Strollerderby

Babble Ethics: Confronting Racists with Kids

So let's say you're out antiquing with your child and you wander down an aisle only the hear a man yapping on a cell phone. You're already kind of annoyed by the guy because he's talking with the volume of a jackhammer in a library.

But it gets worse.

"Dude," he says into the phone, as you shuffle by with your child in your arms, "You've got to hire me a couple mexicans to help move this thing. Uh huh. Uh huh. Everyone needs a good beaner now and then."

Excuse me?

What hillbilly century do you live in, moron? This is acceptable talk to you in public places?

It's one thing to think you'll always stand up for what's right, especially in front of your kids, but it's another thing altogether to feel their weight in your arms and worry about their safety if you do something like confront a total stranger who clearly lacks a brain. And yet, saying nothing gives the impression that this kind of imbecility is A-OK for public discourse.

So here's my question: Do you say anything to him? And if so, what?


+ DIGG + STUMBLE

Comments

 

chyna823 said:

Someone like that isn't going to have his mind changed by anything a more reasonable person has to say. If you're really compelled to say something, maybe "Can you please watch your language around the kids?" might at least get him to shut his trap in public.

September 17, 2008 8:26 AM
 

Manjari said:

I don't know if I would say anything to the guy, but I would talk to my kids about what they heard. I like chyna823's suggestion, and I've said that to people that have used foul language around my kids before.

What really makes me sad is when the idiotic bigot is the one with a child. In college I worked at a toy store that did not accept personal checks. A mom came in with her daughter (about 3 years old), made her selections and came to the counter to pay with a check. She was so bent out of shape that we wouldn't take her check, she bent down to her adorable little girl and said, "See those people... They're Indians, and they're shit." What a thing to say to one's child!

September 17, 2008 9:01 AM
 

mary said:

I wouldn't say anything to the man #1: A lot of people are nuts and you or your kid might get physically hurt. #2: As repugnant as his little speech was, he has a right to say it.

What you can do is stop your child, preferably in earshot of this man, and ask the child if they heard what the man just said. If you get a "yes" answer, then you need to express *your* right to free speech by saying that what he said was wrong, why, etc. Most normal people will be embarassed to be called out like this.

September 17, 2008 9:21 AM
 

mags said:

Here's some breaking news:  Racism in Detroit is really out of hand.  Film at 11.  Really, though - I was in a grocery store there owned by a Middle Eastern family.  The woman checking out in front of us (African-American) started yelling at her son while he was picking out some candy.  She told him that since this was an "Arab" store he needed to know what he wanted and how much it costs because "Arabs" are thieves and will rob you blind.  She also peppered this "life lesson" with some really nasty and offensive language.  It just makes me so sad and angry.  How are things ever going to improve there if this is what kids are being taught?  At the same time, what can you say?  I guess all you can really do, as you all have said, is teach your own children how wrong it is.  Such a shame.  

September 17, 2008 9:40 AM
 

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) said:

You raise a good point, Mary, and as a former reporter it didn't occur to me at all that he shouldn't be able to say it -- just that it shouldn't go unanswered.

September 17, 2008 10:53 AM
 

CoolAuntieTina said:

My cousin married a guy who owns a landscaping company. It's always nice to hear their 4-year-old son say that he "hates Mexicans". I just want to tell him that his daddy's unethical and illegal business practices (undocumented workers, anyone?) is the reason he lives in a McMansion and has every toy imaginable. Just sick.

September 17, 2008 12:49 PM
 

hopeful said:

On the bright side... many children grow up to be free and independent thinkers that can form their own opinions despite what they were taught (good or bad) when they were children.

September 17, 2008 1:35 PM
 

LAS said:

I think if the racial epithet is inappropriate (which it is), then it's inappropriate whether or not kids are present. Saying "not in front of the children," then, isn't the way to go.

September 17, 2008 2:24 PM
 

Alice said:

I noticed how you felt it was okay to use the term "beaner" but not the "n wortd" in your piece.  Nice example of racism.

September 17, 2008 2:47 PM
 

chyna823 said:

If he'd said "b-word," would anyone have known what he meant?

September 17, 2008 3:01 PM
 

feefifoto said:

You say pointedly to your child: "What that man said was wrong and hurtful and we don't talk that way."  If the racist hears your comment, even better, but your main focus is your child.

September 18, 2008 3:41 PM

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