Strollerderby

Breastfeeding Debates: Just a Tempest in a Sippy Cup?

Posted by JeanneSager

Here's the thing about the breast is best debate. Do we really care what another mother does with her boobs?

No, really. You might say you care that she gets the best medical advice, that that precious little baby gets the best start to life. But when your kid and her kid sit side by side in kindergarten, holding hands, is it really going to matter who did what on day thirty-six of that baby's life?

Sometime Babble contributor Lynn Harris turned her often irreverant sense of humor to the oh so serious topic of breastfeeding on NPR this week, and though she treats the subject with all due respect (she is, after all, a mother), she pokes her fun where it's due. The breastfeeding debate, she says, is nothing but "a tempest in a sippy cup."

For MOST women, it isn't about whether or not they think breastfeeding is good for babies, or even whether they WANT to do it. Says Harris:

"Because we don't read the Journal of the American Medical Association to decide whether, or how long, to breast-feed. We consider our bodies: Are we physically able to nurse in the first place? Or are we plagued, as I was with my first child, by plugged ducts and serious mastitis? We consider the child: Did we, luck of the draw, get one who just says no to latching? We consider our workplace: How long is our maternity leave? Where can we pump when we go back?"

And that, my friends, is where the debate needs to take a hike. You want to breastfeed? You made it work? Woohoo! Fabulous! Really. I'm not being facetious here. I'm happy for you that you are able to nourish your child with your breastmilk, that you have got the latch down and find the appropriate place to pump if need be. 

Not breastfeeding? Didn't want to? OK, well, that's your choice. Did want to, but couldn't? I'm sorry, is there anything we can do? Other than berating you and telling you you're feeding your child pure evil in liquid form and forcing you onto mega doses of Paxil to handle your postpartum depression caused by feelings of inadequacy?

Here's why everyone needs to read Harris' essay: she puts blame where blame is due. On the crappy advice in hospitals. On the crappy employers who don't give moms appropriate time for pumping. On the family medical leave act's lack of depth and the lack of paid leave time available for new mothers. On the public breastfeeding conundrum, especially for women who are shy and uncomfortable out in the public eye. 

"Show me a lactation room at the Qwik Mart, and I'll show you a woman more willing to leave the maternity ward without her care package of free formula," Harris says (see, told you she was a bit irreverant). 

Come on moms, let's look at who you're really mad at. It's not each other.

Image/Source: NPR

Related Posts:

They Say: Blame Hospitals for Breastfeeding Failures

Motherless Baby Breastfed By Six Women Each Day

Also on Babble:

The Helicopter Parent's Reading List

The Country that Never Sleeps


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Comments

 

e said:

brilliant! well written and so, so true!

April 16, 2009 10:43 AM
 

Michelle said:

"...On the crappy employers who don't give moms appropriate time for pumping. On the family medical leave act's lack of depth and the lack of paid leave time available for new mothers..."

With all decisions in life, there are consequences. There should be no "blame game" here regarding anything relating to parenthood. It's a decision that (I hope) you went into with eyes wide open.

So companies don't have the "appropriate" time set aside for pumping. So what? Why should they? YOU knew your breasts were going to produce milk BEFORE you got pregnant...so deal with it. It's like buying a sports car and then complaining when the insurance is higher.You CHOSE to create that little bundle of joy, and the rest of the world should not have to bend to your whims and desires to make life easier on you. This world has survived a very long time without the workplace setting aside boobie time and I think we'll continue to be fine.

Work out an arrangement with the management so you can split your lunch times up and come in a little earlier or stay a little later. Yes, that will be slightly more time away from your darling little spawn, but you will be putting in your expected work time, keeping your employer (and even follow employees) happier. It's a give and take thing here, ladies. If you can't stand to be away from baby for that long and you can't afford NOT to work, well maybe you shouldn't have...well...you know.

May 1, 2009 9:19 AM
 

Allison Y. said:

As a woman who has breast fed 3 kids, successfully,the blame goes to both the hospitals and to the mothers. I only say that because in my experience if I am not prepared I seek out information and resources to insure my success. My Mom was a modern 1960's Mom who bottle fed, and could give me NO Advice!! I sought out LeLeche league and they came to my home to help me. My oldest did not properly latch on for 3 weeks, but I kept at it!!

When others around you are ignorant and inexperienced they often encourage you to stop breast feeding.When I breastfed my daughter who is now 16 years old, I felt like I was oddity, especially in the African American community, constantly explaining what was happening and why things worked that way.

That is where the health care system comes in, with support for new Moms, home visits by nurses, remember those? There is so much misinformation out there. In addition, the way in which the woman's breast is sexualized our society has resulted in difficulty in understanding and supporting the breasts wonderful purpose in feeding infants and thereby aiding the complex process of healing after childbirth. For instance breastfeeding results in the following, delaying ovulation, helping to shrink the uterus, releasing oxytocin, natures version of Valium that results in peaceful feelings and bonding with your infant. You can't palm your kid off on others when you breastfeed, and usually you don't want to......

May 3, 2009 9:11 PM

About JeanneSager

Jeanne Sager is a writer who lives in upstate New York with her husband, daughter, a dog and too many cats. She refuses to believe motherhood comes with pumpkin appliqued sweaters, and she';s not ready to apologize for having only one child. She writes about raising her kid in her own hometown and the mom stuff she's not embarrassed to own at her blog, Inside Out (http://jeannesager.blogspot.com), she's contributing editor of Grand Magazine, and she's a regular essayist here on Babble

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