Strollerderby

Everyone knows that all American teenagers – save those being raised on religious compounds or in hippie treehouses – are on Facebook.  They go there to talk, laugh, share their intimate feelings – all the things they once did with us, their parents, and now do with 928 "friends" instead. For parents who consider themselves close to their kids, it can be a little hard to take, this feeling that while you're the one paying the bills and making their dinner and washing their socks, their true emotional lives are happening somewhere else, or nowhere at all. So, remembering the old adage "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em," thousands of middle-aged parents of teenagers now find themselves on Facebook, stalking their own children.

In a first of its kind, Stanford University now offers an evening class to help these befuddled, yearning parents understand the new medium that plays such an important role in their children's lives. If along the way they become fans of beer, sleep, or Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat, so be it. And hey, knock yourself out with the "25 Things" meme (I wonder how many Stanford parents' "things" include an item about how badly the stock market has decimated their 401Ks). But don't try to friend your kids – or your kids' friends – or if you do, don't be surprised if all the kids leave Facebook for something the old folks haven't found out about yet. According to an article in the San Jose Mercury News, adults over 35 represent the fastest-growing segment of the Facebook population, but the backlash can be extreme:

Some kids say that a "friend" request from parent is like discovering Dad at your beer pong game. Or bumping into Mom in the dressing room of Forever 21.

When Facebook first opened itself to the public in 2007, students circulated an online petition called "Don't Let My Parents Onto Facebook!" to founder Mark Zuckerberg pleading for a reversal of the decision. Since then, there has been a proliferation of no parent groups, such as "For The Love of God — Don't Let Parents Join Facebook." One group is hosted by "The Bureau of Endangered Generation Gaps."

Offered free to all parents but particularly aimed at those with kids under 18, the course is intended to help parents learn about the world their kids navigate so that they can offer guidance and boundaries, enforce good etiquette and promote online safety. At the same time, the class tells parents what their kids want them to know -- don't push the boundaries, allow your teenager some space that's for her own friends, not your prying eyes. Above all, both sides say, a little balance goes a long way. As one recent college grad put it, when your mother joins Facebook, it's an opportunity for a teenager or young adult to include her in a new kind of grown-up relationship. Here's how she asked her friends to respond to her mother's presence on Facebook: 

"Please make her feel welcome. Friend request her (she has no idea what that is though "... so be patient if it takes a while), and in true Facebook fashion get drunk and write on her wall."

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