Friday, Friday, Friday! Let's get to it, people.
"Obama to Set Benchmarks in Fight Against Militants." So sayeth the New York Times. What's that conversation like? "Have we found Osama Bin Laden? No? Okay, what else you got?" Another headline from the Times: "Pakistani and Afghan Taliban Unify in Face of U.S. Influx." Oh goody. Sounds fun. Not.
Here in North America, it's layoffs, layoffs and more layoffs -- Google (200 people laid off), the New York Times (100 people laid off and most remaining employees taking a 5 percent pay cut), and the Canadian Broadcasting Company (800 jobs cut, hoping to sell some assets). Google? Really? That's not good.
Speaking of Canada ("C'mon, say 'about' one more time. Please?"), Garth Drabinsky was finally found guilty. Drabinsky was the head of Livent, the producer of the Broadway shows 'Ragtime' and 'Kiss of the Spider Woman.' I admit that I was somewhat giddy to read news of Drabinsky's legal demise; I used to work in theater and was fascinated by the brazen way he left the United States to avoid prosecution. Apparently Garth and his co-hort Myron Gottlieb pulled a Max Bialystock and kept two sets of books -- one fiction, one non. What I've never completely understood about schemes like this is why they keep them both. Wouldn't it make more sense to only keep the fake books? I don't want to give anyone ideas or anything. No word on whether or not Garth is wearing a cardboard belt. (I hope someone gets that reference.) Amazingly, Garth has been appearing on a Canadian reality show called "Triple Sensation" where he and some other people "look for young stars who can sing, act and dance." But not add. That's not needed. Despite Garth's conviction, there will be a season 2. I might need to find that show. (If you want to know the whole saga of Garth, click here.)
If you live in New York and ride public transportation, prepare to pay more. The MTA voted for a big fare increase and cuts in service. Hey, at least it's green.
Speaking of New York, Mayor Michael Bloomberg has resorted to quoting Popeye the Sailor. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
By the way, if anyone didn't know what I meant when I referred to funny car radio ads, here's an example. Except that this ad is for church. "Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" Seriously. Check it out. Consider this your "Moment of Zen", Daily Show style.
And speaking of Comedy Central: I like Stephen Colbert, but naming a space station after him is stupid. The faux-conservative's fans "stuffed the virtual ballot box with 230,539 write-in votes, overriding the four official choices NASA offered," according to Wired.com. NASA can change their mind, but why did they put themselves in this position? Not exactly rocket scientists over there, are they? Oh. Oh! Never mind.
Finally, a fun little item from Gawker. Students at the Boston Latin School have been spreading rumors that the prestigious institute of pre-higher learning is infested with vampires. According to MTV.com, "The headmaster [had become] concerned that some students' safety might be jeopardized, particularly if they were accused of being members of the undead." (Maybe private school doesn't always offer the best education.) Police were called. Parents were alarmed. But school officials promised that it's not true. Then they turned into bats and flew away. (Note: They didn't really turn into bats. Although the rest of the story, as far as I know, is true.)
Thanks for joining me on Morning News the past two weeks. I'll be handing things back over to Madeline, but will continue to do a daily round-up of newsy goodness at DaddyTips.com. Have a great weekend, don't take any wooden nickels.
Image: SXC
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