Strollerderby

I know these posts come fast and sometimes don't garner very many replies, but I hope someone reads this and has words of wisdom for me!  My eldest (5th grade) plays the violin.  Some days he says he HATES it and can't understand why he has to play this "lame, dumb musical instrument."  I calmly hold my ground and tell him that learning to read, understand and play music is a great skill - a gift - and that dad and I learned how to play musical instruments at his age and ended up really enjoying being in bands and orchestras when we hit high school and beyond.  

No doubt there are eyes being rolled out there, but in our family learning about music (how to read and perform it) is a key value.  We are not harsh about his level of play - we are pretty hands-off - just reminders about practicing and transport to lessons and recitals.  The thing is, after each lesson and/or recital he is always beaming.  I don't sit at the lessons (I drop off/pick up) so it's not like I'm there with a pencil at the ready to jot down his errors.  I just check in with his instructor every couple of weeks to make sure he's still on track and find out if there's anything she wants us to work on more at home.

I praise him when he's done well working through a challenging piece and help him figure out tough passages when he is struggling.  So - my question is - when he says "I HATE this" is he really saying "I would rather play yu-gi-oh right now" or is he really miserable?  I might be in denial, but I really don't think it's killing him.  I mean I remember scuffing my feet on the way to music lessons at his age, but I am REALLY happy to have learned to play two instruments and am grateful to know how to read and understand music as an adult.

Thank you, Jeanne.  One of my son's main "faults" is his lack of desire to do something that he's not automatically good at.  Violin is hard work some days.  I think that's part of what's at play here.  But he is a visibly happy child so I'm sticking with the violin lessons for now!!

BBGMOM, I think you are right to encourage your son to stick with it. Hopefully he will one day be as happy as you are to be musically talented. My parents were wonderful, but they never made me stick with anything. Like many kids, I was ready to quit when I got tired of practicing. I was never pushed to continue anything, and I am now a completely talentless person. I can't blame this all on my parents, because I could have tried harder, or taken something up later in life. Still, I sort of wish they had made me stick with something.