Madeline is taking a little time off, so I’ll be your Morning Newsperson for awhile. Gosh, I sure wish there was something to talk about. The news is so dull right now… Oh! Wait. My bad. Here we go:
Dick Cheney did an interview with CNN’s “State of the Union” where he said that “reversing [Bush administration] anti-terrorism policies endangers Americans.” See, if a Democrat said that about a Republican President, there would be an outcry. The former VP also said the Bush administration spent so much money (remember that surplus we used to have?) because “Stuff happens,” and discusses the fact that his former boss (George W. Bush, remember him?) did not pardon Scooter Libby. That last one is interesting, I would have thought that Bush would do that. Guess not. There’s a meeting it would be fun to be a fly on the wall for. “Dude, I am SO not pardoning Scooter.” “Dude! You totally have to!” (Note: I wasn’t there, but I bet that’s not what they said.)
Some people who are out of work have decided to make their own jobs. The New York Times reports on a few folks who have found their inner entrepreneur, including Alex Andon, who makes jellyfish tanks. Seems that some people will spend big bucks for a nice home for their jellies. Who knew? If you can’t make jellyfish tanks (and if not, that’s OK, we can’t all be good at everything), maybe one of your kids could make a YouTube video asking someone to hire you.
Investigators want to freeze the assets of Ruth Madoff, wife of Bernie. My only question is why did it take them this long to decide to do that?
The space shuttle launched! Um, what’s that? You don’t care? C’mon, isn’t this still a cool thing? I remember being a kid and we were all so stoked whenever there was a launch. I guess it’s just not that big a deal anymore. This particular mission sends the Discovery to the International Space Station “to deliver and install the fourth and final pair of solar wings.” I don’t know what that is, but “solar wings” sounds really cool to me.
Demon dad Josef Fritzl will plead guilty to some charges, but not the ones that carry the really long prison sentences. There will still be a trial, which CNN says will probably last less than a week. We could learn something from those Austrians.
In my day, if a kid made clothes out of duct tape, that meant he was nerdy. Nowadays, it’s a contest, with the winner getting $3,000 in scholarship money, provided by Duck brand tape. Tough economic times have increased the number of participants: 25 last year, 80 this year. You can see lots of pics at CNN.com.
Catfight on the catwalk! Or something like that. There was a riot at the tryouts for “America’s Next Top Model” in New York City. Clearly this is the result of opening the competition up to women under 5 foot 7. Or this particular crop of “hundreds of hotties in heels” are nuts, no matter how tall they are. Who knows.
And finally, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke says that the recession could — COULD — end this year if — IF — the government can get the banks to lend money and make the financial markets “work more normally.” I don’t know about the rest of you, but I feel like a class A moron whenever people start talking about the economy. (Derivatives? What?) So all you finance types: Fix it, OK? Sheesh.
More tomorrow… same Babble time, same Babble channel…