Playdate: Four Times the Fun Says "I Could Have Been Octomom"
Michele, mother of triplets conceived via IVF tells all in her blog “Four Times the Fun.” What does “all” include? Michele takes the uninitiated behind the scenes of IVF to discuss how hastily and under what pressure-cooker circumstances decisions are made about the number of embryos get transferred in an IVF procedure. She confesses that given her and her husband’s own seat-of-the-pants decision making on transfer day, she might have become the mother of more than triplets, herself. Here’s a sneak preview:
“[My husband] looked at me and said, “We’re already in to this thing 40 grand and it isn’t going to work, and we aren’t freezing any again. I’m not shelling out another 5000 bucks to do IVIG on frozen crappy 4 cell embryos.”
Then he looked at the doctor and said, “Put them all in. If two are really bad and not going to make it, then we aren’t freezing them, so let it play out.”
At no point when I was laying on the table with my bladder ready to explode did the doctor say to me, “Guidelines were issued in 1996 by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, with the intent to cut down the number of multiple births, particularly triplets and higher, that can result when many embryos are implanted and more than one takes. Big multiple births can lead to disastrous, life-threatening complications, lifelong disabilities such as cerebral palsy, and crushing medical costs.”
No. He said, “Okay. That sounds great. Sorry about the wait. You’ll be able to use the bed pan in just a few minutes, Mrs. S.”
Michele also casts some helpful light on the subject of fertility specialists and regulation in a post about the ethics of what Nadya Suleman’s doctor did. (The post was written before everything was known about Suleman’s case, and has some inaccuracies, but her point is unchanged, regardless.)
Perhaps most interesting and useful for those of us who haven’t undergone any fertility treatments or the difficult decisions they can entail, Michele’s commenters are largely high-order multiple moms themselves, with their own IVF or medicated IUI stories to tell.
All in all, this blog adds a lot to the conversation about fertility medicine and drawing lines about and around it.
See Also:
Eight Babies for the Price of One
Nadya Suleman’s Gift to Society: A Cautionary Tale
Really Wanna Let Octomom Have It? Leave Her Alone
Octo-Doc Not the Only One Breaking the Rules
No Great Outpouring of Support for Sudanese Mom of Quintuplets
image: metro.co.uk
We faced the same decision during our IVF. Our well educated, well thought out plan was to put 3 back. I was on the table when we discovered that we had an addition embryo that was not worth freezing. The chances of it doing anything were slim to none. We put it back.
As it turned out we did not get a pregnancy. I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if all four would have stuck around. Clearly that was not our plan. Clearly we could have had all 4 take and had regrets.
That said I still feel my DH and I had the right to make that decision. I fear that the current, high profile case is going to change all of the rules and take such choices away from couples.
I only had to have IUI and was told that my worst case scenerio would be twins. And that would have been ok.
I did have a similiar “oh God” moment though. I was told that the clomid was working and that at one point I had 8 maturing folicles. It was 3 days before the actual procedure. The nurse looked at me and said, “if they continue to mature, you might want to think about if you really want to do anything this cycle, you could get pregnant with 8 kids.” I, for one millisecond, was excited more because my body was actually working, than excited about having 8 kids. And if I would have had to make the decision right then and there, I would have went for it.
In the end, only two of the 8 continued to mature and I got pregnant with twins(and lost one at 8 weeks). My son is 6 and healthy. But yeah, it is hard to understand the thinking until you have been there. And compared to IVF, IUI is cheap. And we had insurance. I can’t imagine having spent my life savings and all that with only one chance left…..
At Stanford’s REI clinic, I was warned repeatedly about the dangers of carrying 3 or more embryos throughout the process. My doctor told me he was very much against the idea of implanting more than 3 embryos (and would only implant 3 if they were not good quality embryos).
At Kaiser in San Jose, I had medications and IUI. I was given quite strong warnings about high magnitude multiples.