Somehow a mocking Tim Allen "Rrraahrr uhrr uhrr" seems an appropriate response.

I had to laugh at the Playboy subscription - I got my hubby Maxim for his birthday in April (couldn't quite justify Playboy, so I thought Maxim was a pretty good alternative, LOL). This Father's Day he's getting floor mats for his brand spanking new black Dodge Ram Quad Cab with lift kit, lol, the result of his turning 30 this year  :)

I got my man an Escalade for Dad's day and promised to pull the lever for McSame in Nov. ugh.

Here's a tip for Charlene.  The singing fish was NEVER funny.  

this stinks

Yeah the best thing to give him are BOOBS, only if you want your mom to leave your dad. Honestly Mike what were you thinking!!

I think you should go beyond the norm.... everything Mike said is normal. For Father's Day I'm getting my father a sports massage. My father works out a lot and loves bball. His body is always in pain afterwards... think of things like that.

Um, what the heck happened to the actual kids making/buying/at least picking out the gifts for dear ol' dad? This isn't Man Day, it's Father's Day; a day to celebrate being a father to your children. Since when has meat, fire, alcohol, boobs or tools been a symbol of fatherhood, or even a welcome gift from your child (well, maybe the tools...damn those bicycle instructions!)?

A real dad would concentrate on the gifts from his child(ren), not whether he got some Cuervo and porn.

No wonder dads get a bad rap by society, with "articles" like these reinforcing the stereotype of drunken, bumbling fools that'd rather look at boobs than care for their kids.    

OK< this article really sucks. How long did it take to write, 2 minutes? First of all, any decent Father shouldn't or wouldnt care what they got from their kids as long as it was given with love. The best gifts my Husband ever gets are the homemade ones or the ones that he can wear and proudly display what a great Father his kids thinks he is. A box of meat...wth is that? What, so he can cook for everyone? Sure my Husband loves to cook and loves great meat but thats something we have regardless of what day of the year it is, it doesnt have to be Father's day in order to have "meat" oh boy! Give me a break and go back to writing for your Sunday school.

I liked the ideas. I've pretty much done them all before.  Got him a new 12 gauge over under this year. Remember it's fathers day it's what he wants not what he want him to have.

you hit the nail on the head with those gift ideas mike!about the subscription, mike was probably thinking like every other man on the planet - boobs are great! if youe significant other leaves you because of a subscription to boobs then their probably shallow and you would be better off without them!

I agree Bob. Mike and Charlene are complete idiots...how the hell did this article get on here. It sounds as though the 2 of them have no children at all. I mean come on, we are talking about Fathers day! Mike, it may be fine and dandy in your family for you to get your Mom a King Dong from dildo world for Mother's day but here in America, here on earth....that isn't the norm.

All of you who are agreeing are really pathetic. So, your 5 yr old or 15 yr old should gift you with playboy or hustler? Yes, it may be what the Father would like but think about it! It is also a day for children to honor their Fathers for being such great men, great role models( not that there are many of those left in these days) so yeah sure...how about that subscription now....

I personally wear ties six out of seven days a week.  My children take pride in picking out ties that are non-fad and not cheesy.  I am a professional and they admire me for my appearance in the workplace.  

Most fathers already have some sort of grilling machine (gas,charcoal,wood,etc).  I go for the "toys".  I have mitts, tongs, baskets of all shapes and sizes, and turners.  I get reasonable attachments for my grill that I would use and not send to GoodWill.

Leisure for a Dad/Father/Grandfather/Husband is usually not high on the list because they are properly focused on their family.  Gifts that encourage leisure activiites for the man of the house show that someone cares about his happiness.

As for subscriptions, porn or plain would and should be discussed before ordering.  I am not a motor head so getting Car&Driver is a bad idea.  Instead of magazines, try DVDs of his favorite movies.

