You know feminism has succeeded when the world’s first spa devoted
solely to toning vaginal walls opens up in New York City. That’s right, ladies: now you can pamper yourselves with Kegel exercises and
cosmetic laser treatments to tighten your vulva skin—because in the words of Dr. Lauri Romanzi, the innovative
founder of Phit (Pelvic Health Integrated Techniques), postmenopausal women’s
vaginas can become downright “scrotal.” Ew! Scrotums are gross.
Fortunately, for only $150 the charming Dr. Romanzi will
give you a personal diagnosis of your pelvic fitness. Then she’ll prescribe a
regimen of pelvic exercises that she prefers to call “personal training.” She may even suggest that you buy your very
own electrostimulation machine to improve your pelvic muscle tone. (Don’t get
too excited: they don’t vibrate.)
You may be surprised to learn that many medical
professionals think “pelvic fitness” is nothing but a joke. While pelvic
exercises are sometimes prescribed for women with minor urinary incontinence, several
gynecologists interviewed for the New York Times story on Phit said there is no
medical reason for healthy women to pursue a “pelvic fitness” regimen. As one
white-robed naysayer put it, “The common practice in gynecology is we treat
where there is a problem."
But Dr. Romanzi takes a more aesthetic view of preventive care. “If you can vote and you
have a vagina, you should do these [pelvic exercises],” she said, leaving me to
wonder: What the hell does voting have to do with it? I don’t know about yours,
but my hoo-hoo could care less about politics. Maybe I should enroll her in a political science class right after her personal training session....
Photo: New York Times
