Twice.  At Lowe's, while pushing around my twin daughters, pregnant with #3.  From different guys:

"You do know how that keeps happening, right?"

(Okay, I get it.  Sane people don't have a set of twins then another one spaced 10.5 months apart.  It was probably just a fear reflex that made them open their mouthes in the first place)

at the grocery store with my husband while i was 8 months pregnant a man just came up and asked "do you know how to clean diapers? you cant get those disposable ones. you need to learn how to clean them yourself." then he turns to my husband and says "you need to start teaching her how to do those things because she needs to do them once that baby comes"

i have never in my life had THAT strong of an urge to punch a man in the balls as that moment

40 weeks pregnant with the world's largest baby...male SVP in company tells me that if I scrub my kitchen floor and take castor oil baby will come...baby will come when baby wants to come, jack***.

How about the classic: "was it planned?"

I remember cringing at the horror stories people wanted to tell me about their own 36-108 hour labors.  I didn’t want to hear about anyone's awful experience much less in great detail, when I was trying to prepare for the most incredible and miraculous event of my life.

At the Wendy's drive thru, I was alone but ordering lunch to take home for me and my husband. And the guy taking my oder/money asked me when I was due. And when I told him it was a few weeks away. He asked me "are you sure you're not having twins?" Little did he know I was having twins....but how rude!!! And do I need to hear that when I'm ordering 2 full meals by myself?

The whole have girls trying for a boy comments have been just horrible this time around.  Before we knew it was a boy we were constantly being asked if we were "hoping" for a boy and once we found out everyone has been congratulating us on "the boy" as if we would have been disappointed had it been different.  Often this happens right in front of our two girls - most of these people are over the age of 60 and I know they mean well but I still want to punch them.

My second pregnancy I went to get my hair done, and this woman sitting next to me tells me her daughter had lost twins about as far along as I was.  And she went into detail, about how well formed they were and all.  Little did she know that my son was a twin and I lost his twin very early on in that pregnancy.  I really didn't know how to respond.  

I do know that I screwed up when someone asked me how far along I was, and my question back to them was, "how far along do you think I am???"   It wasn't good.....he guessed 24 weeks....I was on week 13.

I guess this isn't rude, per say, but I am so tired (at 31 weeks) of being asked when I am due. I am going to start saying December just to see the looks on people's faces!!

I got tired of hearing, "Are you Catholic?" when I got pregnant with baby number 2.  

The question that bugged me the most, being not quite 2 weeks post-partum, <i>"When are you having another?"</i>  That just floored me.

I'm always horrified when I hear people ask those things. But lemme tell ya, adoptive parents get some humdingers, too. Why do people think they have a right to ask about personal things.... especially when the child is standing right there?!?!!

Relax people, really. Folks are just interested, that's all. Do you always say the perfect thing??

"Are/were they natural?" (with regard to my twins) totally drives me bonkers.

I had so many people ask how far along I was, which is fine... but then follow up with a comment on how huge I was and how I looked like I could have the baby next week.  This started on week 20.  I stopped going to the place I get my nails done because the exchange was inevitable.  7 weeks pp I went back there for some reason and mentioned I wanted my nails short because I had a newborn at home and didn't want to inadvertently scratch her.  The woman said to me "Oh, you already had your baby? I thought you were still pregnant."  Wow. That made me feel just great.

..oh and a classic male co-worker comment. I was about 4 months along and he overheard me and a gf talking about it in the elevator. He said - "Congrats you are pregnant!  I figured you were... it would be hard to get that fat that fast."

No, people are just thoughtless and rude.

I have a good post-partum question:

Whenever someone learns that my son weighed 10.5 lbs at birth, they ask, "Did you have a c-section?" And even though the answer is yes, I always fight the urge to comment about how my vajayjay will never be the same.

1. "Are you an unwed mother?" the supermarket checkout boy asked me, seeing me with my two toddlers, with no ring on my finger. (My ring was too tight with all the baby weight gain.)

2. A male coworker was walking behind me when I was 8 months pregnant. He said, "you're really starting to waddle now." I should have responded, "you're really starting to go bald now!"

At Costco an employee called out to me from across the isle that I was going to have a boy because I was carrying all my weight in the back. Thanks lady for telling me I have a fat ass. In front of everyone. Awesome.

ps. I did have a boy. :)

This did not actually happen to me, but it did happen to a friend of mine....while shopping at the mall, a woman asked " So, are you keeping the baby?".  Seriously.

When I was pregnant the second time, I frequently got the "So, are you hoping for a girl?" question, since our first is a boy. We said we didn't care- we'd be happy either way. After we found out we were having a second boy (and we were thrilled!), people made the sympathetic face and said, "aww... well, maybe next time!"

Yeah... or not...

I second, "Was it planned?" and "When are you having the next one?"

I would also like to add saying to a pregnant woman, "Are you going to do it naturally?"  There is no correct answer to this.  If you say, "Yeah," then they smugly laugh and say, "Oh , just wait," or (my favorite) "No one gives you a prize for not getting an epidural."  If you say, "No, I want an epidural," then they tell you all the epidural horror stories they know.  

I had fun telling everyone who had never had a baby that I planned to have drugs, but not an epidural.  That confused them and shut them up.

