As Jeanne Sager recently pointed out in her essay, “Baby
Names Gone Wild,” naming children after fruit, dance moves, and positive
adjectives is all the rage these days. And with multiples births on the rise due
to fertility treatments, I got to thinking about twins with, shall we say, unusual names.
I put out the call to my family and friends for the most interestingly christened
twins they’d ever encountered. Here I present the winners. (Tyler and Tiara--pictured--did not make the cut, and no, I don't know why they're wearing shoulder pads.)
1.) Felton and Belton. Representing the great Southern tradition
of rhyming names, these boys are my grandmother’s brothers from Alabama. (I also have a cousin named Jimmy Ray, after his parents, Ray and Jim. But I digress.)
2.) Unique and Uniqua. Each is a pretty enough name on its
own. But put them together, and you kind of negate the merits of both.
3.) Otto and Gotto. Gotto clearly got the rough end of that
deal.
4.) Dawun and Daottawun. Read them out loud phonetically and
cringe.
5.) Dee and Zee. These names are cute when the babies are getting pushed around in a double stroller,
wearing matching onesies. Now picture Zee alone at a job interview twenty years
later.
6.) Twina and Twinba. Apparently, an indecisive mother liked the
simplicity of the “Twin A” and “Twin B” on her babies’ hospital cribs a little too
much….
7.) Lemon and Orange.
Words fail.
8.) Duck and Chick. I can't decide which of these girls hates her parents more....
9.) LeWasher and LeDryer. French people are hilarious.
10.) Flutenoy and Bakusy. Naming ingenuity begins and ends
with these boys’ parents. Sorry, creative namers, but it's time to throw in the towel. You'll never compete with a name like Flutenoy.
Photo: personalbaby.com
