Kids: The World’s Best Form of Birth Control
You’ve got to laugh when someone tries convincing a childfree-by-choice
non-breeder that parenting is wonderful while her two-year-old runs
around her feet screaming. I’d give them half a Popsicle for trying.
Yes, parenting is wonderful, but boy our kids do a lot to convince
people otherwise.
This week’s Babble feature Non-Breeder: A Preschool Teacher’s Confession drives home a theory I’ve always had. Kids make great birth control.
Lauren
Johnson loves, loves, loves the adorable tots who take up her business
hours, but her home life is her escape. Come on, who hasn’t wanted to
escape their kids? Come on . . . get the snoot out of the air; it’s OK
to admit it. When they’re chucking banana at you. When they’re lying on
the floor at Toys R Us, beating their fists on the tile because they
neeeeeed a T-Rex with mechanized arms, head and feet at $59.99.
Ask a grandparent which stage of their life they like the best -
and I bet you you’ll get a dentist-like ratio. Nine out of ten will
probably agree, grandparenting rocks. Parenting . . . eh . . . it was
good then, but this is better. They can send them home with us.
I’ve heard people whine that their kid’s teacher isn’t very
understanding; she doesn’t even have kids. It’s true, kid-free folks
very often don’t get us. The ones who really don’t want kids just plain
think we’re crazy. Because our kids have convinced them – hell no, I
won’t go . . . there.
Think your friend has the making of a really great parent but they’re still on the fence? A few suggestions:
- Don’t
send your child over there when he’s snotty; if tissues are necesary,
cancel any interaction between the two parties post haste. - Keep all snack baggies of food well hidden to enhance the chances of a jam hands-free “five.”
- A napping child is a peaceful child. They always look sweeter when they’re asleep.
- Don’t . . . ever, ever, ever . . . ask them to baby-sit. There should be a parent shield present at all times.
Finally? If they work with kids all day, don’t tell them how much
different it is when it’s their own. I think they can figure that out;
it doesn’t mean it’s going to change their mind.
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