Strollerderby

As a member of a military family myself I can assure you that she and her husband were well aware of the possibility that she could be activated at any time during the remainder of her enlistment contract. They new about IRR when they enlisted, they have colleagues who were reactivated, and they were aware of that potential when they were preparing for discharge. IRR is not the same as 'stop loss' and she accepted her discharge fully informed of the length of her remaining commitment. Although civilians may be uninformed and unfamiliar with the IRR those in the armed services are not. Military families have to make many, many sacrifices but it is part of the service and something they accept when they volunteer.

How ridiculous! If you can get out of jury duty because of childcare issues, why can't she get out of being called back?

A little off topic, but most states do not have family friendly jury duty laws. If you would like more information check out familyfriendlyjuryduty.org

Initially I thought well good for her. But as I think about it more, I wonder if her superiors wouldn't be too callous to call social services and let them deal with the kids. Or even somehow charge her with insubordination or something else that will tarnish her service record and/or see her end up in military prison. Unfortunately I think something like this will happen to her and the kids.

Lee is right in pointing out that this woman and her husband were fully informed as to these risks. They gambled it wouldn't happen but here they are. This is one of the many family oriented issues the armed forces need to address if they are going to be able to improve their enlistment and career soldier numbers.

regardless if she knew or not, what is she supposed to do? There is NO ONE to care for the children.

Was she not supposed to have children AT ALL just in case the military wanted her again?

But there IS someone to take care of the kids- their dad.  I realize it is difficult for him to deal with full-time child care logisitcally, given that he travels a lot, but people have to work these things out every single day.  The grandparents don't live nearby- what about them moving to be near?  Or sending the kids to the grandparents' for the term of the deployment?  Or dad cobbling together a support system out of paid caregivers and friends?  She's been fighting this for a year; have they really made NO arrangements in the event that her appeals are unsuccessful?

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic- I absolutely AM sympathetic, especially since we're facing a similar situation in a civilian context, where my husband is being required to take a year long position in Tokyo or lose his job.  We can't go with him, so it will be me working full time and taking care of two kids (assuming I ever have this baby, which is starting to feel will never happen!).  We don't live near either set of parents either, but my mother-in-law is planning to move nearby to help out.  I am fortunate that I don't travel a lot for work, but it's not an easy sitation regardless.

I guess it comes down to two things for me: the first is that she knew this could be an issue.  Both of them were in the Army; they both knew she could be recalled.  There does seem to be an element of her failing to take responsibility for that possibility.

And the second thing is that isn't this part of what having women in the military means? Shouldering our burdens the same as the men?  If she gets special dispensation because she's a mom, what about the dad who is recalled and is the primary caregiver- should he also get special dispensation?  And if so, where do we draw the lines?  How much should she be treated specially because she's a mom and a woman?  

Putting the situation back on the Army might be the right thing to do, as the Army, as much as any other organization that employs people with children, needs to understand that family needs are a priority for its soldiers.  But at the same time, those in the Army make a commitment, they are informed about the extent of that commitment, and it is different than working for a civilian company.

I think it is an interesting question that raises a lot of different issues, beyond just Army = bad.

Please keep us updated on this story.  I am interested to know what happens.

I'm a military wife, and the military is much more family friendly than it used to be. She probably didn't go high enough up the chain of command with her situation. If one guy doesn't listen, you talk to his boss and his boss's boss. That's how it works in the military.

Stuff like this gets sensationalized, but it isn't the norm. I hope it works out, but I don't think her commander will be too happy about her creating a media circus.

Wow, I'm honestly surprized. I live in Colorado, and I didn't realise it wasn't the norm to be let out of jury duty if you're a primary caregiver. Thanks for the eye-opener!

www.google.com/.../ALeqM5ihu3Wdjr7sGD-gcS2OY0Gx7UX-swD96LHEPO0

"Of course, she had to prove how ridiculous the Army was acting by showing up at Fort Benning with her two kids - which somehow the military expect her to hold off on having because she was on "individual ready reserve" despite her honorable discharge."

That is a very ignorant statement. You do not understand the military or the obligations she took on when she became a soldier. You make a commitment to serve. That commitment is binding. She could have settled this with her commanding officer. Instead she chose to settle it in the media. That's what they used to call "bad form."

how long does "individual ready reserve" status last?

I'm sure there have been many cases where men have been called back to duty who have had children. If they showed up for duty with their children saying there was nobody to take care of them, they would have been told it was the mother's duty, whatever kind of career she had. Saying that this should be different because she is a woman seems sexist to me. I really don't see how this is any different than a man with children being called back. Am I missing something?

I'm actually going agree with Laura here.  I don't think the military was being ridiculous in expecting her to honor the obligations that she made to them.  Granted, I'm 100 percent against everything that we're doing with our military and 1000 percent against the idea of a mother with two young children being sent into harm's way, but then again, she signed up for this, didn't she?  And since she won't be serving, someone else's mother or father or son or daughter will be.

I'm also not too crazy about the recent trend of people whining to the media and then getting their way.  It kind of gives credence to the horrible line about us being a nation of... well, whiners.  

Enlistments require an eight year commitment. If you are discharged prior to the end of that commitment you are place on IRR status. Approx. 85% of the members of the military are parents so by not fulfilling her commitment odds are another parent will be going in her place.

Why do you assume the family be without an income if the dad quit his job?  The mom would be earning an income as a soldier.

Also, the previous poster is right that the dad could find a way to make it work without having to quit his job.  If mommy were to get hit by a bus tomorrow (G-d forbid), he'd figure out a way, wouldn't he?  

Many military moms find themselves in the same situation this dad is in.  

P.S.  The military operates some of the highest quality child care in the country.  

I'm a little late to this conversation, but I have to agree with the posters who say this woman just seems a little too whiny. She did make a commitment, didn't she? And the family will have her income as a soldier, like all those other military families. It seems like she wants special treatment because she is a woman, which does not do any of us any good. It is probably hard enough for women soldiers to be viewed as equals. Stories like this just make it so much harder for them to keep face among their male colleagues, who may feel like women don't require as much of a commitment as men do.

I hope she is losing all her benefits associated with her service.  If she is still eligible for the GI bill or VA financing then there is something seriously wrong.  She knew what she signed up for and to take it a step farther, she is required to maintain a family care plan in case she is recalled to active duty.  Why should someone else take HER deployment because she wasn’t smart enough to plan in advance.  People like her give women in the military a bad name.

Just to set the record straight David.  You are not required to have a family care plan as an IRR solier.  That is only for the active-duty and reserves.  I can also understand why she would not plan for this in advance.  Our people in the IRR suppose to wait around for the military to call them for four or six years.  Do they put their life on hold because someday they may receive orders.  Me personally when I get out I am going to pursue a life of freedom from the military, and I could care less about them sending me any orders.