Madeline and her faithful readers have come up with a bevy of rude, ruder, and rudest questions to ask a pregant women. I can't help but add my two cents with a short but rude list of questions I got during my two pregnancies.
But before I do, let me just say that I am wholeheartedly committed to deepening people's understanding of how LGBT couples become parents. I know that often times what looks like homophobia is simply misinformation and that, armed with the facts, people are far more likely to be comfortable with and accepting of lesbian and gay families. But pregnancy brings out the sensitive in all of us, gay or straight, so here are five questions that, in my opinion, should be googled, not asked:
1. Do you know the father?
Darlin', there is no father. There is a donor, and maybe I know him and maybe I don't, but either way it's no business of yours.
2. Did you consider adoption?
We did. DId you?
3. What is the baby going to call you?
Ms. W. and Ms. C. Lesbians are nothing if not formal.
4. Do you hope it's a girl?
The fact that lesbians want to have sex with women doesn't mean we want to populate the planet with them. It's 2008, people. The Marge Piercy novels are out of print and Holly Near is married to a man. Lesbian Separatism is (mostly) dead.
5. Was IVF just a fortune?
I don't know. I didn't have IVF. I had Artifical Insemination. And so did the vast majority of other pregant lesbians, some of whom actually made it a DIY job. (WIth a syringe, not a turkey baster.)
So there's my list. What can you add?
