Strollerderby

Lots of girls still grow up wanting to get married and have babies. I knew many girls in college who wanted precisely that and were only taking those pesky classes as a means of finding a husband (that always struck me as a colossal waste of money.) Some of them got what they wanted and are perfectly happy.

And is there really anything wrong with that? If that is truly the desire of a woman's heart, isn't it okay for her to follow it? Isn't it just as judgmental to look down your nose at a girl who just wants to be a mom as it is to look down your nose at a career girl with no desire for progeny?

I certainly didn't.  I grew up with a list of careers as long as my arm and told my mom that there was no way I was ever having kids.

That all changed when I met my baby brother (at 16) and fell in love.  But even to this day, it is only one goal of mine, not the be all and end all defining aspect of me and my life.  

I think kids under a certain age want what they see around them. I believe a majority (I could be wrong) consist of a married, two parent household. When girls are young, they probably want to grow up just like mommy - married with kids.

Heck, my daughter, up until a certain age, wanted to marry me when she grew up.

I think this starts to fade for some girls as they get older, but for some it won't. To each his own. Or her own, in this case.

Oh, and, no. I didn't dream of having a husband when I was young.. not that there's anything wrong with that.

When I was growing up, I did dream of meeting my "one true love" or at least a boyfriend of some sort :-p But, that's about as far as it went. Whenever I would think about getting married and having babies, it was something that seemed so far off, I only thought about in the vaguest way. I did pick out the ages of 24 for getting married and 26 for having my first baby, but I'm just into numbers and deadlines that way :-p I actually wasn't that far off... even though I met my future husband when I was 17, we got married when I was 25 and I got pregnant at 30... (those were the deadlines I set for myself a little later in life :-p)

But when I thought about my future, I didn't know what kind of life I would have... I just wanted to have a life :-p I was so bored as a kid... I just wanted to do SOMETHING! Well, I did... my twenties in particular were a wild ride :-p And, even though I've settled down a bit in my thirties, having the girls and all, I definitely think the excitement isn't over yet :-) I still have so many other things I want to do....

But that's just me... everybody had to follow their own path!

When I was growing up, all I dreamed of was having my independence and a cool job. Seriously, my parents were wonderful, but extremely protective and strict, so I always craved being on my own. That really didn't change until I met my husband, and then I just wanted to spend my life with him. (I was in my 30's when we met, so I had a good number of years of living on my own by then.)

However, I think Laura is right. I went to a very good university, which was surrounded by all-girls' colleges that appeared to be there only to meet the men at my school. At any of our parties, you would see these girls batting their eyes and acting incredibly stupid. (Since they actually did get into college, I have to assume they weren't really that stupid and were just acting that way. And you know what, it worked! Even the ones who were not that attractive had guys falling all over them.) So, I do think there are plenty of girls out there whose main goal is getting married and having kids. I really do not think there is anything wrong with this, but going to college specifically to meet a guy does seem silly (and very expensive).

I dreamed of getting married and having kids.  And being an archeologist, an astronaut, president... It doesn't have to be mutually exclusive.  

Agreed, M.  I dreamt of being a mom, a wife, a teacher, and president.  I'm three of the four, and while I love my job, I have to say being a mom and wife is the best.  Nothing wrong with that.

I think it's cool that some of the commenters stated that there's nothing wrong with wanting to find a husband and have babies because at first I was horrified and feeling morally superior to anyone that would dare desire such things (although, I did somehow end up with both things myself.) It was a good reminder that although I don't think a princess wedding and babies are the sole purpose of a woman's existence that I'm not necessarily right or better than those that do feel that way. How do the French say it-- a chacun son gout?

I never dreamt of getting married and having children - I had to be argued into marriage, as I was highly suspicious of it.  I dreamt of a lot of other things.  Like, growing up, and living on my own - I used to imagine the house I'd own as a single person, and draw the rooms and furnish them and everything! So, that's at least one little girl who didn't grow up dreaming of a husband and kids.

I don't think that to do so is wrong or antifeminist, either. I'd love to hear more men say they dreamed as boys of growing up and having a wife and children! But, it's not something all little girls do dream or should have to.

Why oh why must we pick apart everything everybody says. If you took a survey I would bet most women (especially Kate's age) dreamt of growing up and having babies with a husband. It is not weird. In fact, it is quite natural and appropriate to dream. Think of how girls play when they are little. Sure we dabble in the dirt and trucks and GI Joe's occasionally but for the most part little girls want to play house and with dolls and barbies.

I think it is ridiculous to try and cover it up as though we are all desiring this ungendered, unnatural world. It is completely fine for girls to be girls and boys to be boys.

My brother always wanted to get married and have children. So did I, and we are both now happily married with children. It's a very normal thing for boys and girls to dream about what they want their lives to be like when they grow up. I also think romantic love is very compelling and a lot of people think about it a lot.

I dreamt of growing up to be an all-powerful sorceress...or a best-selling author when I was a little girl.

I dreamed of being a teacher: I always played school and taught my younger siblings the alphabet and numbers and how to read and add.  I dreamed of being a doctor.  I dreamed of living with my best friend forever.  And now, I'm finishing my undergrad with a teaching certificate, applying to medical school, and am living with my best friend--my husband.

My younger sister has always wanted to be a homemaker.  She never really was interested in school; when people asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she said "a mommy".  She married with our parents' full approval when she was 19 to a wonderful guy she had been friends with for over 2 years, and she is now 20 and pregnant with their first child.  

People are different!  They have different hopes and dreams and aspirations; they have different passions and skill sets and personalities.  My sister and I are so different, but we can appreciate the variety rather than arguing over which way is "better".  There is no "right" dream to have, just like there is no "right" favorite color for everyone.  All aspirations should be equally fought for and worked toward and valued.