It's a good question, one posed by a Canadian liquor store manager in this story from the Edmonton Sun. The answer, apparently, is Mark Robert Nugent, a 45-year-old man who was charged with assault after allegedly hitting a baby (who was with his mother) on the nose with the nipple of a baby bottle, then flicking the child with his finger. The infant attack, which took place on an Edmonton street not far from the Liquor Depot, was unprovoked, but authorities say alcohol may have been a factor.

A few points about this incident:

1. Flicking is something I used to do to my brother back when he was hogging the TV at the same time I wanted to watch "Family Ties." Generally speaking, it has not occurred to me to flick anyone in about 25 years. While Nugent's behavior is bizarre and, understandably to that poor mother, disturbing, I do have to salute him for creativity.

2. In addition to plain old assault, Nugent also was charged with assault with a weapon and possession of a weapon, that weapon being ... the nipple of the baby bottle. Since when are bottle nipples weapons? If they are, then my house is stocked with some major ammo. Seriously, I could get all "Red Dawn" on someone's ass, Avent-style.

3. To repeat the insightful query raised by Liquor Depot manager Rick Dodson, who would go up and down the street flicking babies? What could Nugent possibly have against this innocent little child? Did the kid look at him funny? Did the baby threaten him by uttering that dreaded, offensive phrase: "Goo-ga"? It's unclear, but one thing is for sure: You can't go around flicking infants. Not in Canada, anyway.

Photo: Megagadgets (Finger Flick Punchbag)