Why Do Pacifiers Piss So Many People Off?
Oh, honey, I’ve been there. Not three, thankfully (there, but for the grace of you-know-who, go I). My daughter hadn’t even hit the year mark, and we were getting the stares and the comments, the creepy old bats who’d reach in and yank the little binky out of her mouth.
What is it with the pacifier that gets so many people up in arms?
When we finally realized that my daughter would use anything she could get her lips around (a finger, my nipple . . . ) to soothe her, we finally quelled what we had thought was a serious case of colic with a pacifier. We wanted to pull the plug by six months, but when she went full bore into teething and turned up her little nose at cold washcloths, frozen bagels and rings in favor of the binky, we let her chew to her heart’s content. We were closing in on the year mark when the pacifier went bye bye – even at bedtime – and despite a few hiccups, the whole house moved on.
Tsouderos had a trickier time of it – waiting until her daughter was almost three meant explaining them away with a “fairy” who had to come to take the pacifiers off to other little girls and boys. A friend claimed a mouse (they were renting an old farmhouse at the time) had snuck in during the night and carted them away.
The thing is, my daughter, Tsouderos’ daughter, my friend’s son, they all gave up eventually – with a little parental intervention. They will not be heading to college with them, and the ending was early enough that there is no demonstrable harm to their teeth – and with that all that soothing, absolutely non to their psyches.
So why do pacifier using parents feel so guilty that they haven’t pulled the plug?
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Honestly? I’m pro-paci. Heck, I’m 14 and I still use one. XD
My mum’s always on my tail about it, but I don’t really mind. The kids in my high school think it’s strange but I don’t care what anyone else thinks.
It does screw up your teeth quite a bit though. ^^;
Branwyn: That’s always been one of my big things! You can take away a pacifier, you can’t rip off their thumb!
People who freak out too much about the use of a pacifier should read up on ALL of the pros & cons to a pacifier. When my son was in the NICU for 4 mos (he was born 16 wks early) the nurses gave him a “binky” (a Soothie pacifier made especially for preemies). I hadn’t wanted to use a binky for my child ever since I had been assigned to break my 1 yr old charge of his “Dummy habit” (they’re called dummies in the UK) while I was an au pair. Not fun especially as the mother would pop the thing back in his mouth 5 min after getting him back! But I digress…
Studies show that having an infant use a pacifier just before & while sleeping helps lessen the SIDS risk. I’m thinking that’s a good reason to use it at least for a while. Besides, it’s much easier to break them of the binky habit than it is to stop thumb sucking!!
Sara, I think if Nana is planning to use hyperbole in this kind of forum, she has to be prepared to be called on it for what it is. I didn’t miss that Nana was exaggerating on purpose, and I’m pretty sure Knitty didn’t either, but if Nana doesn’t want to discuss her underlying point by making more of an argument, I’m not sure she deserves much more response than Knitty gave her. And I missed where Knitty’s response insulted Nana’s intelligence or was otherwise insulting?
I’m still wondering why anyone cares what anyone else does with a pacifier other than themselves.
Well, Nana is using a rhetorical device, exageration in order to prove a point. Not my point, but a point none the less and attacking her and her intelligence is rather petty.
I don’t particularly like the culture of popping the binkie in and leaving the kid alone afterwards. Its better to sometimes let the baby cry and to learn how to sleep, than to start on the slippery slope of having a 5 year old who will not sleep in their own bed.
Binkies, like all things, should be used in moderation. (And that little illustration is another use of exageration, just in case anyone asks)
When my son was born, I didn’t really feel pro- or anti-paci; we just figured we’d use it as needed. It turned out that he liked it occasionally for about the first 6-8 weeks, then never took it again, which was fine by us. I really don’t care much whether someone else’s kid uses one or not.
That being said, what drove me CRAZY when he was a tiny baby was when he made a tiny little squeak when an extended family member or friend was holding him, and they freaked out and shoved the paci in his mouth. If he doesn’t actually NEED it at the moment to fulfill a sucking need, why plug him up? I started putting it away when people would come over and only pulling it out when he needed it.
What I would give for either of my kids to have used a binky. It was boob or nothing for both of them. No thumb, finger, teddy, blanket…
And who cares how long they used it? Whenever a friend gets apologetic for their 2year old with a binky, I alway remind them that my boy nursed until he was 2.5, and my girl probably will too. Same difference, I figure.
AGain, who cares? It’s not a bottle of Jim Beam!!
