Kid’s Guide to Mommy’s Plastic Surgery
It has already been well established that women’s bodies post-baby are utterly disgusting stretched out bags of goo. After all, the Mommy Makeover is big business and MILF-ism is where it’s at.
Finally someone has written a book to help young children explain Mommy’s bandages!
Author Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a board-certified plastic surgeon, wrote the book “My Beautiful Mommy” to help explain Mommy’s new flat tummy and prettier nose. Assuming one is on board with teaching kids that women need surgery to be acceptable (because you aren’t ok if you’re not beautiful like a MILF), imagine the crop of young girls with eating disorders we’re creating here. Imagine the straight boys who will be trained to hate any woman who isn’t young, firm, and pretty.
Mommy makeovers are increasingly popular (the combination tummy tuck and breast augmentation), and the good doctor saw an increasing number of women coming into his offices children in tow. So writing this book was a service.
How else would one explain Mommy’s inability to lift anything or her need to stay in bed, or her self-hatred?
What’s next here:
Well Michael the problem is what our society considers “looking nice.” Nobody chooses to have plastic surgery, we are all brainwashed to believe that fat = disgusting, so how is it a choice if a mom has a tummy tuck when everywhere around her there are images of flat abs and people talking about flat abs? If we didn’t place so much emphasis on appearance, specifically for women, maybe women wouldn’t feel unattractive after they give birth. I think there is something very wrong with a society that tells women they are less attractive when they become mothers. And the idea that someone gets surgery “for themselves” is a complete lie. You may tell yourself that, but really you’re worried about how others will perceive you. You want to feel like you are attractive and accepted. No one wants anyone to think they’ve let themselves go and are unattractive. If our society only values a slim body, then how can someone feel comfortable facing the world with belly bulges? If you lived on an island by yourself, would you still care what you looked like? The act of looking in a mirror lets us know how the world perceives us, and we are inspecting to see if we fit the societal norm. And maybe women would feel okay with their belly fat if the world of fashion didn’t only create stylish clothes meant to fit paris hilton. If clothes actually were tailored to real women’s curves, this wouldn’t be an issue. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look nice, but why can’t a women still look nice past the age of 20 without spending a fortune on painful surgery? When can women just be happy with their bodies, even after child birth and as they age? When can we stop giving women mixed messages about pregnancy, that children will bring you joy, but your body will be disgusting. I think we should respect the women who contribute to the next generation of human beings. We need women’s bodies to continue the human race, yet we are grossed out if they look like they’ve had any kids. Huh? How does that make sense?
Rachel – I work in plastic surgery, as a writer/researcher, and I don’t like this book one bit. The good news is that I’ve worked with 30 plastic surgeons in over 16 states, and although Dr. Michael Salzhauer obviously thought the book was a good idea, I can’t imagine a single surgeon I’ve worked with liking this book one bit. My educated guess is that the majority of surgeons in this country will neither offer nor endorse the book. With that said, while the book may be a joke – and a very bad one at that, a person’s desire to look their best (for themselves and not for anyone else) shouldn’t be a bad thing. I’m working with a surgeon now who performs plastic surgery on Long Island, including the popular “mommy makeover” procedures… breast aug, tummy tuck, etc. I agree with troll in that not every person – woman or man – who desires plastic surgery (and more and more do) does so to appear “hot” to others. Most just want to look better to themselves and to feel better in the types of clothes they want to wear. Finally, I do agree with most everyone here that if there’s going to be a book for mothers/daughters, then there ought to be one for fathers/sons… “Daddy Do-over: How Daddy Got Rid of His Beer Gut and Male Breasts.”
Hopefully there will be a chapter titled “I’m not vain, I just can’t find a pair of jeans that fit me because my stomach will not get any smaller even though I run two miles a day and follow weightwatchers religiously so I’m getting a tummy tuck so I’m not so depressed that I don’t even want to get dressed anymore”. For every woman getting a “mommy makeover”, I bet there’s one like me; I don’t want to be “hot” or a “milf”, I just don’t want my smooshy stomach overflowing everything. My stomach is depressing because it doesn’t budge. My legs look great, my arms are getting tighter everyday, but my stomach looks the same. I don’t think I should be ashamed of wanting to fix it so I can actually wear clothing in my size instead of two sizes bigger so it fits around my belly. I’m saving up for a tummy tuck and I’m not ashamed and if someone tried to shame me for that, then fuck them.
I still want the “My Beautiful Daddy” version. Chapter 14: Hair plugs! (Great point on the boys, Rachael. This is disturbing.)
Wow, I’m totally getting this for my daughter, along with a new copy of “Lose Those Last 10 Pounds Before Fourth Grade.” Her conception of what it means to be female will be awesome!!