My mother and I sometimes disagree (shocking, I know) and occasionally we argue about Oprah. (Not a lot -- don't worry, we're not obsessed or anything. We have far more important things to fight about.) She'll tell me that Oprah said this or that, and oh, isn't it wonderful, and I'll say, feh, Oprah, she's not so great, she's responsible for unleashing Dr. Phil on the world. So when mom told me that the Gayle King's best friend was doing a show about the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation, I was skeptical. Too many celebrities have been talking about the incident and not saying the right things.
For example: Sean Combs (aka Diddy or whatever the hell he calls himself these days) kind of missed the point when he told Ellen DeGeneres, "I don’t think it’s right for anybody to hit anybody…. We know sometimes relationships get ugly (but) we don’t know exactly what’s going on (in this one). It isn't right for him to put his hands on her or her to put his hands on him" -- which to me implies that somehow if Rihanna had slapped Chris, it would be OK if Brown gave her a black eye. Which it isn't. Ellen, for her part, gets it right when she says that she doesn't want any girl to think that "it's OK to go back to a guy that hit her," although she says it in a very wishy-washy manner ("I don't want to judge" anyone, that sort of thing) and lets Diddy to the hook too easily ("I want to dance!"). Yes, her show isn't exactly "60 Minutes," but this also isn't a fluffy issue. If you're going to bring it up, you should be clear how you feel, and if possible get the last word. (Here's a clip if you missed it, which would be understandable. I never watch that show.)
Back to Oprah. I didn't watch the whole segment (hey, I'm busy) but I feel confident that the tone she took with was the correct one based on
this quote:
"Love doesn't hurt. And if a man hits you once, he will hit you again."
See, it really is that simple. I understand that the charges against Brown are pending, and as Diddy so brilliantly points out, none of us were in the car with the young couple when the incident occurred. But Brown has shown no remorse at all. More disturbing is the way that many of Brown's peers are defending him, and that anyone thinks his alleged actions are OK. Grammy-winning Rapper T.I. said on Carson Daly's talk show that he told Brown "this too shall pass." He went back on that statement, perhaps when he realized that Daly's show is actually broadcast on television, which is a mistake I can understand. And Usher backtracked on his earlier statement that Brown should "have a little bit of remorse" about what happened, and not hit the jet skis at Diddy's house. (Good thing he apologized -- that's crazy talk!)
Brown dropped out of the Kids' Choice Awards, which was a good PR move, but it's also somewhat irrelevant, since his statement just said something about it being difficult to "focus on the music" with all of this other stuff going on. Oprah used my line (OK, other people said it too) and called this a great "teaching moment." Problem is, I'm not so sure that the right lesson is being taught. It's important to everyone, but especially important to parents, since many of our kids are still young enough to not have formed opinions about this issue yet. (Some of those kids, though, are much smarter than our celebrities, which is always nice to see.)
For me this is a simple issue. While legally what Brown did falls into the category of "allegedly," he hasn't denied it, and in fact has basically admitted that he beat up Rihanna. Rihanna got back together with him and decided not to press charges. Anyone who says anything about this issue in public needs to be very clear because many of Brown's fans are young and for better or worse they sometimes take their cue from celebrities. Hitting your girlfriend is wrong. If your boyfriend hits you, leave. Why is that so hard?
Source: Oprah.com
Image from here
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