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Happy Mother's Day Fatso!

Posted by Brett Singer

If you want to ensure that the mother of your children – or even your own mother! – never speaks to you again, do I have some gift ideas for you!

Wii FitWii Fit / Brain-Age

Wal-mart is advertising the new Wii Fit game as a great Mother's Day gift. A German retailer is offering a gift package including flowers (good), a Nintendo DS (okay, if Mom likes games), and Brain Age to help mom exercise her aging mind (um….). So maybe get Wii Fit for your wife and the brain-training package for Gramma, right?

My guess is that this is only a good idea if you have ever wondered what it would be like to have a video game system shoved down your throat.

 

 

 

 

 

A Tummy Tuck for MomMommy Makeover (Plastic Surgery)

Nothing says "Thanks for giving birth to our beautiful children" like a gift certificate for plastic surgery. Hey, why not get that pre-pregnancy body back the easy way? You look like hell, honey, and I really think you'd be happier – and let's face it, so would I – if you just bit the bullet and got a breast lift, tummy tuck and had that cellulite sucked out of you with a vacuum cleaner. Happy Mother's Day!

Or you could just get a necklace or something. You know, your call.


 

So, in all seriousness, did anyone ever get you a Mother's Day present that seemed inappropriate? Like, a bowling ball, even though you don't bowl (but your husband does)? Or have you ever given a Mother's Day gift that you wish you hadn't?

images: amommymakeover.com, stuff.co.nz 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted May 08 2008, 04:00 PM
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Comments

 

MsC said:

The local commercials around holidays like mother's day for laser hair removal always crack me up.  What couch-sleeping doof get his wife that?  

(Note: I realize some women might appreciate such a gift, but if your SO or Mom hasn't specifically mentioned it, I'd really advise not going there.)

May 8, 2008 4:04 PM
 

maeby said:

= /  i've asked for both those gifts

May 8, 2008 4:20 PM
 

coolteamblt said:

I think it's one thing to ask for them. There's nothing wrong with that. It just sounds like an insensitive sort of thing to spring on someone that never asked for them. "Sweetie, I know you never said anything, but I know we all hate your fat belly. Have some lipo!"

May 8, 2008 6:46 PM
 

Cassie said:

Hey, that after photo is a guy!  

May 8, 2008 8:30 PM
 

MissB said:

Hey, at least they aren't suggesting giving her a gift certificate for vaginoplasty.

May 8, 2008 8:37 PM
 

troll said:

The before pic of the tummytuck is way better than the after.  Her stomach looked pretty hot, I really hope that it's a bait and switch photo and that she still has that stomach.  The after one looks freaky, like Patricia Heatons stomach with her no bellybutton.

May 9, 2008 9:25 AM
 

maeby said:

oh i'll take vaginoplasty too...

May 9, 2008 1:55 PM

About Brett Singer

Brett Singer is a writer and father living in Manhattan with his wonderful wife and two terrific sons (referred to here as Thing 1 and Thing 2). He writes about music for the Boston Phoenix, sports for Go2.com (a text messaging company) and other topics for anyone else who will have him.

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