Strollerderby

School Says No Touching - Ever

Posted by JeanneSager

Want to make a bunch of middle school kids with their hormones a ragin' really crazy?

Tell them they can't touch other. No high five. No bumping fists. No noogies. And definitely no holding hands - nope, not even locking pinky fingers. 

Administrators at a middle school in Connecticut have put out a strict no touching policy in an attempt to cut down on "horseplay" among the students. 

In theory, I get it. Kids in middle school are rough on each other - and the kid who was kicked in the groin at the school a few weeks ago was in some serious hurting (I'm a girl, and even I think about the kick in the 'nads and cringe). 

But middle school kids don't live in a theoretical world. They're at an age when they literally crave touch. They are starting to get an itch for sexual exploration - even though they're not ready for sex (no matter what they think). So they tickle. They hold hands. They hug. And since they're still little kids, they also tussle, slap five, roughhouse. 

Some of them take it too far, obviously, which is where discipline comes into play. Lay down common sense rules, and kids respond. If they don't, they face the consequences. Like punishment for kicking a kid in the groin.

If they weren't respectful enough of the rules NOT to get violent, is a no touching rule really going to stop them? Or is it just going to make a roiling mess of pre-teen hormones go beserk?

Part of the socialization of school is learning to respect one another's personal space. When a pre-teen boy gets too close to a pre-teen girl, she should be developing the wherewithal to tell him to back off. Boys too should be learning where the lines are drawn. Because in the real world, there is no "no touching" rule. We walk past our co-workers, and thanks to years of growing up around other kids, now when we can put our hands on their shoulders to scootch past to get a the coffee machine, now NOT to put our hands on their butt when we do it.

You know where the no touching rule is going to put most of these kids? In detention.

Image: VariousandSundry

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Comments

 

mistress_scorpio said:

I would respond to this by organizing a protest where we all acted out the motion of "mime in a box."

March 30, 2009 12:15 PM
 

BBBGMOM said:

Asinine lame brained lazy burnt out administrators.  Too bad for that town.  If I could afford it, I'd pull my kids out if we lived there.  Idiocy.

March 30, 2009 1:16 PM
 

respectfulmom said:

If parents taught their children the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, the school administrators would not have to do this.  If you stand outside of  a middle school and just watch the way boys grope girls etc... you would be appauled.  If the kids don't want to follow the rules then they should be expelled so their parents can deal with them....

March 31, 2009 1:18 PM
 

Twyla said:

I have a middle schooler and I don't see how this will work. In theory, it makes sense. In reality, it will be very time consuming to enforce.

I would throw out the idea that in the olden days boys weren't allowed to touch girls and vice versa. Now, with our gender-free society you can't say that. I used to hold hands with my girl friends in the hallway and no one thought anything of it as long as me and my boyfriend had inches between us at all times. The political correctness required of the school makes these drastic measures the only option they have.

That said, it is stupid.

March 31, 2009 1:51 PM
 

Jeff said:

Listen this not touching thing is BS it is not the schools place to have a "no touching rule". It is the parents responsibilty to teach there kids apropriate behavior bases on the indevidual families beleifs. the kids need to have acountability for there actions, at the middle school age kids are not in the hallways  tring to have sex with each other, at most they hold hands and MAYBE a peck or two. no harm no foul.

March 31, 2009 2:39 PM
 

Manjari said:

So if the kids are swearing or teasing one another, I guess they should have a no talking rule.

March 31, 2009 2:43 PM
 

Twyla said:

Jeff- Before your kids get into middle school, if they aren't there already, you need to do some research. In my home state, Oregon, the average age to lose virginity is 14. In my county, 13. Those are middle schoolers. Every year in this area middle school girls are getting pregnant.

Of course parents teach thier kids about appropriate touching. However, my ability to hover has not yet fully developed and there are times I can not supervise my child. The school has to make rules to protect themselves as much as they are making the rules to protect the children. When a parent can press sexual harassment charges on a kindergartener you know you are in a weird world. Welcome to it.

March 31, 2009 4:18 PM
 

jeff said:

twyla- I do have a middle school age child. while you do make a goos point about kids having sex at early ages, that was not what i was saying what i said was "middle school age kids are not in the hallways  tring to have sex with each other, at most they hold hands and MAYBE a peck or two. no harm no foul" the key words there were "in the hallways" now as for kids who are out having sex that young i say Girls- have daddy issues and do not have a solid father figure in there lives, and boys- are haveing mommy issues and need a mother who is there for him and who truly cares about him.

April 1, 2009 6:54 PM
 

BigMG said:

"Just one more peep out of any of you and I'm pulling this car over!"

"I mean it! Don't anyone touch anyone!"

"Okay, this is your last warning! I'm serious now!"

And on and on.

It is quite a spectacle when you can't tell who the children are.

April 3, 2009 11:36 AM
 

not you said:

your all creeps!!!!

April 27, 2009 11:09 AM

About JeanneSager

Jeanne Sager is a writer who lives in upstate New York with her husband, daughter, a dog and too many cats. She refuses to believe motherhood comes with pumpkin appliqued sweaters, and she';s not ready to apologize for having only one child. She writes about raising her kid in her own hometown and the mom stuff she's not embarrassed to own at her blog, Inside Out (http://jeannesager.blogspot.com), she's contributing editor of Grand Magazine, and she's a regular essayist here on Babble

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