A friend was at the doctor's for the first 'booking appointment' after having just discovered that she was pregnant with her second. Her first was 7 years at the time and she herself in her early 30's and she was quite ecstatic at this.

The conversation with the doc went as follows:

Doc: So, how can I help you today?

Friend: Well I just found out I am pregnant and....

Doc: and you want to get rid of it, right? OK!

OMG!  I can so relate to so many!  Although, I do walk around with my foot in my mouth on most days, so I feel for peeps who ask silly questions, but what is it about being visibly pregnant that calls out for open discussion on your body?!  And, I totally respect my elders, but I got some newfound respect for my own momma when the "experienced" (ie, 50+) moms at work started unleashing the advice.

I worked up some responses in my head to those nosy questions but I never felt nasty enough to use them...(Q: "Was it planned?"  A: "No! Do you think I should keep it?")  

I work for a small Catholic publisher, and one of my coworkers is a priest. He's a great guy, but just the other day he saw me (after being away for a few weeks) and actually said, "Wow, you're looking a little chunky now!"

I get the "how are you feeling?" a lot, which can get tiresome after the thousandth time, but it's OK.

The question that annoys me the most right now is "Have you thought of any names yet?" We have, months before I even got pregnant, but we're not telling anybody for various reasons. So I don't blame people for asking the question, because it's a totally common one, but I just don't know how to rephrase our ambiguous answer when the same people keep asking over and over.

Thank goodness nobody's been rude to me! I probably would just break down and cry :)

It wasn't so much the questions that bothered me when I was pregnant, it was everyone's incessant need to touch, tap, jiggle, and rub my stomache.  I don't understand how a complete stranger could be compelled to touch you in a place that, while pregnant, is very protected and personal.

worst question i was asked in my third pregnancy, over and over and over and over, and then a couple of times more, was "is this your first?" my first son was stillborn at 41 weeks, and my second pregnancy ended in a 2nd trimester miscarriage.  i know people were just trying to make small talk, but many people have had at least one miscarriage, if not far worse and more, and it's a dumb question anyway.  if i say, "yes," then i get some crappy unsolicited parenting advice.  if i say, "no," then the next question is, "so how many do you have at home?"  there's no win.  i started saying, "no, we lost our first," which ends the dumb questions but is a real conversation killer.

the worst question i wasn't asked was for permission to touch my belly.  if someone asks if they can, and i know it's coming, i don't mind it at all, but it is incredibly rude to reach out and touch another adult's midsection in the workplace or standing in line at the grocery store.  i hate that!

I'm only 10.5 weeks, and we started telling people really early (like 6-7 weeks). The WORST questions/comments that I got were ones like "Wow, I can't believe you're telling people already. Aren't you worried about miscarriage?" and then launching into horror stories about women they know who miscarried.

My neighbor was like "You gotta keep it in the back of your head." and I replied "NO! It should NEVER be in the back of your head. The next time that you mention miscarriage to me I'm going to smack you upside the head and not feel bad about it!"

My husband keeps asking why I don't want to hang out with them lately. I tell him they're just too annoying to me right now :-<

Here's some of my faves (I'm due any day and still getting them)

A not very bright male co worker, seeing me arrive at work with a walker for my Pelvic Girdle Pain, went 'yeah, my wife gained 55 pounds too'. Uh, first off, my inability to walk has nothing to do with weight, and I had only gained 30 pounds.

Before I got the walker, I was limping down the hall in pain one day, and the CEO started walking in the other direction, imitating my 'pregancy waddle'. What a comedian.

"ARE YOU SURE THERES ONLY 1 IN THERE?" I get this every time I go out in public. It grows very tiresome.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Yes, and I'm not telling, because I'm pretty sure you won't like any of them. OR, even better, I've had a few people say 'well as long as you dont name her something like -----' which is actually what we're naming her. Boy, will they feel dumb later.

At 6 months - "Won't be long now, huh?"

Finally, this is an exchange that happens a lot, and drives me crazy. I've had a hard pregnancy and am in pain a lot. So when people ask me how I am, I rarely say 'peachy', cause, well, that would be a lie. But still, is this really necessary?

"SO, how are you?"

"Me: Tired."

"You think you're tired NOW? Just wait till the baby's born! Cackle, cackle, cackle..."

I think my absolute least favorite was the woman in Target who asked if my son was adopted. He was a 30-week preemie and weighed 5 lb when we brought him home. I'd lost all my pregnancy weight by then and apparently didn't look post-partum enough to have a newborn-sized baby.

Cuando una chica embarazada comenta a su amiga "estoy embarazada" y esta amiga responde : ¿Y lo vas a tener?

I often get: “When are you due?” and I'm not even pregnant. I just carry some weight on the tummy. Most of the times, I answer: “In a few years, maybe.”

Believe it or not, I've actually been asked, "Were you not on birth control?" by coworkers! I was incredulous! I suppos it's because my boyfriend and I are not married. I retorted with, "Well, babies can be made whether you're on birth control or not." Her response... "Well, are you at least getting married? You know it's the right thing to do." I just said, "Well, I haven't asked him yet." ;-) Any other personal, insensitive questions are answered with a loud and raucous fart. (My baby makes me gassy!) If they're going to be rude enough to ask those kinds of questions, I have no qualms with being rude back!! And... it works!