Teen pregnancy is certainly foremost on the nation’s brain
these days. With one in three girls in the U.S. pregnant before the age of 20,
this is not a bad thing. But many commentators are concerned that the national
dialogue about teen pregnancy that has resulted from the Palin affair has
made teen moms seem like heroes. I’m concerned, more specifically, that few have questioned whether shotgun
weddings between teen parents-to-be are the best way out of a very difficult
situation.
The Palin family has been careful to stress that Bristol Palin and her baby
father’s, Levi Johnston, will eventually get married. Bristol may have gotten pregnant by accident
out of wedlock, but she’s keeping the baby and she will marry the father—so she
gets a standing ovation at the Republican National Convention. In other words, there’s
nothing wrong with getting pregnant as a teen, so long as the accidental
pregnancy gets turned into a traditional family unit.
There is no doubt that marriage can be the best choice for
teen couples who are truly in love and committed to raising their baby together.
But let’s not forget that there are numerous options available to teen parents.
The couple could stay together but delay marriage until they feel certain that
they want to spend their lives with each other. This would improve
their odds of staying together, since teen marriages are two to three times
more likely to end in divorce than adult marriages. Or the couple could break up, but
co-parent the baby, along with the help of both of their families.
Clearly, Bristol
and Levi are under undue pressure as teen parents-to-be. “Having the eyes of
the entire country staring at you because of your baby’s mama’s mama is the
biggest shotgun to aim at a young man’s head,” writes Marlene Davis in the Vancouver Sun. Not to
mention the perks offered to Johnston
by agreeing to play the part of father- and husband-to-be. Any 17-year-old,
even one who proclaims himself a “f****n redneck” who doesn’t want kids, would have a hard time making a decision based on his authentic desires in this
scenario.
But what about teens who don’t have the eyes of the world on
them as they navigate the very difficult decisions they are faced with after an
unplanned pregnancy? Marriage, particularly the first few years, is difficult
even for mature couples in their 30s, who have solid working lives and are
absolutely certain of their commitment to one another. Should this difficulty
be added to the trials of raising a baby at 17?
Photo: Rick Wilking,
Reuters
Related Post:
Is Teen Really Marriage That Bad?
