst into a pop song
by Miley Cyrus’ alter ego. And to think,
I used to love my name.
Because this is already far more Hannah Montana that I can
stand, I don’t plan on seeing her blockbuster. But I will gladly pass on secondhand
reasons why you and your kids shouldn’t see it, either.
Unsurprisingly, NPR’s
movie blog
found the movie lacking in intrigue,
camera work, and sound quality, cinematic failures that, admittedly, no
11-year-old is bound to notice. But Miley’s young admirers may be susceptible to
the movie’s very clear message that it’s better to please others than it is to
act like yourself. (Spoiler alert: stop reading if you don’t know want to know
the compelling plot twister that communicates this message.)
After years of trying to live a double life—one of being
Hannah Montana the popstar, another of being Miley Stewart, the Tennessee farm
girl—Miley decides she can’t stand the deceit anymore. At a concert, she takes
off her wig (which amazingly prevents anyone from noticing that Miley and
Hannah Montana have the exact same face) and announces her true identity,
prepared to be accepted for who she is. Hurray! The end of deceit and
superficiality is here!
Well, not exactly. According to NRP, mass disappointment
ensues. “Several characters insist that children across the world will ‘lose
their dreams’ if they find out Hannah is a fake. So Miley listens to them and
puts the wig back on. Happy ending.”
If there’s any message preteen girls don’t need, it’s that
other people will not like you if you reveal your true self. As NPR puts it, "Hannah Montana: The Movie suggests
that we can make people happy by always being who they want us to be, so we should
maintain a performance at all costs." Then there’s the equally problematic message that “average”
people from humble beginnings cannot be powerful or inspiring figures (an anachronistic
message, given our current president).
I’m sorry that Miley Cyrus has to live her entire life as a
fake. But that's no reason to glorify such a dismal fate for the impressionable
tween masses.
Photo: NPR
