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Sleep Burns Off Baby Weight

Posted by Cole Gamble

Let me just start by saying my wife is Wonder Woman, or perhaps she just has tapeworm, for when Nicole got pregnant for the first time she lost all her baby weight in six months.  And this was no cute couple of pounds. Nicole had put on 100 pounds (or about 75 kittens). Seriously, here is a picture at Christmas time when she was bigger than the tree:





(Picture deleted by blogger's wife. It is not clear why she has access to the blogging network.)






I'd pass along her weight-loss technique, but it's a safely guarded secret that involves cases of Diet Pepsi , nicotine and a fey, wish-granting miniature space alien named Frazoo.  Now it turns out the aspartame-poisoning, smoker's hack and putting up with Frazoo's inability to wear even the most basic of clothing and conceal his space bits was all for not.  Turns out Nicole could have lost all that weight by getting more sleep.

This study shows that women who get five hours of sleep or less a night retained an average of 11 pounds more than new mothers who got seven hours or more. Part of the reason is sleep deprivation causes your brain to send appetite-inducing chemicals making one feel constantly hungry.

Now, we all know why mom is not getting sleep; there is a little someone who wants to eat at all hours. As result, you want to eat at all hours.  So maybe now you have the husband do the late-night feedings.  Let him get fat. It's not like he has plans to wear a two-piece.

 


Comments

 

steffmarcusky said:

I could have told you that. And all of the extra stress from not getting enough sleep releases cortisol, which puts all the fat at the belly.

May 19, 2008 3:26 PM
 

leahsmom said:

I know this is a silly post. And I don't want to be an obnoxious nerd. At the same time, why fight destiny. It's, "all for <i>naught</i>."

May 19, 2008 3:30 PM

About Cole Gamble

Cole Gamble is a writer in the environs of Portland, Oregon where he has two children, one he calls “Jillian” and the other he simply refers to as “The Beef.” His revolutionary parenting technique is a three-pronged system consisting of A) wrestling children for fun and profit; B) convincing his daughter she is a robot; and C) resisting the urge to beat up other four-year-olds when they tease his kids. Propagation of aforementioned children was assisted by his wife, Nicole, who is gorgeous but ironically hates being photographed. His writing has appeared in print, on various Internets and been transmitted into the air through the magic of the radio. Currently he is working on an evil self-help book titled Improve Your Life Or Die.

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