Knitty, you’re hilarious. LOL
Yes, Nana, allowing your child to use a paci is basically the same as tossing him into a sensory deprivation chamber. Thanks for popping in to enlighten us.
What’s the long-range diagnosis of a child having something in his mouth 24/7? How is clear pronunciation and other speaking qualities developed without those muscles being exercised all the time? Would you put blinders on a child? Maybe constant ear-plugs would be a good idea, too.
The thing about pacifiers is, as far as I understand it, they’re just another new-fangled baby invention. They seem to help in the short term but, in the longterm, seem to create a rod for your own back.
While I can see the temptation to use them in cases of colic or for those first 2-3 months while you’re going nuts with exhaustion, I don’t get it otherwise. We didn’t use them, partly because we wanted our babies to develop self-soothing mechanisms and partly because we’d seen a lot of people stick them in their children’s mouths and walk away – that wasn’t appealing to us. (It’s our job to soothe the baby and doing so helps establish a bond, right? Harder in the short term, easier in the longterm is our motto.)
However, I’m not judging YOUR use of them, I just have never seen the appeal.
Whether they make babies/toddlers seem unattractive shouldn’t really matter, though! In fairness though, I think that some people are familiar with the way that toddlers interact with the world and there’s some concern about how clean those paci/binkies/dummies actually are.
I personally find a paci face cute, unless its those fugly soothies.
I’m the new parent (and new to babble.com and these blogs) of a 3.5 week old baby boy. Before we had him, my husband and I were all, “NO PACIFIERS! NO! NO! NO! WE SHUN THE PACIS!”
Um. That was until the first night we got him home and he wouldn’t stop crying without sucking on one of our fingers. As we didn’t want to sleep with him while keeping a finger in his mouth, I made my husband find the one pacifier we got as a shower gift. . . and what a godsend it has been. We’ve even purchased more (because they also become cat toys and end up under the couch)!
Do I want my child to still have his paci at two? No. Not really, because I honestly hate the way it looks in his mouth. . . but will I freak out about it? No. If it soothes him and lets my husband and I keep our sanity, so be it.
I have learned not to judge the paci users, though. Which is good.
But the thing is, Yatesie, why do you even care? Just because it’s not aesthetically pleasing? Presumably the parents of that toddler don’t think it prevents him or her from interacting with the world around them (and as the mom of a toddler who uses a paci for naps and nighttime, I can tell you that my kid? She interacts, paci or no paci). So what does it hurt? Why the judgment?
I was surprised at the vitriol of the comments over at the article, and I echo Jeanne, gpgirl and Yvonne at wondering what the problem is. A pacifier doesn’t hurt the kid, doesn’t hurt anyone. Why so judgmental? This is not a behavioral problem that is going to mushroom in time, and it’s not a health problem (I have read that the orthodontic issues are overblown, though I’m too lazy to look for a link right now). My kid uses it to help her sleep; why is it so all-fired important that she be able to “self-soothe” on someone else’s timetable beside hers? This is one area where I lie to our pediatrician, btw. I can’t see that it impacts my kid’s health or development, so again, not sure why it matters.
I think part of it is society’s collective belief that children should grow up as quickly as possible. I’ve seen strangers be downright hostile to my friend whose two-year-old uses a pacifier, all, “isn’t she a little OLD for that?” She’s two!
GP, tell them that you can’t afford a toddler bed yet. The nice thing about this recession is that that sort of answer will shut ‘them’ right up.
While I understand that many babies have such a strong NEED to suck that they truly benefit from having a pacifier, I can’t help but be in the camp of hating seeing toddlers walking around with them all day long. Bedtime and naps or for emergencies; sure why not whatever. But if I see your kid all the time and every single Picture I see of your kid is with a binky firmly installed, there will be some judging. It’s unsightly, it hides half their face, it prevents them from interacting with the world/people around them.
I see no problems with pacifiers either. My son gave his up on his own at about 18 months. I really didn’t like it when people (always relatives) would pull it out of his mouth or tell him he didn’t need it and refuse to give it to him. Like the article says, he won’t be using it forever, so who cares if he has it?
You know that people will criticize anything. We had some extended family over during the holidays, and I got an earful because our 2.5 year-old son is still sleeping in a crib. I couldn’t get them to tell me exactly why this was bad, though. There is very little logic in these criticisms.
My son also is orally fixated. I don’t see a problem with him sucking his thumb or having a paci from time to time. It keeps him from chewing on other, more dangerous things (and people).