Strollerderby

Parents May Be Required to Undergo Counseling Before Divorcing

A Republican Congressman from Texas is hoping to reduce his state’s 50 percent divorce rate by making it mandatory for parents to undergo a marriage counseling course before filing for divorce. The 10-hour course in “conflict management, communication skills, and forgiveness skills" would cost $150 and could, according to Rep. Warren Chisum, spare “kids the anxiety and emotional stress that come with a divorce by their parents.”

Apparently, Mr. Chisum has never met a battered woman. As (almost) everyone knows, it takes a lot of courage and planning for the victims of domestic violence to file divorce papers. Requiring them to first take an expensive course in forgiveness could easily have disastrous consequences for both these women and their children.

Even for well-off, nonviolent couples, this legislation would be ineffective at best and harmful at worst. The fact is, it’s impossible to make a blanket judgment on whether divorce is right or wrong for every family. Research on the subject offers conflicting answers, with some psychologists finding kids always fare better with married parents and others finding that children are more balanced if their unhappily married parents divorce.

As the child of divorce, I am the first to see the validity in encouraging parents to commit to working through hard times. But I am also the first to see that a 10-hour forgiveness course is hardly enough of a remedy to keep couples together.

Interestingly, this same Congressman also recently sponsored a measure that supposedly encouraged marriages to last—by doubling marriage license fees while offering a discount to couples who took a counseling course. Apparently, Rep. Chisum believes that money is the only sure path to a happy union….

Photo: irishhealth.net

Related Posts:

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Texas Wants Women to Listen to Fetal Heartbeart Before Abortion


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Comments

 

Laura said:

Oklahoma gives couples a 90% discount on marriage license fees if you provide proof of premarital counseling. Our license cost $5 versus the normal $50. Most pastors provide counseling for free, so you save $45 just by visiting the pastor's office once or twice.

I think that's a much better system. Encouraging engaged couples to get counseling might actually prevent some divorces. Forcing a class on a divorcing couple won't work, and as you said, it could be dangerous if one party is abusive.  

March 20, 2009 3:12 PM
 

Bunny said:

Whaddya wanna bet Rep. Chisum has friends who run a divorce counseling business?

March 20, 2009 3:38 PM
 

rosie said:

I like laura's idea of premarriage counseling, but this divorce counseling just won't do.

March 21, 2009 3:19 PM

About Hannah Tennant-Moore

Hannah Tennant-Moore is a Brooklyn-based freelance writer whose work has appeared or is forthcoming in Best Buddhist Writing (2008); The Sun; Guantanamo: Inside the Prison, Outside the Law; Tricycle; Turning Wheel (as the winner of the Young Writers Award); and elsewhere.

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