Finally, gift certificates to his favorite stores (limited options) and favorite restaurants (wider possibilites) are always a good thing.

well, my hunny (and father of kids) already has meat...cooks all the time, fire, built the pit by himself. we have a bar, even though he barley drinks, he has a script to Playboy, we read the "articles" together. and tools? if i pick up one more tool from the yard or some random place....ill flip...

looks like ill have to stick with a blow job lol plus...thats free

I ALWAYS OPT FOR GIFT CERTIFICATES.GAS CARDS THIS YEAR

WILL BE APPRECIATED.

Wayne, you should start writing the articles for Mike!

I really like your ideas and unlike Mike's, yours show what Father's day is all about!

Two thumbs up for Wayne! =)

Whatever I could say about this article Bob & Sarah said it for me. They're 100% right, it's a day where kids celebrate their DAD, other than the tools the rest of the list is CRAP.

I would have to say, as a girlfriend, I would have no problem giving a gift of playboy to my guy.  However, as a daughter I would rather that I'm the very last thing that would ever cross my dad's mind when looking at playboy.

Did anyone else find the "Horse Division" kinda funny/creepy on the Harris Ranch Beef web site? ;-)

I like to get my dad something we can do together.  This year it is baseball tickets, right behind home plate.  I'd NEVER give my dad porn.  Tools? maybe.  Meat? not unless I am trying to give him a heart attack.

As for what I want?  well, a BJ from the wife is always nice, but really I'd just like a day out with my son.  Maybe go get lunch, see a movie, get ice cream......a daddy day.  And honestly I cherish those home made, finger painted, Popsicle stick and glitter glued, construction paper, hand crafted expressions of his Love.  

Wow.

He's actually suggesting that I get my father PORN for Father's  day?  

Gee, thanks for the useless advice.

And how, exactly, does a box of meat or some tools demonstrate that you put anymore thought into his gift than you would have if you'd gotten him a tie or a "#1 Dad" hat?

I'm surprised at the language of the article.  I don't have kids but I'm a teacher and I know my students are online all the time.  I found this article as a link from yahoo and there's always a chance some of them will find this article.  Suggesting blowjobs, even in jest?  Boobs?  Alcohol?  Did we forget that this is FATHER'S day?  Kids getting things their parent?

I may be from WV but I wouldn't want to give my dad a bj.  What a stupid comment.  Wayne is the man!!! His comments are right on.  Doesn't matter what the gift if it is given in love.

I guess, from all these comments, that I am the only adult that gets his father anything for Father's Day.  Eeryone called out Mike as if he thought that 10 year olds should or even could get get subscriptions of Playboy.  Lighten up everyone.  Maybe for Father's Day we could get our Dads a Holy Bible and a few tips on passing judgement on people with 18th century morals?  Maybe I'm old fasion but I enjoy Playboy, Steaks (grilled over charcoal not gas), anything with a motor in it, and a cold beer.  Perhaps that could be wrong but lets not forget that wives, children, friends, and even parents buy gifts for all the fathers in their lies.

Lets be honest and see what would happen if we just had our kids give the wife a finger painting. I know I better go to the store, and every man I know better too! Thanks Mike for a good laugh and for having the guts to say what most men would like to have happen on Fathers day... The same thing that BETTER happen on Mothers day.

Ladies, go shopping for what your man really wants, have the kids make or buy something from them and then get on your knees with a smile...

OMG I dont know about you mike but i dont want to give my dad a BJ or a subscription to boobs ! Dads also have daughters you know and I guess nothing says respect like porn huh?Please!!

I thought this was hilarious. I'm a 14 yr. old daughter and i know my dad really would appreciate this stuff. ( I wouldn't give him the boobs as a present, but still). These other people need to LIGHTEN UP. What did they get their dad for father's day? A bible? And Mike wasn't trying to get your toddelers to give daddy Playboy or anything for Fathers Day. These are ment for the wife or somthing to give to dad, in case you knumbskulls hadn't figured that out. So please, cut mike some slack.