Strollerderby

Oh, please. With our first child, my wife and I both worked full time. What kept us functioning at an acceptable level of alertness was taking turns with the baby. One night she would sleep with my wife, and get nursed, the next night she would sleep with me in another room, and be fed from a bottle. This worked just fine until the little bugger was actually sleeping through the night.

I'm just a bit insulted at the insinuation that all men are oblivious hulks who, if left alone with the baby, will immediately roll over and crush it.

For me, this also raises the question of what happens when there are two moms or two dads in the picture. Or, if "biological motherhood" is the concern, what happens with adopted infants? My sense is that it is always a matter of an individual parent's sleeping habits, not gender.

men have natural protective instincts, as well.

to suggest otherwise is sexist and ignorant.

When I breast fed my kids I had to get up each time they were finished to wash off my breasts.  I would have never left the baby alone in a big bed and where should I have put her in the bathroom as I washed and got my much needed huge drink of water?  On the floor?  Nope, I put their cribs right next to my bed and put them safely in them after nursing.  I think nursing a child with germ ridden nipples is gross.  Bacteria and fungi looove milk as a grwing medium and they love dark warm places like inside a nursing bra.

We actually had the reverse experience.  We kept the baby in our bed the first three months and I was breastfeeding.  I couldn't sleep with him next to me so my husband would hold him in bed and we never had a problem with that.  He is now sleeping in his crib but when he is sick, we have him in our bed for the second half of the night and my husband still holds him.

We did not cosleep, but I have to say my husband had wonderful instincts with our baby. Nothing really came naturally to me, so I felt we were really on the same page with baby care. (My son didn't latch on for such a long time, so for the first few weeks, I would be pumping while hubby fed the baby my expressed milk, so I think that may have helped with their attachment.)

I also agree with Dana - what if the child is adopted or there are no dads?

Okay, I'll tone down my response this time as I alread went off all snarky on my comments on the other thread. My wife and I slept with out little one between us and I always felt hyper aware of her presence. The idea that only a breastfeeding mother has the instincts to sleep with an infant smacks of new-age goddess nonsense.

We co-slept with our little one for the first four months, but it was stressful for both of us.  My husband stopped using his pillow because he was so worried he'd move it while asleep and it would wind up over her face.  I had terrible nightmares about this happening and moved from the bed to the floor more nights than I can count.  Co-sleeping has lots of benefits but I'm not sure we'll do it again if we have another child.  I know people have done it for centuries but neither one of us felt like it was entirely safe.

And no, I didn't think I had any special-magical-birth-mother hormones that would prevent me from accidentally harming her.  

This idea that dads and mothers who formula feed shouldn't cosleep because they aren't "tuned in" is so unbelievable insulting.  Mothers who breast feed and their "tuning"  aren't in any way superior than mothers who formula feed or fathers.  Don't know what this  British group has against dads, but by all means let us find another way to belittle mothers who formula feed, for whatever reason.

Just one more $.02, for those of you afraid of bumping/rolling onto your little one, I found the sleep positioner to be very helpful. I would snug up to that thing and my baby would still have plenty of breathing/wiggle room.

I'm a formula feeding, co sleeping mom, and the thought that I'm not as tuned in to my baby at night is insulting! I already have a lot of grief over the fact that I was not able to breastfeed...cosleeping with my baby has been a wonderful way to physically connect with him even though I couldn't nurse him. Both me and my husband have been amazed at how incredibly tuned in and vigilant we have become toward our baby when he's in bed with us.

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Alice said:

When I breast fed my kids I had to get up each time they were finished to wash off my breasts.  [...] I think nursing a child with germ ridden nipples is gross.  Bacteria and fungi looove milk as a grwing medium and they love dark warm places like inside a nursing bra.

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NO breastfeeding professionals advise washing the nipples before or after feeding as a hygienic precaution. On the contrary, when nipple problems occur, the advice is to eliminate or decrease washing the nipples with soap, and smear some expressed milk on the nipples  - since it contains healing anti-bodies.