Quick, what's more likely: getting hit by lightning or having a child fall victim to stranger abduction? If you think it's the stranger danger, chances are you've been watching too much local news and seen too many Amber alerts (it's not even close: while about 100 children are kidnapped each year by non-family members, around 1300 people are struck by lightning). Today's parents, according to an article in the Washington Times, are not only more aware of potential dangers than our parents were, we've gone off the deep end, worrying about our kids far out of proportion to the actual threats they face.
And what are the biggest culprits? Besides the popular media, blame gadgetry. From GPS devices to track down "lost" kids (what could be more fun than to run away and hide from mom and dad, especially if they've already got you in a house-arrest ankle bracelet?) to nanny cams to kneepads for crawling babies, an avalanche of safety-themed merchandise is throwing itself at parents who see their main job as just keeping little Aiden, Jayden and Hayden alive. But what's their impact on actual parenting? Do worried moms and dads instill their babies with love, or fear?
Some experts worry that fear itself is driving a smothering, restrictive parenting style that leaves kids essentially unprepared for independent adulthood. It's not as if we can turn back the clock and let our kids spend hours of each day playing without adult supervision -- if only because it would be nearly impossible to find other kids for them to play with -- and nobody would suggest ditching truly useful safety devices like carseats and sunscreen (though, yes, many of us grew up just fine without them). But relaxing a bit, letting kids grow and learn and even make mistakes without the constant presence of a hovering parent will stand them in good stead.
The article quotes Paul J. Donaghue, a psychologist who has written about parenting and fear, who says a parent's job is "not just about keeping kids safe. If they are
safe but you are anxious, it is not helping them in the long run. If
they are safe and independent, you are giving them tools for their
whole life. They have to practice being independent, and parents have
to practice managing their own anxiety."
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http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2008/11/12/they-say-text-messaging-can-fight-childhood-obesity.aspx
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